Older stuff..

Well, it's the new year, and the new millenium.
you say this to some people, and they reply with "the real millenium doesn't start till next year"
well see, thats not the point.  I think what happened was that they were trying to think up a cool way of saying "the year 2000" so someone decided on millenium.  Of course, people who like to get the upper hand on other people (like me, occasionally) noticed or heard that the "real" millenium doesn't start till the next year.  <shrug> come on.  (I apologize to those of my friends that were included in this train of though).

Anyways, happy new years to you all.

                                  Three Barflies...Literally

                  An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman decide to take in a pint of their
                  favorites at the old Crook & Flail, their favorite watering hole. Each settles in
                  at the bar with his beer when a strange thing happens: by sheer coincidence
                  (the kind of coincidence that only exists in rotten jokes like this one) three
                  flies collide in mid-air above the bar, and one falls into each of the men's

                  The Englishman looks at the fly in his beer, shows it to the bartender, and
                  asks for a replacement of his ale. He gets a new one.

                  The Scotsman looks at the fly in his beer, flicks it out onto the bar, squashes
                  it, and drinks the beer down in one gulp.

                  The Irishman looks at the fly in his beer, fishes him out, holds him up, looks
                  him in the eye, and screams, "SPIT IT OUT, Y'BASTARD!!"

The voluntary incision of one's flesh with the intent to rewire it for digital function results in a body which is refigured. If the word 'disfigure' can be said to represent a form of destructive nihilism as applied here to human skin and tissue, then 'refigure' could be the word for constructive nihilism in the same context; this is nihilism which seeks to destroy in order to create.

Revaluation of all values : this is my formula for an act of supreme coming-to-oneself on the part of mankind which in me has become flesh and genius....
-and he who wants to be a creator in good and evil has first to be a destroyer and break values.

Thus the greatest evil belongs with the greatest good: this, however, is the creative good.

Nietzsche, Friedrich W., Ecce Homo, London: Penguin Books, 1988, pp. 126-127

Sure people are stupid about "Y2K", but that doesn't mean i'm not hoping for the apocolypse anyways!!!

...So the Adunai trail to terrapin led them into the dark swamp.  The berzerker was the first one to enter and the first one to be lost.  The swamp's wickedness did not come from it's size for it was a small swamp, but from it's ability to turn all who enters strength's into weaknesses.  When the berzerk had first entered, the forest had felt him, and felt his ferociousness, and felt his strength.  But it was not afraid.  It quickly began to grow vine after dark and twisted vine.  Soon they began to creep and wither along the berzerks legs, and he slashed at them while he laughed and howled. The further he went into the darkness and mugginess of the swamp, the vines got stronger, and more prickly, and while the berzerker was quite strong and brave indeed, his stamina quickly wore thin, and as the vines slowly tightened around his ankles and legs, he became less and less gruff with his attacks, and soon, his blade had slipped from his hand altogether, and the weeds had enveloped him fully.  He had been encased into the swamp like a thousand before him.

The Paladin saw this scene and lowered his head in sorrow.  He went next, knowing his fate was to be the same, yet, having the glimmer of hope that he would succeed.  His blade glimmered against the august sun as he raised it into the air, and began his trek into the darkened forests.  At first he had been sure that the path would be an easy one, because though the berzerkers blade was quickly caught in the thick fleshy vines, the Paladin's sword sliced through it as though it were nothing.   He quickly transversed the first half of the forest until he came upon a mighty tree.  The tree was no ordinary tree, for it was the "Withering Tree" and it was one of the ancient race of trees, when all creatures and living beings of earth could communicate with one another.  It spoke:
"Imbedded in me is a sword that was placed long ago by a true Crusader of the Adunai.  It was pierced into me when i was a sapling, for a true adunai master to find, but that was thousands of years ago, and my bark has long since covered the hilt.  Should you be a true and worthy Knight, you may climb into my womb and retrieve the great sword."
And so entranced was the Paladin at finding a true adunai sword, that he quickly believed the ancient tree's lies, and crawled into it's nest, where it quickly grew around him and trapped him.heh:D

The Ninja watched this happen, and laughed.  Not because of the Paladin's folly, but because of how easy it would be for him to save his true comrades and get through this dangerous swamp.  He quickly drew his blade and ran into the forest.  He bobbed and weaved his way through the darkness, the slashing vines, and the warped weeds.  His blade flashed and easily whipped against the thorns and leaves, and he was not captured.  Soon he had reached the place where the Paladin was entrapped.  He drew his dagger, and slashed against the wood that had captured his friend so tightly.  However, the Paladin was too deeply entrenched.  Each slash did nothing to lessen the strength of the trap the Paladin was trapped in.  Next the Ninja went to the berzerker, surely when he freed the berzerker, the Paladin would be easy to free.  However he found that the berzerker was just as strongly entrenched into his niche.  After hours at futily trying to free either of his compatriots, he gave up his efforts and sunk into his own swampy trap, where he quickly was enraptured by the swamp.
  A while back, Burger King, in hopes that they could ride the success of Pokémon and the then-upcoming release of Pokémon: The First Movie, they decided to market, with each child's meal, one Pokémon toy in a Pokéball.

   The toys were wildly popular, until today. Burger King announced a recall on the toys, proclaiming that they represented a suffocation hazard to little children. The threat was realized when a 13-month old child sucked on half of the ball. The suction created a vacuum, and the unfortunate child died.

    Parents are advised to either destroy the balls or return them to Burger King for a small order of fries.

by Matthew Prince 
Source: Game Informer 


no update today
merry christmas, or kwansa, or whatever
(conversation page updated)

Tommarrow is Christmas Eve.

work all night, deal with nihilism all day, there ain't no rest for the adunai.

depression is just childhood without freedom
apathy  is just depression without sadness
depression is just nihilism without humor
nihilism is just adunai without a katana. or dex

I am a submarine.  Everything i learned about anything i learned from submarine warfare. I cruise the waters in search of friendly and enemy bogies, slowly transversing deep in the water.  To communicate without the use of radio (which would give away my possition) i ping, and hope the echo's ping back, letting me know, friend or foe.  Yes, i am a submarine.  Deep deep in the water, lost, on a mission to oblivion.  Where's the cavalry?

la tele la tele

it's my brother's x-mas vacation, so we're sleeping in.  Ignore all this, because I'm asleep when i'm writing this.

Sometimes, in the darkest times, i think that loud german punk music is the only thing that can provide peace to me.
othertimes, i think i'm a crazy fool.

my turtles still alive.
I have to go to work at 3.
<insert comment here>

I am transversing through a particulalry dark and deep trench right now.
no response.

