Anyways, happy new years to you all.

                                  Three Barflies...Literally

                  An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman decide to take in a pint of their
                  favorites at the old Crook & Flail, their favorite watering hole. Each settles in
                  at the bar with his beer when a strange thing happens: by sheer coincidence
                  (the kind of coincidence that only exists in rotten jokes like this one) three
                  flies collide in mid-air above the bar, and one falls into each of the men's
                  drinks.

                  The Englishman looks at the fly in his beer, shows it to the bartender, and
                  asks for a replacement of his ale. He gets a new one.

                  The Scotsman looks at the fly in his beer, flicks it out onto the bar, squashes
                  it, and drinks the beer down in one gulp.

                  The Irishman looks at the fly in his beer, fishes him out, holds him up, looks
                  him in the eye, and screams, "SPIT IT OUT, Y'BASTARD!!"

Revaluation of all values : this is my formula for an act of supreme coming-to-oneself on the part of mankind which in me has become flesh and genius....
-and he who wants to be a creator in good and evil has first to be a destroyer and break values.

Thus the greatest evil belongs with the greatest good: this, however, is the creative good.

Nietzsche, Friedrich W., Ecce Homo, London: Penguin Books, 1988, pp. 126-127
 

Sure people are stupid about "Y2K", but that doesn't mean i'm not hoping for the apocolypse anyways!!!

The Paladin saw this scene and lowered his head in sorrow.  He went next, knowing his fate was to be the same, yet, having the glimmer of hope that he would succeed.  His blade glimmered against the august sun as he raised it into the air, and began his trek into the darkened forests.  At first he had been sure that the path would be an easy one, because though the berzerkers blade was quickly caught in the thick fleshy vines, the Paladin's sword sliced through it as though it were nothing.   He quickly transversed the first half of the forest until he came upon a mighty tree.  The tree was no ordinary tree, for it was the "Withering Tree" and it was one of the ancient race of trees, when all creatures and living beings of earth could communicate with one another.  It spoke:
"Imbedded in me is a sword that was placed long ago by a true Crusader of the Adunai.  It was pierced into me when i was a sapling, for a true adunai master to find, but that was thousands of years ago, and my bark has long since covered the hilt.  Should you be a true and worthy Knight, you may climb into my womb and retrieve the great sword."
And so entranced was the Paladin at finding a true adunai sword, that he quickly believed the ancient tree's lies, and crawled into it's nest, where it quickly grew around him and trapped him.heh:D

The Ninja watched this happen, and laughed.  Not because of the Paladin's folly, but because of how easy it would be for him to save his true comrades and get through this dangerous swamp.  He quickly drew his blade and ran into the forest.  He bobbed and weaved his way through the darkness, the slashing vines, and the warped weeds.  His blade flashed and easily whipped against the thorns and leaves, and he was not captured.  Soon he had reached the place where the Paladin was entrapped.  He drew his dagger, and slashed against the wood that had captured his friend so tightly.  However, the Paladin was too deeply entrenched.  Each slash did nothing to lessen the strength of the trap the Paladin was trapped in.  Next the Ninja went to the berzerker, surely when he freed the berzerker, the Paladin would be easy to free.  However he found that the berzerker was just as strongly entrenched into his niche.  After hours at futily trying to free either of his compatriots, he gave up his efforts and sunk into his own swampy trap, where he quickly was enraptured by the swamp.
 

A while back, Burger King, in hopes that they could ride the success of Pokémon and the then-upcoming release of Pokémon: The First Movie, they decided to market, with each child's meal, one Pokémon toy in a Pokéball.    The toys were wildly popular, until today. Burger King announced a recall on the toys, proclaiming that they represented a suffocation hazard to little children. The threat was realized when a 13-month old child sucked on half of the ball. The suction created a vacuum, and the unfortunate child died.     Parents are advised to either destroy the balls or return them to Burger King for a small order of fries. by Matthew Prince  Source: Game Informer   http://www.rpgamer.com/news/122899a.html

 CLICK HERE FOR THE STUPENDOUS SPACE MADNESS VERSION OF TONIGHT'S PAGE!!!!

depression is just childhood without freedom
apathy  is just depression without sadness
depression is just nihilism without humor
nihilism is just adunai without a katana. or dex

I am a submarine.  Everything i learned about anything i learned from submarine warfare. I cruise the waters in search of friendly and enemy bogies, slowly transversing deep in the water.  To communicate without the use of radio (which would give away my possition) i ping, and hope the echo's ping back, letting me know, friend or foe.  Yes, i am a submarine.  Deep deep in the water, lost, on a mission to oblivion.  Where's the cavalry?

la tele la tele

it's my brother's x-mas vacation, so we're sleeping in.  Ignore all this, because I'm asleep when i'm writing this.

er..
yeah.
Sometimes, in the darkest times, i think that loud german punk music is the only thing that can provide peace to me.
othertimes, i think i'm a crazy fool.

so..
my turtles still alive.
so..
I have to go to work at 3.
so..
<insert comment here>

I am transversing through a particulalry dark and deep trench right now.
ping.
ping.
ping.
ping.
ping.
no response.

<turns on Wizo, puts on headphones>

after work, i went to denny's with Maureen (Mo, which coincidently is the 42nd element.) and her friend and Joe, and some old man was drunk outside and a bunch of tough college guys started beating him up. It was pretty bad so i went and broke up the fight, and took the old man outside.  Why do people think that violence solves anything?  I think it is because they are stupid.

New defininitions for the adunai:
we are the lost children
we are the ancient ones
we are the forgotten
we are the chosen ones.

Well, i actually got three e-mails from the little survey i asked on 12.16.99, so i guess i'm not entirely hated :)

he misses the point entirely.

Also if you remotely care for me whatsoever, like even in the slightest, e-mail me  herebecause frankely, i doubt anyone does.

My turtle is still alive, and i've constructed a wicked tank from pure chi.  Just kidding, here is how i actually appropriated the equipment for the fish tank, it's in the form of a shakespearean play:
<enter Eric and james at the pet shop>
Eric: look here, gentle giant, for we two friends of truth have entered yonder petshop to find cool stuff for me turtle, what say you?
James: <grunt> looks good.
Eric: hey look, here are rocks, which have seen no equal in 1000 pet shops, these are truly worthy pebbles.
James: aye.
Eric: and here, behold, is a sand fountain, it's shaped like a gargoil, and costs only 10 dollars on clearence from 30 dollars.
James: well then, let us depart.
<walks to front of store>
Eric: hello shopkeep, we have brought these items to make a purchase in your establishment.
<shop keeper rings up things>
Shop Keeper: the cost of your carefully selected pet supplies will be 35 dollars.
Eric: 35 dollars? hmm.  there appears to be a mistake, the gargoil is on clearence for 10 dollars.
Shop keeper: what? $1.99?
Eric: $10.00
Shopkeeper: $1.99
Eric: ahh, sodeska, very well good sir, thank ye.

and so thats it.  I'm sorry for this incredibly stupid diologue, honestly, you should have just skipped it (assuming you didn't)

anyways, more later this week!!