<turns on Wizo, puts on headphones>

I went christmas shopping today, and also, i went to work

after work, i went to denny's with Maureen (Mo, which coincidently is the 42nd element.) and her friend and Joe, and some old man was drunk outside and a bunch of tough college guys started beating him up. It was pretty bad so i went and broke up the fight, and took the old man outside.  Why do people think that violence solves anything?  I think it is because they are stupid.

New defininitions for the adunai:
we are the lost children
we are the ancient ones
we are the forgotten
we are the chosen ones.

Well, i actually got three e-mails from the little survey i asked on 12.16.99, so i guess i'm not entirely hated :)

My little turtle still isn't eating.
i called the pet shop, and talked with the owner. I told him it wouldn't eat, and i was trying to do everything i could to make it happy.
i told him i was worried that it wasn't eating.
he kept reiterating that they would stand by the purchase, and if it died, he'd replace it.

he misses the point entirely.

i've been informed by outside sources that tonight is terripin thursday.
what does that mean? i don't know.  maybe nothing.  maybe something.

Jaevin: 12 goldfish enter, 1 turtle leave
Sita Cia: ??
Sita Cia: i don't get it
Jaevin: i know you dont
Sita Cia: do you plan to explain?
Jaevin: well
Jaevin: i love all the gold fish
Jaevin: i put them in the tank
Jaevin: and the turtle eats them when i'm asleep
Sita Cia: lol
Jaevin: all my friends are gold fish
Jaevin: you put them in the tank
Jaevin: and they all get eaten
Sita Cia: so don't put them in the tank
Jaevin: you'd think i'd learn that wouldnt you?
Jaevin: but you see
Jaevin: gold fish live by themselves fine
Jaevin: but i get gold fish, and they die
Jaevin: unless i put them in with the turtle
Sita Cia: then they get eaten
Sita Cia: and die anyway
Jaevin: well my new turtle doesn't eat at all
Sita Cia: why not?
Jaevin: he's not hungry

Also if you remotely care for me whatsoever, like even in the slightest, e-mail me  herebecause frankely, i doubt anyone does.

I will never be a british popstar, coming out to a roaring crowd, with the union jack waving proudly, and the mic echoing my voice across the expanse of the arena.  No, i will never be a british popstar.

My turtle is still alive, and i've constructed a wicked tank from pure chi.  Just kidding, here is how i actually appropriated the equipment for the fish tank, it's in the form of a shakespearean play:
<enter Eric and james at the pet shop>
Eric: look here, gentle giant, for we two friends of truth have entered yonder petshop to find cool stuff for me turtle, what say you?
James: <grunt> looks good.
Eric: hey look, here are rocks, which have seen no equal in 1000 pet shops, these are truly worthy pebbles.
James: aye.
Eric: and here, behold, is a sand fountain, it's shaped like a gargoil, and costs only 10 dollars on clearence from 30 dollars.
James: well then, let us depart.
<walks to front of store>
Eric: hello shopkeep, we have brought these items to make a purchase in your establishment.
<shop keeper rings up things>
Shop Keeper: the cost of your carefully selected pet supplies will be 35 dollars.
Eric: 35 dollars? hmm.  there appears to be a mistake, the gargoil is on clearence for 10 dollars.
Shop keeper: what? $1.99?
Eric: $10.00
Shopkeeper: $1.99
Eric: ahh, sodeska, very well good sir, thank ye.

and so thats it.  I'm sorry for this incredibly stupid diologue, honestly, you should have just skipped it (assuming you didn't)

anyways, more later this week!!

whats this? you want beef?

I've discovered my happiness is directly linked to my ownership of turtles.  I was happy when i had my first turtle, and then one summer we put it outside and it died.  I went into a deep depression after this, and i thought it was because my girlfriend had broken up with me!!!  then we got new turtles, and all was well for awile , but then my dad moved and i no longer had turtles!  This all coincided with another resent break up, so once again, i thought it was girls who were tearing me up inside.  but no, it wasn't, it was my lack of shelled reptile pet ownershiphood.  Well, my friends, i now have a turtle again, so watch out :)

Well my friends, allow me to show you the newest addition to the adunai family:
thats right, we found the infinity turtle-

HELP ME NAME MY TURTLE:  send suggestions to my e-mail address, or better yet, POST THEM ON MY MESSAGE BOARD.  everyone who gives me suggestions get to go on the winners page (under info)

also i made a little picture of matthew:
 .Matthew as the caterpiller


I don't know the original meaning to that line on the daily quote, its from the grateful dead song "terripin station" but to me, it's always held a bit of mysticism and i always sort of evisioned a group of wary travelers trying to make it to the promised land, that which is called "terripin"

if there's any time to make the voyage, it's that time now.

i won't be broken.

right about now, i'm a funk soul brother
and in light of that revelation, I declare tomarrow:
what does this mean?
allow me to explain.
tomarrow, all adunai get extra bonus luck in whatever they try.

I know most of you are skeptical, but have faith, for the adunai path is the path to truth and freedom, so tommarrow, stick it to god and whoever else has been knockin you around, you'll feel much better.

What manner of nihilistic mysticism is this?

I just returned from Ohio where i was visiting my dad and sister, it was nice back there. anyways, back to the update..

"Slow and steady wins the race" this my friends, is pretty much a lie, i mean the entire story is just stupid.   The reason the tortoise won the race was becasue the rabbit he waqs racing against was just blatantly stupid.  I mean, the rabbit should have easily won.  So really, i don't like that story.

...Number 9, number 9, number 9, number 9, number 9...

I found out that tums is the wonder drug, yessiree, it is perfect, it is truly the second adunai elixer, the first, of course, being cough syrup.  Cheers!

Airplanes suck for one major reason: there is no room.  You're forced into a tight little area with no ability to move, next to some weird freak of a person next to you.  It's hard enough to change CD's in the CD player, let alone try to write or maybe move your legs so they don't go numb from lack of circulation.  Anyways, there's no point to this other then i hate airplane rides.

thats all for today, i'm sorry.

I took them back.  It was a great and epic theivery mission, but i stole them back, anf earned a new nickname!! but i forget what it is now.

conversation page is updated.

A man came to the door and knocked.  I was in bed, I ignored it, I figured if it was anyone i knew, they'd just come in.  Course, he kept knocking, so i went to the door.  There was a man, handing out pamphlets and advocating and taking a consensus, on the subject of gay marriages.   The bill is called "Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California."  He asked if he could count on my vote to pass this bill.  I told him I was undecided.  Why? Because i think it's a touchy issue, and there are valid arguements on both sides.  I mean, i see the problems with same sex marriages in the same way that i see problems with everything that goes against the standard recognized norm.  People are idiots and they can't accept change.  Maybe it's for the best, because while i have been accused of being a conservative on this webpage, it's not that i don't want change, it's just that i like somethings the way they are.  The problem with gay marriages is not that they shouldn't have the right to be married, because they should, they should have every right to their pursuit of happiness as everyone else, but the side effects are the problems.  By making gay marriages legal, that makes the acceptance of gay society in mainstream culture.  Is this a bad thing?  I don'tr know.  It could be though.  I believe homosexuality is a product of the envirement they were raised in and the society they live in, as well as the genetic factor, and maybe by bringing homosexual culture to the front of civilization, it might make a lot more little homosexuals, that are all confused, lost, and unhappy.  It's perpetuating the problem, and it's making things much much more complicated.  So while on one hand i believe they should have the right to marry and live as any heterosexual couple, I also am wary of the social impacts something like this might have.  Society is spiraling downward, we can't stop the inevitable, only delay it.

What logic am i using?  Just recognize the latest social trends of our culture, and you'll see that we are collapsing around ourselves.  This has happened before in thousands of social groups before us, but never so fast.  The reason our society isn't going to last as long as say, ancient Rome, is becuase technology.  We live in a fast paced world of cars and cellphones, communication and vehicles allow the quick and rapid production and transit of new ideas, which makes the corruption not worse, but faster.

But who am I to judge? eric,  i am eric I get to judge.  just kidding.  maybe.

heh.  God took away my powers of luck!!! thats ok, i'll win anyways.

In a dream, Sanford from Sanford and son told me a very important message, but i forget it.

Well friends, i am truly screwed.  To summerize:
My life up to yesterday had been pretty fucked up, I had already been pretty low.  I had gone through a whole lot of shit in my life, and up to yesterday, i had this:
3 comrades
my brother
my cousin
a broken car
a katana
and a gold fish
I once had a lot of things, i once had people who loved me, i once had a girlfriend, i once had a future, but now, it seems that i have lost it all.
All of it.  I don't even get the dignity of having it taken from me, it left on it's own accord, or i drove it away.  I look at all these people i once shared my life and love with, and they are gone.  None of them talk to me, none of them care, and it doesn't even matter.  I could point out things, i could plead for them to at least throw me a line every once in awile, but i've come to the conclussion that if they want to pretend like I don't exist, if they want to just forget about me, fine, one less problem i have to deal with. not even my Goldfish  loves me, think about it, they have a 3 second memory, it doesn't even know who i am.  It's just pathetic.  I don't even exactly know how it happened, one second i was happy, and ready to take on life, the next, i'm down and out. That was yesterday.
Now God has decided to kick me while i'm down, and now, all those problems seem like nothing to the trials that face me now:

My ticket, which i recieved for driving without a liscence (even though i had one) then lied to about (he said i could get it signed off, but then marked on the ticket that i couldn't) has really really left me fucked over.  I tried about 6 times to handle it, but becuase of the arbitrary nature of the ticket, it just kinda had a way of slipping through my abilities to handle, and regardless, the bottomline is that i've now fucked myself over.  My ticket bail is now 617 dollars.  I don't know how to deal with this, i'm gonna get all the DMV stuff, and do all i can, but basically, i'm just screwed.

My car threw a rod, which means i have no way to work, which is in irvine.  I was planning on saving up and getting a car, but alas, our tyrannical government of evil has deamed me unworthy of "life liberty and the persuit of happiness" so all my money will now be going to uncle sam, and maybe if i'm lucky that'll keep me out of jail.

Uh, suddenly, this bitch session has lost it's momentum and i no longer feel compelled to go on about all this bullshit, because it's just bringing me down.  Therefore I will make my closing arguement:
Yesterday i saw a rat dead in the road.  It's poor life was filled with hiding in our trash looking for food.  It didn't want to be vermin, i never wanted to be a pest, all it wanted was food and warmth, and maybe some female rat friend, and it would be happy.  But we hate them, we hate rats.  I don't know why we do, i guess it's because they annoy us, so we try to poisen them and kill them.  This particular rat was a smart one, he avoided rat traps or poisened cheese, but he wasn't smart enough.  Because he was running accross the street and got ran over.  Who cares about a dead rat?  It lived it's life hated, hunted, cold, it was an unhappy rat, now it is dead, without anyones remorse.  It doesn't even get the dignity of pity.  It doesn't even get buried.  No one cares.

and in the end, i am left a defeated man.
I went down...




the reason i don't update more is because i'm  a quality fiend, and actually most of the stuff i put up is trash.

*** Now talking in #poetry(3:18 AM, TUESDAY)
<Jaevin> please
<Jaevin> let someone be here
* Jaevin begs on his knees
* Jaevin looks around
* Jaevin stands up
* Jaevin shakes his fist at god
* Jaevin moves on
<Jaevin> the end!
<Jaevin> wow
<Jaevin> poetry in action
<Jaevin> now lets all thank the poet for putting up with massive amounts of chaotic emotions and nihilism for that one
* Jaevin bows
* Jaevin bows
* Jaevin parts in a swan dive to the next dimension... happy landing!

is nothing perfect?
i made a god
out of blood
not superiority
i killed the king
of deceit
wake me up in anacrchy
i made a god
out out of love
not absolute purity
i kissed the queen
of the truth
wake me up in anarchy.

There's always messiage deluxe, band of insanity, musicians of the future, creators of a new, more chaotic tomarrow.  click on the music link to find the 2 new mp3's ready for posting, feel the force or raw adunai insanity unleashed.  Actually, download a couple mp3's i recorded, in the hopes of making you happy.

i've been hard at work here at the adunai factory making pokemon cards.  actually, i spent half an hour on this last night.  the rest of the time i was slacking off doing things like watching my car engine blow up and fighting off hordes of brain eating girls.
anyways, here's is the first fruit of my labor:

it is resistent against all the other poke-elements, but is weak against those of the feminine persuasion (cept fruits and such) also his retreat cost is so high he never retreats.

also, look at what else i found (damn this is a pretty self centered update, good thing this is my webpage and no one is here to regulate me)

thats right.  all your problems are solved.  cept you're going to have a lot more new ones. <sigh> more tomarrow, I promise, also i promise it'll be better.