I've discovered my happiness is directly linked to my ownership of turtles.  I was happy when i had my first turtle, and then one summer we put it outside and it died.  I went into a deep depression after this, and i thought it was because my girlfriend had broken up with me!!!  then we got new turtles, and all was well for awile , but then my dad moved and i no longer had turtles!  This all coincided with another resent break up, so once again, i thought it was girls who were tearing me up inside.  but no, it wasn't, it was my lack of shelled reptile pet ownershiphood.  Well, my friends, i now have a turtle again, so watch out :)

Well my friends, allow me to show you the newest addition to the adunai family:
thats right, we found the infinity turtle-

HELP ME NAME MY TURTLE:  send suggestions to my e-mail address, or better yet, POST THEM ON MY MESSAGE BOARD.  everyone who gives me suggestions get to go on the winners page (under info)

also i made a little picture of matthew:
 .Matthew as the caterpiller

ALSO THE CONVERSATION PAGE IS UPDATED, Take that, you rat.

well,
if there's any time to make the voyage, it's that time now.

i won't be broken.

I know most of you are skeptical, but have faith, for the adunai path is the path to truth and freedom, so tommarrow, stick it to god and whoever else has been knockin you around, you'll feel much better.

I just returned from Ohio where i was visiting my dad and sister, it was nice back there. anyways, back to the update..

"Slow and steady wins the race" this my friends, is pretty much a lie, i mean the entire story is just stupid.   The reason the tortoise won the race was becasue the rabbit he waqs racing against was just blatantly stupid.  I mean, the rabbit should have easily won.  So really, i don't like that story.

...Number 9, number 9, number 9, number 9, number 9...

I found out that tums is the wonder drug, yessiree, it is perfect, it is truly the second adunai elixer, the first, of course, being cough syrup.  Cheers!

Airplanes suck for one major reason: there is no room.  You're forced into a tight little area with no ability to move, next to some weird freak of a person next to you.  It's hard enough to change CD's in the CD player, let alone try to write or maybe move your legs so they don't go numb from lack of circulation.  Anyways, there's no point to this other then i hate airplane rides.

well..
thats all for today, i'm sorry.

conversation page is updated.

anyways..
A man came to the door and knocked.  I was in bed, I ignored it, I figured if it was anyone i knew, they'd just come in.  Course, he kept knocking, so i went to the door.  There was a man, handing out pamphlets and advocating and taking a consensus, on the subject of gay marriages.   The bill is called "Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California."  He asked if he could count on my vote to pass this bill.  I told him I was undecided.  Why? Because i think it's a touchy issue, and there are valid arguements on both sides.  I mean, i see the problems with same sex marriages in the same way that i see problems with everything that goes against the standard recognized norm.  People are idiots and they can't accept change.  Maybe it's for the best, because while i have been accused of being a conservative on this webpage, it's not that i don't want change, it's just that i like somethings the way they are.  The problem with gay marriages is not that they shouldn't have the right to be married, because they should, they should have every right to their pursuit of happiness as everyone else, but the side effects are the problems.  By making gay marriages legal, that makes the acceptance of gay society in mainstream culture.  Is this a bad thing?  I don'tr know.  It could be though.  I believe homosexuality is a product of the envirement they were raised in and the society they live in, as well as the genetic factor, and maybe by bringing homosexual culture to the front of civilization, it might make a lot more little homosexuals, that are all confused, lost, and unhappy.  It's perpetuating the problem, and it's making things much much more complicated.  So while on one hand i believe they should have the right to marry and live as any heterosexual couple, I also am wary of the social impacts something like this might have.  Society is spiraling downward, we can't stop the inevitable, only delay it.

What logic am i using?  Just recognize the latest social trends of our culture, and you'll see that we are collapsing around ourselves.  This has happened before in thousands of social groups before us, but never so fast.  The reason our society isn't going to last as long as say, ancient Rome, is becuase technology.  We live in a fast paced world of cars and cellphones, communication and vehicles allow the quick and rapid production and transit of new ideas, which makes the corruption not worse, but faster.

But who am I to judge? eric,  i am eric I get to judge.  just kidding.  maybe.

In a dream, Sanford from Sanford and son told me a very important message, but i forget it.

My ticket, which i recieved for driving without a liscence (even though i had one) then lied to about (he said i could get it signed off, but then marked on the ticket that i couldn't) has really really left me fucked over.  I tried about 6 times to handle it, but becuase of the arbitrary nature of the ticket, it just kinda had a way of slipping through my abilities to handle, and regardless, the bottomline is that i've now fucked myself over.  My ticket bail is now 617 dollars.  I don't know how to deal with this, i'm gonna get all the DMV stuff, and do all i can, but basically, i'm just screwed.

My car threw a rod, which means i have no way to work, which is in irvine.  I was planning on saving up and getting a car, but alas, our tyrannical government of evil has deamed me unworthy of "life liberty and the persuit of happiness" so all my money will now be going to uncle sam, and maybe if i'm lucky that'll keep me out of jail.

Uh, suddenly, this bitch session has lost it's momentum and i no longer feel compelled to go on about all this bullshit, because it's just bringing me down.  Therefore I will make my closing arguement:
Yesterday i saw a rat dead in the road.  It's poor life was filled with hiding in our trash looking for food.  It didn't want to be vermin, i never wanted to be a pest, all it wanted was food and warmth, and maybe some female rat friend, and it would be happy.  But we hate them, we hate rats.  I don't know why we do, i guess it's because they annoy us, so we try to poisen them and kill them.  This particular rat was a smart one, he avoided rat traps or poisened cheese, but he wasn't smart enough.  Because he was running accross the street and got ran over.  Who cares about a dead rat?  It lived it's life hated, hunted, cold, it was an unhappy rat, now it is dead, without anyones remorse.  It doesn't even get the dignity of pity.  It doesn't even get buried.  No one cares.

and in the end, i am left a defeated man.
I went down...

11.12.99
the reason i don't update more is because i'm  a quality fiend, and actually most of the stuff i put up is trash.

is nothing perfect?
i made a god
out of blood
not superiority
i killed the king
of deceit
wake me up in anacrchy
i made a god
out out of love
not absolute purity
i kissed the queen
of the truth
wake me up in anarchy.

There's always messiage deluxe, band of insanity, musicians of the future, creators of a new, more chaotic tomarrow.  click on the music link to find the 2 new mp3's ready for posting, feel the force or raw adunai insanity unleashed.  Actually, download a couple mp3's i recorded, in the hopes of making you happy.

also, look at what else i found (damn this is a pretty self centered update, good thing this is my webpage and no one is here to regulate me)

thats right.  all your problems are solved.  cept you're going to have a lot more new ones. <sigh> more tomarrow, I promise, also i promise it'll be better.

what is the meaning of all this?  I think you forgot the theme of this webpage: Blatant nihilism.

I've updated shaolin master Mu Tzu's webpage, click  here  to view it.

also the zen page has been slightly updated.
There are a few more conversations on the conversations page.
I added a bunch to the ME section, mostly for Corrie to read.
thats it.
Lets see...

oops, looks like we're out of time, goodnight folks!
wait.. i have one more thing to tell you:
the point of the adunai group is to get things for my webpage, the point of my webpage is to get me girls, the point of getting girls is to cover up homosexuality, even though i am so obviously and blatantly not gay.  what a joke, where's a oven?

all i have to say is yesterday i had to give a debate in which i had to roleplay as a 1830's women's lib chick, and i busted out and my team won.

Don't buy retreaded tires straight from mexico, because, they fall apart while driving on the freeway.  I know this from personal experience.

Go see House on Haunted Hill it's very very cool.  The atmosphere is beautiful, it's one of the truly scary movies i've seen, it's very surreal.

I got two new goldfish, one of them didn't have a mouth though, so it died, the other one is still alive but i'm waiting a week before giving it a name so i don't get emotionally attached to it and then it dies.

I have 3 goals for this week
1) directly patch my portable CD player to my car speakers so I have something beside mexican radio music.
2) Get a job or two (prospects are looking at a Game room at wherehouse and a job selling swords at Midevil Times)
3) Obtain somehow Age of Empires 2.
I had 4, but my Gas tank is now completly filled to the top, thanks to everyone's favorite Spuzz.

There is also a small but signifigant change on the page.  It's not hidden.

The Spell Jammin Ram came and left you all an allshroom:  spell jammin ram chats with depressed goth's in a poetry room

"Life is hard, the front of an oncoming train is harder" so don't jump in front of a train.

we are nihiileistssdsdds...  Uhh... We need a new word for "Nihilism" because evidently some mooks got to "nihilism" before us.  We like to call ourselves Neelists spelled nihilists, but it doesn't work any longer.  and mu-ist sounds like a cow.  So, e-mail if you know of a good label to represent an uncarved block.

Maybe there is something to underground christianity in such a way that there is something to the underground french.. hmm..

Oh yeah, all right
Take it easy baby
Make it last all night
She was an American girl

It was kind of cold that night
She stood alone on her balcony
She could the cars roll by
Out on 441
Like waves crashin' in the beach
And for one desperate moment there
He crept back in her memory
God it's so painful
Something that's so close
And still so far out of reach

Oh yeah, all right
Take it easy baby
Make it last all night
She was an American girl
-
End of Song.

In death's agony, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his
favorite chocolate chip cookies wafting up the stairs. He
gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the
bed.

Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the
bedroom, and with even greater effort forced himself down the
stairs, gripping the railing with both hands, he crawled
downstairs.

With labored breath, he leaned against the door-frame, gazing
into the kitchen. Were it not for death's agony, he would have
thought himself already in heaven: there, spread out upon
waxed paper on the kitchen table were literally hundreds of
his favorite chocolate chip cookies.

Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of heroic love from his
devoted wife, seeing to it that he left this world a happy
man?

Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself toward the
table, landing on his knees in a rumpled posture. His parched
lips parted: the wondrous taste of the cookie was already in
his mouth, seemingly bringing him back to life.

The aged and withered hand trembled on its way to a cookie at
the edge of the table, when it was suddenly smacked with a
spatula by his wife.

"Stay out of those," she said, "they're for the funeral."

every breath i take
brings me a step closer
to the oldman
i'll soon be

i found a sanctuary once
and i loved it so well
held unto it so tight
that it went away

if things were always dark
how could I know there is a sky?
how could i know of beauty
how could things be different
-

It's true nature is revealed in
it's eyes
and its movements; when it moves
and it breathes with suttle elegance
like water in a stream:
it's epically tragic
it's tragically beautiful
and in the end
it's all that remains
-
the fears we feel
the beauty we see
the pain we take
is all we have
and in a large world
we are so small that
it's suprising God can give
us each a little kiss
-
we all know we are alone
we are born alone
we will die alone
in between we romance ourselves
with delightful lies and fallacy's
our dreams; our goals; -> lies.
Where does this passion come from?
where will it go?
It's only a dream
I will die as I have lived
-

We have the key;
there is no door.
 control me
 break me
 defeat me
 take me
it's us or them;it's me or you
trying to remember all that we once knew
trying to find what we know is true
 it's a dream
 it's a lullaby
 I go to sleep
 I say goodbye
We have the key what is it to?
 I found the answer once;
 it was hidden deep away
 i left it there
 knowing i might need it today
but i never wanted more,
then not enough or way too much
a little bit of love
or the softest touch
but in the end..
we're all left alone

-
it's my fault
i take a mile every inch
i take things on faith
I make them what i want them to be.
-
the first one was sweet
i took a fraction and thought it was the whole
it was nothing
but my innocence is what it stole.
-
i met a girl
i thought that she was dark and deep
it wasn't her fault i was a fool
despite all appearance
we were just at the deep end of the kiddy pool
-
There's a thing about principles
and i see a girl that has them
it's all my fault for not seeing
she was only good for lack of oppurtunity
-
I don't want happiness
I want a bit of purity
I can't give up whats real
for a little joy to feel
-
so where..
is a nihilist to go?

Very soon some big things are coming to the page, it will be fun!!!

click on the icon to the left to view an adunai warchine.
click on this one to see my drawing of an FF dragoon.

The adunai immortals are revealing themselves, I will add two more a day till all 13 places are taken up.  They will be on thier own special page with a picture and discription.

If you don't understand, thats ok, because that is not the point of this webpage, the point of this webpage is to let you all know that as long as there is evil and tyranny in this world, there will be the adunai to stand against it.

 I rewrote the lyrics to Video Killed the Radio Star click here to see them The song will be on the messiah delux page tomarrow.

Some ancient wall scrolls have been found at the bottom of the adunai temple.  They reveal the true nature of the mysteries behind UFO's and the famous lake monsters found accross earth.  You see, the aquatic giants of the water are earth's defense against the alien invaders.  Here is a picture of the lochness monster eating a UFO.  The adunai text on the side says "Alien technology is nothing to the sheer power of the scottish.  Also, the aliens are gay."

To offset the blatant disregard for human compassion that has been evident on this page since it's birth, here's a picture of a cute baby:
(they look like daisies, but have you ever seen how adunai reproduce? it involves planting spoors in plant based alien lifeforms.)

This is my webpage, but it's more then just entertainment for my 1 or 2 loyal readers, it is also a way to get all the thoughts out of my head.  I find if i don't write them all down, they got lost in the infinity spiral of the universe, never to be found again.  Also, they seem to dwell inside me until they decide to manifest themselves in a giant universe destroying beast that i'm sure looks a lot like the biomechanical Atma beast.  Anyways, despite all efforts, life for me right now pretty much sucks.  Let me elaborate, i will write it in the form of a list of pro's and cons.  I don't expect any of you to understand this, or even to care, this is for me, not you.

So the basic point is (assuming you bothered reading this far, or if you skipped the whole thing) is that if I seem a little bit touchy or pissy lately, cut me a little bit of slack, I'm working on it, and don't take the things i say personally, it's just me being f*cked up.  I'm sorry every other update is random depression stuff, I'll try to continue the top level of humor based material that all of you people have grown to love and enjoy.  ADUNAI!!!

There's a couple new words in the glossary as well.  I wrote the above entry last night, i was very, very tired.   Glossary

Conversation page is updated..

Well it's official, i've lost it.  Let me show you how it stands now:
Me, the mexican desparados with aqualungs and society, Satan, and Jenova in a free for all battle.  Thats right, I'm battling  everything for complete control over the universe.  notice i didn't put God in there.  Thats because it's the point of this existance to ignore God.  We all know he's there, but i'm just going to pretend he isn't.  Anyways, I'm sure i can take satan and the desparados and society, but combined, they will probably lay waste to me, if i was alone. However, I still have comrades in my fight against existance.  Thats right kids, PONCHO IS ON MY SIDE.   It 's me and my sidekick all alone against everything that ever was.  I'm good against the odds, but come on.