There are four germans: Hans, Fritz, Gunter, and Karl.  They can be applied to every situation, and they should be your spiritual advisers.  here is a quick personality break down of each one
Gunter: bravo, tough guy, who despises weakness.  Bestfriends with Fritz
Fritz: the small, skinny, weak one of the group.  He is into the intracicies of life.
Hans: A happy man who is both intelligent and wealthy.  His face is slightly odd looking.
Karl: the philosophical one, as well as the mechanical genius, he is very quiet.

what is the meaning of all this?  I think you forgot the theme of this webpage: Blatant nihilism.

I've updated shaolin master Mu Tzu's webpage, click  here  to view it.

also the zen page has been slightly updated.
There are a few more conversations on the conversations page.
I added a bunch to the ME section, mostly for Corrie to read.
thats it.
Lets see...

oops, looks like we're out of time, goodnight folks!
wait.. i have one more thing to tell you:
the point of the adunai group is to get things for my webpage, the point of my webpage is to get me girls, the point of getting girls is to cover up homosexuality, even though i am so obviously and blatantly not gay.  what a joke, where's a oven?


all i have to say is yesterday i had to give a debate in which i had to roleplay as a 1830's women's lib chick, and i busted out and my team won.

Happy Holloween!!!!!!!!!
E-mail me and tell me what you were and send me pics of you in your costume and i'll make a webpage showing off everyone, maybe, if i feel like it i will.

here's a picture for a story i'm writing, it's in the works right now, i'll share it with you all later.  Also i'm starting filming of the adunai movie today.  It'll be cool..

Don't buy retreaded tires straight from mexico, because, they fall apart while driving on the freeway.  I know this from personal experience.

Go see House on Haunted Hill it's very very cool.  The atmosphere is beautiful, it's one of the truly scary movies i've seen, it's very surreal.

I got two new goldfish, one of them didn't have a mouth though, so it died, the other one is still alive but i'm waiting a week before giving it a name so i don't get emotionally attached to it and then it dies.

The pirate flag flies at half mast today.
The kings among Goldfish, Eidtz and Silver, have gone to a heroes death, and now they sit amongst brothers in Valhalla.
The exact reasons behind there death are a mystery.  I suspect foul sorcerery seeing as I FOUND SILVER  IN MY SHOE.
Anyways, i'm going to go get new gold fish i guess, anyone have any sugestions as to how i can use garlic or something to keep these ones safe from death.


Today I purchased two goldfish, a big white one, and a little silver one.  The big white one is named silver, and the little silver one is named Eidtz.   Eidtz is my favorite.  One time I had the sensation of what it was like to be a fish, and it was really horrible, because it was so dark, and i was alone and paranoid of predators.  It was such a bad sensation that I vowed that day forward to kill every fish i saw.  Of course, the "come on" factor kicked in, and i submitted to the idea of not killing fish.  Anyways, much like Shindler with his list, i have decided to save a few chosen fish and give them a place of peace away from evil.


I built a webpage based on the movie Gummo.  It had all the requirements of a true classic: kids in bunny costumes, gay black midgits, dead cats, red necks, and arm wrestling.  If you want to see the page, click here


This is the man in black, Johnny Cash.  I don't know if I spelled his name right, and i bet he wouldn't mind if I didn't, cause he's the man.  Say all you want about Country music, seriously, cause i hate it at least as much as the next man, but Johnny Cash is still the man.  There's no point to this, I just liked the picture, just thought i'd share.

I ran out of gas yesterday picking up my brother from school.  The reasons were, i was running late for school, thought i had enough gas to make it to his school and home then back to college.  I was wrong.  I was facing up a hill with a bus behind me when the adunai pirate car of death conked out.  But you have to remember who this is driving.  I wave back to he berzerker pirate looking guy driving the school bus behind me, and he nods, gives me the thumbs up, and goes around.  I put my car in reverse, roll it back turning the tires so i am perpendicular to the side walk across the road.  Then I push it forward, so i am facing down the road with traffic.  I then coasted down to the gas station and used 95 cents to fill up enough for me to look for my brother.  Of course, he was waiting at home, because my grandma forgot that i was supposed to pick him up.  Then I was late for school.  It's not that i don't do stupid things, it's just that I can get out of em myself :)

I have 3 goals for this week
1) directly patch my portable CD player to my car speakers so I have something beside mexican radio music.
2) Get a job or two (prospects are looking at a Game room at wherehouse and a job selling swords at Midevil Times)
3) Obtain somehow Age of Empires 2.
I had 4, but my Gas tank is now completly filled to the top, thanks to everyone's favorite Spuzz.

There is also a small but signifigant change on the page.  It's not hidden.

I have my driver's lisence.  Yes, I should have gotten it when i was 16.  Yes, I have been driving around (with friends) a lot since i turned 18 with just my permit. Yes  I do realize the implications of me having my liscence.  No, I don't feel bad about telling people i had my liscence before I actually did.  Yes, I did say no to cover my sadness for my dececptive ways.  STOP

The Spell Jammin Ram came and left you all an allshroom:  spell jammin ram chats with depressed goth's in a poetry room

"Life is hard, the front of an oncoming train is harder" so don't jump in front of a train.

we are nihiileistssdsdds...  Uhh... We need a new word for "Nihilism" because evidently some mooks got to "nihilism" before us.  We like to call ourselves Neelists spelled nihilists, but it doesn't work any longer.  and mu-ist sounds like a cow.  So, e-mail if you know of a good label to represent an uncarved block.

Maybe there is something to underground christianity in such a way that there is something to the underground french.. hmm..

Shaolin Master Mu Tzu has decided to grace his presence on my webpage.  12 adunai points to anyone who can tell me what "Mu Tzu' means.  Mu Tzu's nihilistic ninjaistic Quotes about adunaism