Whats the point?  Well, i've often asked myself the question, but i've never found an answer.  Lots of people find lots of things to make life have a point, but well, I think it's kind of futile.  Why fool myself?
Does this all make sense?
I didn't think so.
I'm making 1 cent a minute for being online right now.
hmm.......................
The tighter you hold on, the more that slips through your fingers...
maybe i should just let it all go
and then I will fall into oblivion.  But maybe oblivion is where it's all at, I've never been there personally, so it's likely considering there is nothing here.
Oops, i just realized i'm being existentialist.
I also realized i'm flooding my stupid webpage with stupid pointless banter.
and i'm happy about it!!!
I can't believe people even read all this.  I doubt they do, i never hear from them, it's probably me all by myself, just like everything else, freaking existentialsm.
I burn every bridge i ever cross.

I think that the entire universe is propelled by one consciencness and each life form is just that conscienceness being filtered through into the physical world.  Which means, me, you, the cat, my goldfish, we're all the same thing at the very core, but our brain size, our lives we live, make everything all fraction off and become different.  I think this is how God ammuses himself, by fractioning his conscienceness into bazillions of lives and then interacting with himself.  I guess if you're god and you exist forever and you're nihilist, you probably have nothing better to do.  But see, i've caught on, I'm the anti-existance existant!  Well,, that was a tangent off the actual point.  The actual point is, if we are all of the same ilk, we should be nicer to each other, because all we do is hurt ourself.

as for me, I'm always the same all time.  The same old emotions, the same old sadness, the same old happiness all at the same time.  It never changes.  I just deal with the sameness in different ways at different times.  I'm just waiting for somethign to happen, but i doubt it ever will.

Either that or a really sweet intelligent beautiful girl to take me away from all my own insanity.  But they all have better things to do.

By the way, go to the conversation page, and read it.
Here is a nifty comic page i made from neat stuff i found and scanned: Comics

Anyways, I've updated my personal fav page, the conversation page, so you should all see that.
also I added a poetry page it's in the art/music section if you really want to see it.

I have found out about this thing that can make us all lots of money for doing nothing but sitting here online.  The way it works is, you sign up (it's really really easy, it takes like 2 minutes) and then you make 50 cents an hour for being online, plus an additional 10 cents an hour for everyone you refer to the program.  Also, you get an additional 5 cents for everyone they refer, and it works for up to 5 generations.  Which basically means, we all refer lots of people, and we'll all make massive amounts of cash for doing nothing.  I think this is a really cool idea.  Click on the link below (or scroll down to the bottom) and sign up.  The very worst case scenerio is you waste 1 minute signing up, next worst case is you make 50 cents an hour for doing nothing but being on line, which is pretty cool.  Basically, if every reader on this page signs up, money will be rolling in.  If i recruit 10 people, i'll make 1.50 an hour for working on this webpage! woohoo.  so you should all do this.  thanks, love you, bye.
 Click here

I can't believe I wasted my time writing all that.

By the way:  POST ON MY MESSAGE BOARD

I UPDATED MY GLOSSARY!! if anyone cares.  click here

My younger counterpart, Little eric has made his webpage about santa claus, you can view it  here

REMEMBER ERIC'S LAW: It'll work out.

Before e-mailing me telling me of misc. mistakes in spelling, grammar, or ediquete in the above passage, remember that I am a nihilist, and i don't take kindly to you intellectual folk tellin me how to run this here webpage.  I feel like i'm caught in the wild west.  Uh.  Anyways, moving on to the real point of today's update (yes, there is one) I recently asked my friend Alan if there is anything really worth waiting for.  He said Bob Saget Dying.  Come on now, is death really something to wait for?  I mean, sure Bob Saget is pretty gay, and we all can have a good laugh at him, but waiting for him to kick the bucket is kinda like waiting for the milk to get out of the cow and into the store.  I don't know how it happens, but it does.  Likewise with this case.  So you all know what i'm talking about, i'll use gangsta code: 23429894.  thats right.

Speaking of Cows, did you know all of you have eaten a part of George Washington?  I mean think about it, he's buried, the worm eats him, a lizard the worm, a bird eats the lizard, then the cow eats the bird.  So you see how it works?  Next time you go to mcdonalds, just think about that, it's not just some madcow disease survivor mixed with sewer rat, you're also eating part of our countries forefathers.

Here we go, i know you've all been waiting for it.

thats right kids, it's nihilism day.  for our first guest, we have a man who needs no introduction, it's nihilist neal!
Neal: Hello everyone
Interview: So you think it's funny to be a nihilist?
Neal: "Sometimes" <pause for laugh>
Interview: (chuckle) thats very funny neal, now honestly, do you really believe nothing has any meaning?
Neal: (crying) no, I don't, i'm not a nihilist, i'm sorry, i have to leave.

uh, yeah.
Good thing this is my web page and not yours, because you wouldn't let me write this kind of stuff.
For our second guest we have our good friend, Poncho Villa!  hurray
Poncho: ...
Interviewer: so how are you?
Poncho: ...
Intervierwer: this is a big waste of time, huh?
Poncho: ...

Lets all give a big round of applause for poncho Villa, mexican folklore hero! yayyyy.

I hate nihilism.

 i take everything too lightly
 because if i don't it drags me down
 and while i'm swimming towards the surface
 i lose my breath and drown

who am i
i do not know
what am i
where do i go?

when in worry or in doubt
run in circles scream and shout

Check out my page of zen poetics:  become a Zen Master in 21 days

stuff happened with cops, it's very funny, maybe, when i'm bored, i'll write about it.
I updated the best section of my page (conversation) and also i added some pictures to my other best section, my retarded picture page.  Check it out!

We went to shaolin master Wen's Donuts today, but Lao Tzu wasnt there.

I promise there will be more stuff later, it's early and i decided to spam my own webpage with worthless crap.  Uh, post messages on the message board!!!!!!!!!!!!

i'm in immense pain as i broke my right hand.  It was pretty bad, i had to pop my tendons back in place, and it was bleeding pretty badly.  Its hard to type with my cast/splint thingy, so i'll keep it kinda short: I hate doctors.  Bleeding and in immense pain, i had to wait for clearance from insurance before i could get it fixed.  Then i sat there waiting while they decided what to do.  I told them the cuts weren't a big deal, but my broken hand and trunked tendons were.  Very patronizingly she asked "how do you know its broken" i replied that i felt the bone go up over the other bone, and that the punched that did it knocked a hole in cement.  Anyways after the x-ray, they bandaged it up, and sent me on my way.  B efore i left, the gay male nurse asked if i did it for pity.  Yes, i shoved my hand at 5billion miles an hour into cement for pity.  I love hospitals.
More later..

I got Tiberian Sun.  It kicks ass.

The next song by Messiah Delux, entitled Pinko.Com is at the messiah delux page  Click Here

Of and i forgot to tell you, today may very well be the end of the world.  An angel came and told me that if i didn't save the world, then God and Satan would destroy the universe.  Fortunatly it was me she came to and not the mexicans accross the street because they can't speak english.  Anyways, this may very well be the last post on my webpage if I fail.  I am going unarmed, ungoatee'ed, and looking like a retarded foreign exchange student.  Oh well.