"well she was an american girl"
I don't know, lately things just haven't seemed the same as before.  It's like they are missing that little twist of life that is so vital for it all to come together correctly.  Maybe it is me, maybe my outlook on life is preventing my own happiness, but i don't think so, because mostly I am in a good mood, and ready for action.  I believe it can be directly attributed by my hesistation to make new friends, and my isolationism.  I am in a rut.  It's a miserable rut, but a rut nontheless, and i'm comfortable here.  I just need a bit of chaos to knock me out of here.
"raised on the promises"
I remember a time in my life when i felt pride and honor at being american. I wasn't part of a large evil empire, but a member of a nation based on strength, justice, and freedom.  These ideals have died inside of me.  It makes me pretty sad that I no longer view my country as my home, but as something that is a force against me.  I no longer feel like an american, my country has made it so I can't feel a part of it.  That might be the reason for the entire "Adunai" idea.  I wanted to feel that sense of belonging to something great and honest and beautiful.  I wanted the old "American" feeling back, so i created something i could be proud of, something i could beleive in.
"She couldn't help thinkin that there was a little more to life somewhere else"
Maybe the location is vital.  Maybe if i didn't live in southern california things would be different.  I've always heard that things are different everywhere else, and that SoCal is it's own little world.  I hope so, because if this is all there is to life, i dunno how much i can take.  I'd like to get away from this crystalized bit of insanity.  I take my insanity liquid and dynamic with lots of cream and sugar, thank you
"After all it is a great big world with lots of places to run to"
I need adventure, i need romance, i need passion, I need danger, i need more ninja super powers to combat evil.  This is not my time, this is not my place.  James and I need have decided we need to be places in cryogenic freeze and put in a room with a hammer and a small plaque that says "wake us up in the apocolypse"  What evil is there to fight when the only danger to innocents is us, because society views truth and honor as evil now.
Yeah, an d if she had to die
Tryin' she had one little promise
She was gonna keep

Oh yeah, all right
Take it easy baby
Make it last all night
She was an American girl

It was kind of cold that night
She stood alone on her balcony
She could the cars roll by
Out on 441
Like waves crashin' in the beach
And for one desperate moment there
He crept back in her memory
God it's so painful
Something that's so close
And still so far out of reach

Oh yeah, all right
Take it easy baby
Make it last all night
She was an American girl
End of Song.

Where is my American Girl?

By the way, I'm building a "Wisdom of Shaolin Master Mu Tzu page, it might be up by the end of the day.

Here's a prime example of life:
An elderly man lay dying in his bed. (wait , it gets funnier)

In death's agony, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his
favorite chocolate chip cookies wafting up the stairs. He
gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the

Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the
bedroom, and with even greater effort forced himself down the
stairs, gripping the railing with both hands, he crawled

With labored breath, he leaned against the door-frame, gazing
into the kitchen. Were it not for death's agony, he would have
thought himself already in heaven: there, spread out upon
waxed paper on the kitchen table were literally hundreds of
his favorite chocolate chip cookies.

Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of heroic love from his
devoted wife, seeing to it that he left this world a happy

Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself toward the
table, landing on his knees in a rumpled posture. His parched
lips parted: the wondrous taste of the cookie was already in
his mouth, seemingly bringing him back to life.

The aged and withered hand trembled on its way to a cookie at
the edge of the table, when it was suddenly smacked with a
spatula by his wife.

"Stay out of those," she said, "they're for the funeral."

Here's some poems:
no peace exists for me
theres no happiness to be found
no rest from these wary nightmares
no sleep during these sinful hours

every breath i take
brings me a step closer
to the oldman
i'll soon be

i found a sanctuary once
and i loved it so well
held unto it so tight
that it went away

if things were always dark
how could I know there is a sky?
how could i know of beauty
how could things be different

It's true nature is revealed in
it's eyes
and its movements; when it moves
and it breathes with suttle elegance
like water in a stream:
it's epically tragic
it's tragically beautiful
and in the end
it's all that remains
the fears we feel
the beauty we see
the pain we take
is all we have
and in a large world
we are so small that
it's suprising God can give
us each a little kiss
we all know we are alone
we are born alone
we will die alone
in between we romance ourselves
with delightful lies and fallacy's
our dreams; our goals; -> lies.
Where does this passion come from?
where will it go?
It's only a dream
I will die as I have lived

We have the key;
there is no door.
 control me
 break me
 defeat me
 take me
it's us or them;it's me or you
trying to remember all that we once knew
trying to find what we know is true
 it's a dream
 it's a lullaby
 I go to sleep
 I say goodbye
We have the key what is it to?
 I found the answer once;
 it was hidden deep away
 i left it there
 knowing i might need it today
but i never wanted more,
then not enough or way too much
a little bit of love
or the softest touch
but in the end..
we're all left alone

it's my fault
i take a mile every inch
i take things on faith
I make them what i want them to be.
the first one was sweet
i took a fraction and thought it was the whole
it was nothing
but my innocence is what it stole.
i met a girl
i thought that she was dark and deep
it wasn't her fault i was a fool
despite all appearance
we were just at the deep end of the kiddy pool
There's a thing about principles
and i see a girl that has them
it's all my fault for not seeing
she was only good for lack of oppurtunity
I don't want happiness
I want a bit of purity
I can't give up whats real
for a little joy to feel
so where..
is a nihilist to go?

Lets see, i updated the fruiti-tastic poetry page, and lets see..added some drawings.

Very soon some big things are coming to the page, it will be fun!!!

click on the icon to the left to view an adunai warchine.
click on this one to see my drawing of an FF dragoon.

The adunai immortals are revealing themselves, I will add two more a day till all 13 places are taken up.  They will be on thier own special page with a picture and discription.

There will be more insanity later today, but for now, here is a quickie:
"Wishes are my command, and you don't need a four leaf clover to dream" -Richards Simmons.
I believe this reveals quite a bit about Richard Simmons, I don't think i even need to reiterate his extreme homosexuality, no, I think that the actual point is, that he's a Genie.  Thats right, Richard Simmons is a genie.  What does this mean?  I think it means that maybe all homosexuals are maybe just genies, or maybe just he is and if we can capture him in his lamp that we could wish for all kinds of stuff.  Blah.  Not only is this tangent not entertaining, it's openly offensive to gays.  I guess I better cut my losses and stop here.

a touching diologue:
Last night..
"i declare tommarrow to be adunai day"
"i don't think reality is going to comply"
"The proof is in the pudding"
"I declared today adunai day"
"i'm suprised reality complied"
"we see who is whose bitch now."
...hence nihilism.
hence my perpetual victory.
hence adunai.

If you don't understand, thats ok, because that is not the point of this webpage, the point of this webpage is to let you all know that as long as there is evil and tyranny in this world, there will be the adunai to stand against it.

 I rewrote the lyrics to Video Killed the Radio Star click here to see them The song will be on the messiah delux page tomarrow.