Yes, thats right, i am bored.
Everyone e-mail me your vote for stupidest looking pics!!!
I'm adding stuff to the page, i've updated the art section, and the stories section so check them out.
also there is some new stuff on my personal favorite page, the conversation page.

THIS IS A MEDICAL REALITY!
*******************************************
 Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures.
Remember, when someone annoys you, it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown,
but it takes only 4 muscles to extend your arm and smack the asshole  upside the head.

I promise this page will get better someday.

I don't really have much to say right now.  I will probably be back later to add more.  I started writing a story but netscape crashed and i lost the whole damn thing.

I'll be writing a whole bunch of stories and stuff tonight, so look forward to all new installments in the Daisy and the Mad Bumbler Saga.  Also, if you didn't notice, the Glossary is updated.

They made me take Human Flesh off of ebay because they felt it was something inappropriate, exspecially because it was under misc. food items.  Bah...

 Click here if you know whats good for you  you heard the man.

I feel a rant coming on.  The reason philosophers think nihilists are contradictory and self delusional is because nihilists just weave such a web of deception and chaos around every theory that was ever made ever and then crashes it down and laughs.  Nihilists are really funny. They can't contradict themselves because everything they say has no meaning and has infinite truth and infinite lies in it.  See, anyway you look at it, telling the truth is lying in a way that manipulates people, and lies, well, we always know they are bad.  The point is, if you have any mainstream religion don't talk to nihilists, because they will call you a monkey and then when you get offended they will say they are a monkey too... ohhh boy.

I kinda feel that being circumcised at birth was almost a rape of sorts.  I know it's a tradition and all that and it's probably healthier and cleaner, but i don't know, i feel somehow a part of me is gone and I can never get it back.

Thats right kids, there's no getting off this train we're on.  Case in point: everyone gets on my back to get a job.  I get a job at walmart doing the worst work in the entire universe (changing oil) for 7 dollars an hour.  I work for 2 weeks, get 500 bucks and quit.  Why do I need to work more? I have money.  My mom tells me "you need a job" and i tell her me getting a job is no big deal and I hardly even have to try to get one and people hire me.  I said this before also before i had ever had a job, and meg, my dad, my mom and society itself said "you won't be able to get a job that easy"  well to them I have to say that I applied for 3 jobs and all three called me back. Back on track though, my mom tells me "you need a job."  So today i'm sitting in my living room, and I decide, yeah, a job would be a good idea.  I have Alan call cost plus, and Wham! Bam! I have a job.  It took aproximently 3 minutes.  Why do people worry and stress so much? oh. thats right. they aren't me. <strokes his own ego>

Ohhhhh boy.  Adunai week is over and this page is back in action.  I'm crazy.  No wonder no one reads this page.  How can you kids let me get away with such blatant affronts.  Wheres the revolutionaries?  Fight the man.  <laughs>

Adunai week is still adunai week.  I was in a bad mood earlier, you must forgive me.

I'm thinking about changing the title of this page to "what the hell is wrong with me?"

Wazoooooooooooooooooooo

I registered for college wednsday, I'm in philosophy with 2 other adunai, so this should be very interesting.

Let me explain the difference between a Nihilist (NILE-IST) and a nihilist (nee-ill-ist) both are spelled the same way and mean the same thing: someone who believes that nothing has any meaning.  However, the different pronounciation makes all the difference.  Nihilist (Nile-ist) means someone who believes in nothing and is depressed that nothing has any meaning whatsoever.  Nihilist (nee-ill-ist) means someone who believes nothing has any meaning, and that it's really funny.  Of course I made up the whole difference thing.

i bought a videocamera and a groovy graphics card so soon i will be putting up some video's to download.  My friend Sean filmed a light saber fight between Alan and I, and it going to add special effects and music, so it'll be cool.

POST MESSAGES ON THE MESSAGE BOARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! please.

I will make side "B" later, maybe tomarrow.  if you think it should be changed at all or if i forgot or added something wrong, just put it up on the message board, or e-mail me.

I have to go to college registration today, so that might suck.  I lost all the important papers i needed (typical of me) and so I have to figure out a way to improvise on this situation

For all of you who didnt know, the message board is alive and kicking and i encourage you to leave your mark on it, so we can experience lots of really messed up stuff.

I wrote two short adunai stories that you all need to read, and laugh at. (write responses in the message board, if ya want)
 Nihilism, infinite sadness, and the last laugh
 Twang - the story of the final battle

Uhm... thats all for now

Everyone should read the conversation section of the page, it's supremely entertaining.

we've decided that the begginning of Adunai Week is next saturday when kate arrives here from whereever the hell she is from.  that begins a 6 day party of chaos. on the seventh day (sunday) we shall rest.

What is the meaning of all this? I don't know.

Subject:         realy
   Date:         Sun, 01 Aug 1999 23:04:19 PDT
   From:        "Tobias Herrmann" <toby74@excite.com>
     To:        "Gary Coleman" <GColeman@adunai.iwarp.com>
On Sat, 31 Jul 1999 16:00:57 -0700, Gary Coleman wrote:
> this is gary coleman, fuck you
>
Hi Gary,
nice to hear from who ever you are. You language is not fine but for
somebody like you appropriate. I belive you on of this fucking Americans
with a to short dick. Have fun during masturbation with two fingers.
Stay in touch
Toby

Also I plan on writing a book entitled "Why marriage doesn't work" with a subtitle that says "Unconditional love my ass"

A girl with orange hair and a dress came and applied for a job at james' coffee shop.   After the girl with the orange hair left, a different girl went to james.
  "We have to hire her, she's a pixie." the girl said
  "Like a fairy? Pixies wear boots." replied James
  "what?" the girl said.
  "Nothing, I guess you don't listen to black sabbath. Whats a pixie?" replied James
  "There are two gangs in Dana Point, the Pixies and the Lords.  Take a guess" and the girl walked away disgusted.
THE PIXIES AND THE LORDS.... ohh god.  Please.  Protect me from these evil gang members.  I hope the entire gang of pixies attacks me, seriously, my thanos shield would be so strong from me laughing, their bullets will bounce off of me.  Jesus christ.. The Pixies and the Lords.. does it get any better? I didn't think so.

Hmm.. I go to work tomarrow.

I was thinking about getting a tattoo that spirals on my back and each time I fall in love with someone I will add it to my back and each time i will think it's the last.  When i'm dead i will have my entire back filled up probably and it will be hanuting beautiful.

I cannot be assimilated.  It's impossible.  If the borg took over the planet, and I was taken over and fixed up with all the borg gear, I would tap the headphone and say "is this working?" then i would shrug and leave.  If i was part of a fractal, I would appear in random parts of the pattern.  Lets say I am being slaughtered and put into an alien's hamburger.  Some alien would eat a Bigmac with me in it and choke to death.  This really really lightens a major load on my shoulder by taking away my biggest fear.  i love you all.

7.25.99
Nothing major, just added a message board (click here) so feel free to leave your messages and maybe we can start online flame wars or something.  *UPDATE* this damn message board will never work, it's like my friggin counter (*sigh*)
Life is ok, but sometimes you just have to improvise.  I can take a standard chair and fashion it into a katana to kill zombies with.  (I know it's been the fact of the day for awhile, i like it though, so leave me alone ok?)