Adunai is going into business, right now we are working on T-shirt ideas, bumperstickers, car antena decorations, and adult sized sleepers.
Here are some logos for the bumper sticker (compliments of Strimbello, may the adunai bless his path to enlightment)
1. I survived since before time and all i got was this bumper sticker
2. The adunai cicada....watch for it
3. Ask me about my spell jammin ram
4. Cybernetic Shaolin Popeye on board
5. Adunai...perpetuating itself through itself
6. I am Adunai
7. Surviving the apocalypse one zombie at a time
8. My lack of videodrome makes me a better driver than you
9. Honk if you're Adunai
10. (Just a pirate flag)
11. I was you once
12. Adunai...just another word for your king
13. Just Adunai
If anyone has any resources, ideas, capital or anything of that sort, send me a message at: ididitimajew@spuzznjaevin.iwarp.com

Final Fantasy Anthology is out.  I have it.  I've been playing it.  It's wicked.
if i'm not updating the page, i'm playing the game.  Kup....o!

Some ancient wall scrolls have been found at the bottom of the adunai temple.  They reveal the true nature of the mysteries behind UFO's and the famous lake monsters found accross earth.  You see, the aquatic giants of the water are earth's defense against the alien invaders.  Here is a picture of the lochness monster eating a UFO.  The adunai text on the side says "Alien technology is nothing to the sheer power of the scottish.  Also, the aliens are gay."

To offset the blatant disregard for human compassion that has been evident on this page since it's birth, here's a picture of a cute baby:
(they look like daisies, but have you ever seen how adunai reproduce? it involves planting spoors in plant based alien lifeforms.)

Today's update will be severely angst ridden.
If you want something humerous, well, if you are all nihilistic as me, this may be just what you're looking for.  Otherwise, i recommend you go scroll down or whatever.

This is my webpage, but it's more then just entertainment for my 1 or 2 loyal readers, it is also a way to get all the thoughts out of my head.  I find if i don't write them all down, they got lost in the infinity spiral of the universe, never to be found again.  Also, they seem to dwell inside me until they decide to manifest themselves in a giant universe destroying beast that i'm sure looks a lot like the biomechanical Atma beast.  Anyways, despite all efforts, life for me right now pretty much sucks.  Let me elaborate, i will write it in the form of a list of pro's and cons.  I don't expect any of you to understand this, or even to care, this is for me, not you.

Pro: I have a pirate flag waving from my car antenna.
Con: i guess people all figured out that they didn't like to deal with shit, so they had a council and decided to pick one person to have to take all the fucking blame, and all the hassles and problems, and get no credit whatsoever and in fact have a reputation as independable so no one else would catch on.  For some reason, whenever i'm involved in any situation whatsoever, i seem to be the bad guy, no matter how hard i try to make things right, or how i just try to stay out of it, i always end up the hated one.
Pro: I own a katana
Con: Whenever i get down, I look to my friends for help, who just decide they don't want to talk to me or hate me for some reason or another involving things they oddly won't discuss with me.  If they do find it in their hearts to talk to me, they just point out how stupid i am for feeling the way i do, like i have control over my emotions.  Either that or they shrug.  Freaking nihilists.
Pro: I once hit a speeding rat with a arrow in my garage from 10 feet away
Con: My family would be understanding, but they're dealing with their own shit, and just see me as being whatever, because I'm too freaking messed up all the time to handle things, and i make mistakes sometimes.  That and they havea complete lack of trust for me because they see me procrastinate or not do things their way, and they figure i'm just a screw up.  So all they ever are are upset at me, and they don't care whats wrong as long as I start doing exactly what they want when they want all the time.
Pro: I have a taoist immortal and a anime toy of the final fantasy 1 black mage on my dash
Con: Everyone that has ever been close to me has betrayed me in a very serious way at least once for no apparent reason whatsoever.  This makes me question trust for everyone, which makes me connecting with anyone really hard, so I can never get all these fucked up emotions talked out, or resolved, because I have to sit here all pissy, or pretend everything is ok so people want to actually talk to me
Pro: the other day i met a midgit chick the size of Mahow Mahow
Con: School is immensly boring, I'm having trouble getting a job for one reason or another, I'm low on money, I can't even meet new people which means I've been dateless for awhile, and it has been so long since i've been single (about 2 years) that i completly forgot even how to meet girls to be in relationships with.  Every gets all mad at me because of all these things, and think i don't even try at all to fix things, when that is all I do.  My mom was counting on me driving my step sister to school, and I had everything worked out fine, so i could drive with my friend james to take her (since  i didn't get my liscence today..) but i then my mom was severely pissed off at me because later i found out that for legal reasons she couldn't be in the car with James without a background check, so she went off and got someone else.  How is that my fault???  How was i supposed to know she couldn;t be in the car with someone if nobody tells me.  So now, i've increased my families opinion of me that i am a flake, when I have actually never even flaked out once, and I actually do everything i am told, just not the way i'm told, just my way.
Because i'm not a zombie, and i have what i like to think of as a brain, and it is my nature to handle things the way i feel is best (because when i try other people's way I just really mess up everytime)  they see me doing my things when/how i want to, and they don't see how I'm actually doing everything i'm supposed to, so they get angry with me and yell at me or whatever and try to force me to do it how they want me to, so then everything gets all messed up, and they blame that on me too.  If they would have just left things alone, it would all be fine.
Pro: The adunai are pretty cool
Con: Because no one understands any of this, and all this corruption makes people not care, I'm stuck in all this without anything whatsoever except insults and pain.  Most of the people i thought were my friends don't even talk to me, and i can't act or be normal when I'm depressed like this.  Whenever i do happen to be in a good mood, something happens or i talk to someone, and all it does it bring me down.  Like chanel telling me today that her ex-bf brandon had told her that he and my ex-gf meg were talking badly of me with each other.  Brandon has major problems with me, so it's only natural i feel in similar ways towards him.  Normally i wouldn't care if he was saying things about me, but the fact that he made up some stuff about Meg being like that towards me, because Meg and I are still friends, and i love her a lot, just really made me angry.  Of course none of it was true, and no matter how many times i try to resolve the issues with brandon and EVERYONE else in the entire world that was my friend, because seriously i think all problems are just misunderstands and i'd forgive everyone and completly admit to the things i've done wrong, things never work like that, and usually things just get worse.
Pro: I have friends like Alan, James, Chanel, my cousin david, diane, holly.. that are pretty damn cool.
Con: My only real escape from all this involves joining the military, going to an asylum, or taking medication to sedate me and make me normal.  Also the very worse part is, even after all this, I'm still the asshole, i'm still the one who is wrong, and everyone still doesn't care.  But thats alright, cause at least I know that someone, someday, will find my treasured lost plastic representation of Poncho, and throw him in the trash.

So the basic point is (assuming you bothered reading this far, or if you skipped the whole thing) is that if I seem a little bit touchy or pissy lately, cut me a little bit of slack, I'm working on it, and don't take the things i say personally, it's just me being f*cked up.  I'm sorry every other update is random depression stuff, I'll try to continue the top level of humor based material that all of you people have grown to love and enjoy.  ADUNAI!!!