My job is hell, so I've decided to quit.  I figure any job I could get will be beautiful compared to standing under a hot car changing hot oil while working with assholes, and getting no thanks.  Fast food, which I always dreaded, now seems very cushy.  7 dollars is not worth it.

I'm going to take Psychology of Women at school next year.  There are three reasons: 1) Maybe MAYBE it will give me some insight into how women think 2) I get to argue with feminist, which rates number 7 on my favorite things to do list.  3) I get to meet chicks.

Would you like to see the most recent picture of JFK Jr.? Take a steak and drop it into a fishtank.

a man wants to become famous, to become the best at something, he is unhappy with his life, and he feels like he has accomplished nothing and no one ever gives him recognition so he goes to this mountain, it is the largest mountain in the world, and it's side is straight up, impossible to climb, no one ever has made it to the top, though hundreds have died trying and pulls himself up and there, sitting at the top, is a monk.  the man says "you've been up here all this time? I'm not the first?" and the monk says "nor the second, many have been up here." then the monk teaches him the secret to inner peace, and makes him promise not to tell anyone that he climbed the mountain.
The end

I got my first paycheck.  After working at walmart for 2 weeks, I now have in my possession a paycheck for one hundred and four dollars.  I will scan it later, cause my scanner doesn't work on the adunai computer.

I had funny stories, but I'm tired now and I forget them.  One to tide you over is that my boss Bill Wacker was trying to show me how to spray clean a full injector with a spray bottle, and you have to do it with the engine on, and he was spraying it and the plastic neck of the spray bottle got sucked into the engine and he had to take the whole thing apart to get it out and fix the car.  I think those bastards tried to figure out a way to blame it on me.

Now that I'm single I'm taking applications for my next girlfriend.  Send resumes via e-mail to iwanttodateagreasemonkey@adunai.iwarp.com
be sure to include previous experience and schooling as well as a list of references.  While most things don't matter, I have a brief list of rules that I will follow in selecting my next mate:
1) No men
2) Must like fishing

I contacted an agency to help me get the Strimbello (hamster propelled helicopter) patented and out on the market, I'll keep you posted.

And if you're depressed take 8 Complete pills and call me in the morning.

If you ever need anything to do with your car, like an oil change or a tire repair, and if you're thinking i might be able to help you, well, feel free to get lost.

Love You All,

Jaevin

I was sitting around today and I thought to myself "you use nihilism as a front to hide all the pain you feel inside" and I agreed with myself, then I laughed for a little while.

When you are young your parents tell you you have to be good because Santa Claus sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake and all that.  Later in life, when you're big and know there is no such thing as Santa Claus, they tell you the same thing about God.

Me, Alan and James were getting food at a local chinese food place, I got chicken and chow mein, James got Rice and Chicken, and Alan bought a fortune cookie.  I asked him why he didn't buy any food, he said he was saving it because he had worked an hour for the money he would spend on food.  So I asked him if he was saving it for a Magic 8 ball, he said "no" opened his fortune cookie, it was empty and replied "I'm saving it for fortune cookies without fortunes."  As with all my stories, you really had to have been there.

My girlfriend broke up with me.  I'm really sad.  It's ok though, i guess.

Epitah
-
there were so many things
so much
that made our relationship so beautiful.
It swells up inside me
killing the pain
dulling the senses of the wounds underneith
and the scars that will come
some say
that scars are a sign of character
and I feel like I have so many
so many people
so many things
and sometimes someone comes along that makes you forget about those things
and they let you feel like life is worth it
that everything is worth it.
but there is a time for all things to end
and you must know when enough is enough
sometimes things just cannot go on
and it hurts
it burns
and it will scar
and thats ok.

but it's better to have loved and lost
then never loved at all
and sure there are more fish in the sea
but none make you more sad then the ones that got away.

"but as long as I can swivel on my cane to oogle pretty girls..you know i'll be back" -Robert Heinlein

a rose cannot stay beautiful forever
it wilts..
and dies..
until next spring.

and I will finish the way I start everything:
"it may seem bleak, but it's not over, not yet."

Don't e-mail me and call me a sap, I already know.

"Shut your fucking face uncle fucker, you're a cock sucking asslicking bastard uncles fucker, you're an uncle fucker yes its true, nobody fucks uncles quite like you."  terrance and philip

heh.  I still am adunai enough to see the irony in all of this.

I had more ideas to write but they ellude me now, I'll add more later.

Go see the south park movie, I can so no more, I'm sworn to secrecy

I'm building a flying hamster wheel.  As the hamster runs, it will spin a propellor that will cause the entire contraption to levitate.  Prototypes and journal will soon follow.  It is called the strimbello.

Hi !
Sorry to appear a bit rude but...
Do you think it's funny to spoil the TAK forum with
your stupid game of 14-year old teenager ? It's stupid and dumb.
br,
John

Yes, yes I do think it's funny
love,
Jaevin

I must reiterate that Ninja Scroll is a serious must watch for all of you.

I want to put some sort of message bored on this page, if anyone knows hot to do that, it would be much appreciated if you could e-mail me and help me out.  I'm kinda too lazy to look it up.  Amazingly I did however have the time play everquest for 4 hours straight today.  It's a really cool game.

after you slash with your katana, don't swing through, stop.  it keeps it from getting caught in walls during important fights, can't you imagine your embarrassment in a post apocalyptic bar when you cut some guys head off and then the sword gets caught.

yeah, this update sucks *yawn*

Should I get Bulder's Gate or Everquest?  E-mail me (address above) and tell me what you think

Fixed the Stories link.  Geocities sucks! and now that they've merged with yahoo, who also sucks, they are twice as bad.  Another example of the above situation.  Why do companies that suck and make retarded useless products do really well?  I mean, microsoft, AOL, Geocities, Yahoo, all turn out products that are so horrible as to be ignored by anyone who knows anything (cept microsoft, they have that whole monopoly thing going for them).  It's like the hacker's in highschool who use AOL on Macs, and everything things they're leet, or whatever the correct term is.  Yes that was a shot at someone I know.

Sorry about the long delay of updates.  I got a new computer with grad money, as my pent 120 was fast becoming obsolete.
I've named this fearsome machine of quickness "Jubei the adunai computer"
My new specs:
amdk6:2 475
128 megs of RAM
10 Gig hard drive
8 meg videocard
40x CD-Rom
17 inch moniter

I've been playing Total Anhilation:Kingdoms, it's groovy.

Conesville, a sinful little souther iowa town, had just been "cleaned up" by an evangelist.  Made reckless by success, the evagelist processed to tackle the nearby hamlet of Oakland. But here he caught a tartar.  The Oaklandites absolutely refused to warm to his pleadings.  In desperation he launched a blow at their civic pride.
"Shame on you old sinners," he cried, to let your sister village to get ahead of you!  Why we've got the devil driven clean out of Conesville!"
There was a momentary silence. Then an old sinner on the front seat drawled out as he stroked his beard: "Don't you worry, he'll be back."