Popeye is really freaking cool.  I'm not talking the post apocolypic adunai version (cybernetic shaolin popeye) i'm talking good old normal popeye.  On last nights episode, a bunch of mexicans thought he was a matador and so they threw him in the arena with a bull.  They gave Popeye swords, but he broke them over his knee, then proceeded to try not hurting the bull.  Finally the crowd got angry, and the bull was beating him up.  Lettuce and other misc fruits and vegtables were being tossed at him while the bull repeadedly charged him into a wall.  Then some spinache hit popeye, he sucked it through his pipe and beat the snot out of the bull.  Normally, in normal cartoons, he would beat up the bull and that would be the end.  But no, this is Popeye.  After he gets done beating up the bull, the bull shakes his hand and gives him a ride with Olive Oil to the local bar for some tequila.

There's a couple new words in the glossary as well.  I wrote the above entry last night, i was very, very tired.   Glossary

My kingdom for an old school squaresoft game.

Conversation page is updated..

10.2.99(There is a very important message at the end of todays update, skip to there, if you want.)

Well it's official, i've lost it.  Let me show you how it stands now:
Me, the mexican desparados with aqualungs and society, Satan, and Jenova in a free for all battle.  Thats right, I'm battling  everything for complete control over the universe.  notice i didn't put God in there.  Thats because it's the point of this existance to ignore God.  We all know he's there, but i'm just going to pretend he isn't.  Anyways, I'm sure i can take satan and the desparados and society, but combined, they will probably lay waste to me, if i was alone. However, I still have comrades in my fight against existance.  Thats right kids, PONCHO IS ON MY SIDE.   It 's me and my sidekick all alone against everything that ever was.  I'm good against the odds, but come on.

Whats the point?  Well, i've often asked myself the question, but i've never found an answer.  Lots of people find lots of things to make life have a point, but well, I think it's kind of futile.  Why fool myself?
Does this all make sense?
I didn't think so.
I'm making 1 cent a minute for being online right now.
The tighter you hold on, the more that slips through your fingers...
maybe i should just let it all go
and then I will fall into oblivion.  But maybe oblivion is where it's all at, I've never been there personally, so it's likely considering there is nothing here.
Oops, i just realized i'm being existentialist.
I also realized i'm flooding my stupid webpage with stupid pointless banter.
and i'm happy about it!!!
I can't believe people even read all this.  I doubt they do, i never hear from them, it's probably me all by myself, just like everything else, freaking existentialsm.
I burn every bridge i ever cross.

I think that the entire universe is propelled by one consciencness and each life form is just that conscienceness being filtered through into the physical world.  Which means, me, you, the cat, my goldfish, we're all the same thing at the very core, but our brain size, our lives we live, make everything all fraction off and become different.  I think this is how God ammuses himself, by fractioning his conscienceness into bazillions of lives and then interacting with himself.  I guess if you're god and you exist forever and you're nihilist, you probably have nothing better to do.  But see, i've caught on, I'm the anti-existance existant!  Well,, that was a tangent off the actual point.  The actual point is, if we are all of the same ilk, we should be nicer to each other, because all we do is hurt ourself.

as for me, I'm always the same all time.  The same old emotions, the same old sadness, the same old happiness all at the same time.  It never changes.  I just deal with the sameness in different ways at different times.  I'm just waiting for somethign to happen, but i doubt it ever will.

Either that or a really sweet intelligent beautiful girl to take me away from all my own insanity.  But they all have better things to do.

By the way, go to the conversation page, and read it.
Here is a nifty comic page i made from neat stuff i found and scanned: Comics

VERY IMPORTANT MESSAGE: I know for the last few monthes or whatever i've been really messed up and i've been depressed, and stupid and a bunch of other words i could use to belittle myself, but i dont feel like it.  Anyways, i'm at a low part of my cycle in life, i went down hard, but things aren't always gonna be this way.  I'm pushing all of you that love me further and further away, and it really really hurts me that i'm doing it, and i'm not even trying to.  I'm just trying to get over all these horrible things that are inside me right now, and in desperation I end up just hurting you when what I'm trying desperatly to do is get help.  I feel all my friendships with all of you dwindling, and it's just getting worse and worse, and i already know the (vast?) majority of you have already given up, and if thats what you have to do, thats fine, but i wish it didn;t have to be that way.  I'm not trying to hurt you all, i'm not trying to be messed up, it's just well, I'm just trying to make it through this and I'm sorry things are being like they are.  I hope i will be forgiven.  I hope I can be forgiven.

The dmv is ran by mexican desparados with aqualungs.

Anyways, I've updated my personal fav page, the conversation page, so you should all see that.
also I added a poetry page it's in the art/music section if you really want to see it.

I have something great for all of you.  Thats right!!! I have added 2 new Battles to Final Bout!!! yay....
 Mr T. vs The Fonz
 Space Ghost vs Trent Reznor

I have found out about this thing that can make us all lots of money for doing nothing but sitting here online.  The way it works is, you sign up (it's really really easy, it takes like 2 minutes) and then you make 50 cents an hour for being online, plus an additional 10 cents an hour for everyone you refer to the program.  Also, you get an additional 5 cents for everyone they refer, and it works for up to 5 generations.  Which basically means, we all refer lots of people, and we'll all make massive amounts of cash for doing nothing.  I think this is a really cool idea.  Click on the link below (or scroll down to the bottom) and sign up.  The very worst case scenerio is you waste 1 minute signing up, next worst case is you make 50 cents an hour for doing nothing but being on line, which is pretty cool.  Basically, if every reader on this page signs up, money will be rolling in.  If i recruit 10 people, i'll make 1.50 an hour for working on this webpage! woohoo.  so you should all do this.  thanks, love you, bye.
 Click here