Which brings me to my next issue of context.  I, like most of you, am extremely jaded.  It takes something truly severely fucked up to bring a reaction out of me.  I believe then that for stimulus, we need a page based purely on horrific, utterly wrong shock based media.  This will be the part of my page, that, precluded with numerous disclaimers and warnings, will deliver whatever my brain can create, unfiltered my my own morality, my own beliefs or the society around us.  This will not be a page for most of you.  It will not be a page for the weak of heart.  It will be for those of you who laughed along with me when I saw that video about Budd Dwyer.  It will be for those of you who don't get that chuckle from the irony of life anymore and need something with true gumf.  It will be a slow process.  But I plan to bring this future section of my page straight to the darkest pits of hell.  Starting with me making fun of  common bumper stickers.  Does this sound good to you? well, i'll be damned if I let anyone see this stuff, wouldn't want innocent children running around and accidentally finding things that will destroy them for life.
if you want access to this dark, evil page, a simple e-mail will suffice, and I will give you the URL.
E-mail me:  Iwantintotheshockpage@adunai.iwarp.com

I bought Jesse Ventura's book yesterday and have been reading it, it's pretty good.  I believe his way is the way to lead america back into being the one we all know of in our hopes, not this nightmare that has arisen in the practice.  2 Party systems are evil.  Not now, but someday I will put a different quote from his book every other day.

By the way..
Mahow Mahow won the first battle in the Combat section, and Jar Jar Binks won the second one.  Hail to the winners!!! The next combat round will be up as soon as I get around to it.

The guybrush page hasn't grown at all because my monkey island 2 CD is scfratched and unplayeable, once I get a replacement, I will keep going with helpful advice.

<brain quiver's evilly as I head back to my tomb>

I'm also going to produce a movie.  The script/plot/story I'm still working out, but if anyone wants to help, i will need technical, monetary, writing, and actors assistance.   It's basically a physchological sci-fi with a little bit of violence.  It'll be good.

Also, apparently the Spell Jammin Ram has iniatiated some sort of war against another site, (www.themushroom.com) whatever, stupid 7th dimensional space demi-god.  We'll keep you posted.

by the way, I probably have a job now, I'm a sell out.

• George Schwartz, owner of a factory in Providence, R.I., narrowly escaped death when a 1983 blast flattened his factory except for one wall. After treatment for minor injuries, he returned to the scene to search for files. The remaining wall then collapsed on him, killing him.
• A man hit by a car in New York in 1977 got up uninjured, but laid back down in front of the car when a bystander told him to pretend he was hurt so he could collect insurance money. The car rolled forward and crushed him to death.
• Jacob Oellig, who attempted suicide by setting himself afire, drowned when he leaped into a pond to quell the pain from burns, officals said.

 Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt
 Candidate B is Winston Churchill
 Candidate C is Adolph Hitler

Problems are easily solved.  We are hanging from a rope with infinity on all sides of us, and we are holding tight, we are holding unto everything in our past, but to move forward, we have to let go, and fall into the unknown.

Outside looks depend entirely on how one presents themselves and thinks of themselves.  I didn't believe this until I met a man that I believed was very sad, very unsure of himself, and presented himself accordingly.  About half way through the conversation, I realized the guy looked just like Mel Gibson, who although I have no opinion on the subject, women adore.  Which means if this guy would clean up and be assured of himself, and present himself as such, women would be all over him.  I don't know, remember this is the ramblings of a mad man.

Sheep/Shepard/Wolf scenario:
Jesus christ was the shepard leading the sheep away from the wolves.  Slowly, there were wolves in sheeps clothing pretending to be sheep following the herd and killing as they went.  Slowly more and more wolves came so his entire flock was filled with wolves.  He saw this, and left the snarling beasts pretending to be sheep to eat each other.  However, there are sheep left, and they are amidst the chaos of wolves eating wolves, (Dog eats Dog) and it is the job of the shepards to save them and make a new flock.  I believe I am a new shepard.  I believe the so-called christians are generally wolves in sheeps clothing.  I believe Jesus Christ is my brother.  Church is evil.  It is corrupted.  Long live the new flesh.

The best way to fight is not be where the enemy can attack.  The best defense is to defend where it cannot be attacked, and the best offense is to attack where it cannot be defended.  If you can't beat them join them.  That statement is so profound I cannot express the true meaning in mere words I just hope you can find it yourself.  The best way to fight a circle is with a straight line.  The best way to fight a straight line is with a circle.

May the adunai lead us to salvation.

if any of you wonder if I'm afraid to put my address up on the internet, I'm not.

One thing I learned while I was at prom was that I actually an ok dancer.  I figured out my problem.  See, most peoples heart beats go "thump, thump, thump" in a pretty organized, binary pattern.  However, mine beats to the little spanish flea theme, whichs causes my internal rythm to be all off.  So now instead of dancing to the beat, I dance to my own, and I actually end up not being to bad.

I have finally finalized the name of my shaolin ninja nihilist dynamic paladin zealot monks.  We are called the adunai, the people of the new flesh.  All will fear us.    You have to be adunai to become adunai.

"A mind is a terrible thing to taste," Daryl Kingsmen, a recent patient at Bob Parker's Center for zombie rehabilition was quoted as saying.  The center picked him up when his neighbor, Jon Arbuckle, reported his ghastly devouring of his family.  "I just did what any good, church going citizen would have done.  I couldn't hear the TV over all that screaming"  He's reported saying.  Jon was wearing a "I hate zombies" t-shirt at the time of the interview.

My girlfriend Meg and I called 411 and asked them the secret of life.  In response, we got an evil sounding woman, who said this:  "This is directory assistance sir, we look up numbers, I don't have time to play games."
heh... I guess you would have had to been there.

So you notice no new title.  Delayed by quality control man "Buzz" the new release date will be shown when we know it's ready.

If I were to hold a beauty contest, it is obvious Meg Thiel would come easily in first.  But a not as close as one would expect second is star wars star Natalie Portman, who played Amadala in the new movie.  See her pic  Here .

Fat People in funny hats, what could be better? The answer is a samarai midgit named Mahow Mahow.  Trained in Shaolin Chuan Fa, master Mahow Mahow successfully extrapolated the lost 5 death arts from pinan one and and the south side of 2 man fist set.  (if you don't get that, it's ok, euthanasia isn't here yet, BUT it's coming).
When asked in an interview, Mahow replied, "voy a matarte, liberate tute me." He later went on to mak the sign of the beast , slowly chanting "Long live the new flesh"  Whether or not her will -as- expected become the next Kefka is yet to be seen.  Those kooky midgits, what will they think of next.? In my humble opinion, the light of judgement.
-Atrix

Our next releases will be titled: Give me my giant zipper back, hairboy.
                                               Jesus was a nihilist
                                               Get out of my way cushion boy
                                               You should all be wearing velcro shoes
                                               Don't throw nickels at me when I'm riding my bike from your car
                                               Symphony of the Ninja

Tomarrow, the page title will be unrevealed.  ::Drum roll please::

The first game for the Arcade Supreme will be 'Life' it will start with just a black screen, and people will think that it is broken, but slowly as they get frusterated and hit the keys randomly in succession, it will slowly fade into existance, where you are a being, suspended in an infinite void, and you move around, and learn how to control yourself, and gradually you find out how to move through the world and it gets bigger, but then you learn that is just small.  There is no way to win, and the only point of the game is to play.  8 Bit games rule!

Life a big train, and people get on, and they get off when they have reached their destination, and you wave good bye to them as you pass them.  It is sad to see friends go, and sometimes, when they get off that train, you don't even meet them up later.  It is important to remember the good times, and keep going.  You're fortunate if you find a person to stay with you the whole trip.  I think my train falls off a cliff.  Muhaha.  Anyways, for everyone that have lost their way and aren't on the train with me, good luck with your lives, and I wish you happiness.  I'm a sap.

here is my feelings about Jesus Christ: (the last time I ever say anything religious on this page)
he is the pillar of truth, he has the courage we lack to remain true to his ideals, and never compromise and never sell out.  He is the kind of person who forgives people no matter what they do.  He is the ultimate nihilist, he is the model for everyone to take themselves after, to resist tempation and never sell out.  Whether he exists or not is arbitrary to me, it's his image that is whats important, and it's his image that I think the christians and catholics of today have lost.  he takes the blame for everything, he is the guy who looks at the shit that happens, and says 'this all isn't entirely my fault, but I will bite the bullet and take the blame.  He forgives us because he is the one that takes the blame, he takes other's blame.  Whether he existed or not is irrellevent, it's the idea of who he is, the perfect man, that is whats important.

In 5 days, I will unviel the official title of this page.  You will all be excited.  The NPC's Will dance.

I have now become a remort avatar in real life, giving me infinite rule over all npc's in this mud we call life. so there!

Hmmmmmmmm, I had something to say earlier, but oh well, maybe I'll do an update later.

Tomarrow is Cinco de Mayo.  This is important for two reasons, first, I finallyt get unbanned from gemstone, and secondly, nostradamus (who predicted everything with fair accurasy) predicts it will be the end of the world.  So dance away my friends.

I figured out why I don't eat pork.  Here is an interview:
Cyandraa: why wouldn't you eat pork?
Jaevin: it is sick
Cyandraa: why?
Cyandraa: are you a vegetarian?
Jaevin: no
Cyandraa: ok...why is it sick?
Jaevin: it's a pig, they roll around in shit and mud all day, there skin is rubbery and pink, they get sunburned, it's like eating a fat, underbathed pink human.  Like a redneck.

Join the Order of Nihilists that I have started, apply now and get a free high rank in the secret society!

On a serious note (for reals) I've written my final thought on school shootings,   click here

School system's motto: Just because people can't speak the language, doesn't mean they should pass anyways, you pass because you tried hard even though you don't speak english. Who cares if you don't know who the fuck george washington is, this is the only way we can make sure we are pollititcally correct, this is america, everyone is equal, and we should crucify anyone who says different, because they are racist.  Who cares if you instantly can grasp every concept we give you, you must do 12 years of homework so that you can memorize them, not just understand the very basis of the concepts given.  And go to church.

I got a letter from an inmate!  Yes, I have joined a list of penpals who write to female inmates.  She sounds like she got a bum wrap, of course.  Anyways, I hope they don't come after me when they get out, that would suck.  She told me to send a picture of myself.

I will be setting up a movie review page, so if you have any good movies that should be reviewed, tell me.

Censorship is important in such a way that it can stop propaganda, and stop people from seeing things they don't want to.  When is consorship allowed? When the message can be said in such a way that is understood the same without hurting people, there is no reason for censorship.  Commonsense and respect should take the place of censorship. Well, live and learn.

Ah, let us now discuss the situation wedsnday where 2 highschool students in trenchcoats attacked their school to get their revenge on their oppressors.  Lets discuss this.  Kids make their lives a living hell, they can't fit in, they can't make friends, they feel angry when they see other people laughing.  Is this wrong? Who made people this way? What is the solution? Well, it is if they take guns and shoot people to try to make things right, then this world is a pretty sorry place.  I mean, I can see their reasoning, but in all honesty, it gets us no where, and just hurts a lot of people, and ruins a lot of lives. Of course, continuing the policy of survival of the fittest, the two shot themselves.  Combining this and the fact that 90% of their bombs didn't work, these kids weren't that brilliant.  Stupider yet, is all the families of the victims and the media trying to blame video games like FF7.  Yeah.  Whatever guys.  Why don't we just blame everything on video games and that way we can just pretend like nothing is wrong.  Also, the maker's of the movie "The Basketball Diaries" are offering refunds to everyone who sends back that movie.  Why? because Leonardo Dicraprio wore a trenchcoat and killed people at school.  Yeah, that must be the 'Trenchcoat Mafia's' inspiration.  It is the ambition of all teenage outcasts to be just like that teen idol.  Or we could just kill ourselves.

Everyone can rejoice, this friday, I have purchased a new Poncho since the other two I've had are MIA.  Along with Poncho, I have a new party member Remo the Wizard, given to me by Ninja Princess Nicole.  Remo, despite being a wine fan, is not gay.

Bored while being a passenger in a car?  It all started with me waving at people with my girlfriends 'Grover' beanie baby, and having them wave back. This trend has spread with a compulsion to get fellow drivers response to cute characters dancing from inside the car.  So far the oddest response of all was a japanese guy, in a honda, skinny and looking like a f*cked up siamese cat letting go oh the wheel to press his face against the window.  I'm not quite sure how to explain it, but it was about the weirdest thing I've ever seen, and thats saying something.  Maybe he was high...

In my continued attempt to bring down the government, I'm going to start campaining for  Dan Quayle

I'm a porn star certified stud:  Click Here

I come up with lots of good stuff to share with you mooks, but I always forget it.

I've just been notified that I've called you mooks two days in a row.  Good.

Ziggy has gone to the pits of comic hell alongside Peanuts.  Click Here and find the Ziggy e-mail address and tell him to stop being so god damn fruity.  E-mail me what you wrote, and you could become a winner! Huzah!

I watched a couple episodes of the Andy Griffith show, and I believe it has some good wisdom in it.  In todays, we learned that authority is bad, and to just defy them and do your own thing if it works.

19 year old christian chicks came to my door today to pass out christian literature, they started out with their normal spleel which I sorta payed attention to, and then they started flirting with me.  I find this kind of odd, becuase what the hell? they come to my house, try to force their religion on me, and then pick up on me.  Sheesh.  Women.
OH! I forgot to mention to them, and you, that yesterday 4/13/99 I was ordained a minister.  Need proof? gohere

We are adding a section on the page in the form of political critism written by my good friend pike.  As the russians learned long ago, the only thing worthwhile is to jeer at everything.  That was before communism of course, which is beside the point.
 Pike's Column

There is a company blacklist page now at the Corporate Espionage list

This page has a new system, each days news will be sepperated out by spacers.  There will be a code for how it will be set up daily. Here is the legend
*Update* - means the page has been changed, new formats, new pages.
*NEW* - means a new page has been added (ie New art, new stories, new Q/A)
*Links* - means there has been a new link added.

Bored? Goto  www.Bored.com  where there are links to many exciting web pages.  Take the densa tests, and I'll put the results up on a page, just e-mail how many you got right.  In case you're wondering I got 11.  I missed the damn pill question, oh well.

To learn about the threat of an assult upon the earth from miniature creatures read this warning.

Many Scientists and morons think that rock formations on Mars are messages to anyone who happens by, written by the
evidently extict Martians.  These wild speculations came to a head tonight when this picture was sent from the Mars mission

When I saw this, I was shocked, so I went to NASA for information.  They would not reply, so I asked my cousin, and he is
reported to say "The people on mars were obvioly intelgent enough to relize that in genral earthlings would be better off if they all
commited suside and what seems to be a hostle message may in fact have been a final pearl of wisdom before they died out.
That or there is an insane vanilditc bent alien on the loose"