Jaevin: i just watched a movie
Jaevin: and it really deeply spiritually and emotionally moved me
Jaevin: and i was really into the characters and such
Jaevin: and right before I saw the final part, to see if the kid i've been watching for the last hour and a half gets the girl he was chasing, i turned the movie off
Jaevin: because I'm a nihilist
Cyandraa: hehehehehe
Alas, my friends, the adunai has revealed more of my path to me today, and my destiny has been illuminated a touch more.  Thats right, today, i've found out my major problem in life:  I'm a romantic nihilist.  For those of you who do not follow the adunai, or are uneducated in vocabulary, a nihilist is someone who believes that nothing has any meaning whatsoever.  A romantic, is of course, someone who tries to find the adventure and beauty in everything, which means I have another major contradiction to my already convoluted list of personal traits.  No wonder i can't find a girl who would love me, i mean, one minute i'm looking up websites on self mutilation (which is a really really bad idea, trust me on this one, whatever you're thinking about, it's worse.)  and the next minute, i'm watching some sappy teenage romantic drama on tv and bawling my eyes out.  Well, maybe not, but through the use of hyperboles, I hope my point has been illustrated.  Normally i would try to hide the fact that i am a sappy romantic as most people find it directly against what they know me to be: an insane nihilistic ninja.  But ive found that by admiting who i am, instead of hiding it, it brings me one step closer to my ultimate goal: self actualization in the eyes of the adunai's official deity, Santa Claus.  See, notice how i try to hide my soft side with blatant sarcasm?  it's very hard to deal with, and if it confuses you, you should try being me.  I know, i know, this is all sounding very self-servering and self centered, but once again i must inform you, this is my webpage.  Sorry, I know that really made me sound like a jerk, but everything i say has the purpose of trying to cover up what i really mean, and what i really want, which, flat out, is true love.  Thats right, I really would like to meet the girl of my dreams very soon, and that is the soul purpose for all of my nihilism, all of my sarcasm, all of my stoic manic gibberish.  Thank you for listening <sob>

I can't believe I wasted my time writing all that.


I made the mistake of looking up "fisting" trying to to find something humorous to paste to Meg.  Trust me on this one, it's not a good idea.

I UPDATED MY GLOSSARY!! if anyone cares.  click here

My younger counterpart, Little eric has made his webpage about santa claus, you can view it  here

I'm really losing it this time freinds.

We've discovered something.  McDonalds chicken McNugett's come in 3 shapes.  Round, foot, and other foot.  However we have the faint suspician that the "other" foot is the first foot turned backwards.

Thats right, i have declared my webpage the anti-webpage.  This is because of sprite.  I love sprite because their comercials, they are the us of soda.  Their comercials are anti-comercial comercials.  You've all seen the comercial where the little kid drinks a little bit of sprite and then gets the crap kicked out of him by a professional wrestler.  I don't even like to drink it.
Image is nothing, obey your thirst.

REMEMBER ERIC'S LAW: It'll work out.

Sorry about yesterday, it was my first attempt at using monkeys to run my webpage instead of dwarves.  They are cheaper and easier to feed, but they just don't live as long under hard labor and the crack of the whip.  Just kidding folks, anyways, I guess a few of you are wondering if, at the end of all this "webpage" business, there will be some sort of final, ejaculation, if you will, to let you know all your hard work of reading the stupid things i write on here is good.  Well, my friend, just like life, we're not letting you off that easy, because this webpage is sorta like a bottomless pit.  Thats right, it's endless, it just gets clogged up sometimes.  whats the point of all this?  If I knew, i wouldn't be writing all this, if you knew, you wouldn't be reading it.  All of these factors lead up to one basic point: There's no gettin off this train we're on.

Before e-mailing me telling me of misc. mistakes in spelling, grammar, or ediquete in the above passage, remember that I am a nihilist, and i don't take kindly to you intellectual folk tellin me how to run this here webpage.  I feel like i'm caught in the wild west.  Uh.  Anyways, moving on to the real point of today's update (yes, there is one) I recently asked my friend Alan if there is anything really worth waiting for.  He said Bob Saget Dying.  Come on now, is death really something to wait for?  I mean, sure Bob Saget is pretty gay, and we all can have a good laugh at him, but waiting for him to kick the bucket is kinda like waiting for the milk to get out of the cow and into the store.  I don't know how it happens, but it does.  Likewise with this case.  So you all know what i'm talking about, i'll use gangsta code: 23429894.  thats right.

Speaking of Cows, did you know all of you have eaten a part of George Washington?  I mean think about it, he's buried, the worm eats him, a lizard the worm, a bird eats the lizard, then the cow eats the bird.  So you see how it works?  Next time you go to mcdonalds, just think about that, it's not just some madcow disease survivor mixed with sewer rat, you're also eating part of our countries forefathers.

Here we go, i know you've all been waiting for it.


thats right kids, it's nihilism day.  for our first guest, we have a man who needs no introduction, it's nihilist neal!
Neal: Hello everyone
Interview: So you think it's funny to be a nihilist?
Neal: "Sometimes" <pause for laugh>
Interview: (chuckle) thats very funny neal, now honestly, do you really believe nothing has any meaning?
Neal: (crying) no, I don't, i'm not a nihilist, i'm sorry, i have to leave.

uh, yeah.
Good thing this is my web page and not yours, because you wouldn't let me write this kind of stuff.
For our second guest we have our good friend, Poncho Villa!  hurray
Poncho: ...
Interviewer: so how are you?
Poncho: ...
Intervierwer: this is a big waste of time, huh?
Poncho: ...

Lets all give a big round of applause for poncho Villa, mexican folklore hero! yayyyy.

I hate nihilism.

The day of destiny is drawing near.  Thats right, pretty soon i'm going to write the adunai book.  When i get around to it, that is, which may be never.  Uhm. I dunno.

Poetry Day!!!

 i take everything too lightly
 because if i don't it drags me down
 and while i'm swimming towards the surface
 i lose my breath and drown

who am i
i do not know
what am i
where do i go?

when in worry or in doubt
run in circles scream and shout



Sorry for the lack of updates (again)

Check out my page of zen poetics:  become a Zen Master in 21 days

stuff happened with cops, it's very funny, maybe, when i'm bored, i'll write about it.
I updated the best section of my page (conversation) and also i added some pictures to my other best section, my retarded picture page.  Check it out!

We went to shaolin master Wen's Donuts today, but Lao Tzu wasnt there.

I adopted a dragon

his name is shirokahn, here's my certificate:

I'm bored so i made up some songs for you all to read, assuming you can read:
(sung to: where did all the flowers go?)
Where did all the gothics go
long time standing
where did all the gothics go,
long time ago,
they turned to ravers everyone
I know that was lame, i'm sorry, just kidding, i'm not. Lala.
(sung to: I don;t know.)
There are two sides to every fight
and both sides thinks that they are right
fight fight
whose right?
we are fools in a foolish world.

Here's a list of the movies I like, if you like these, suggest some stuff to me because I CAN'T do anything cause of my busted up hand:
Ninja Scroll (Jubei fights demons)
Ninja Ressurection (Jubei Fights jesus)
Pulp Fiction
Aeon Flux (i love her.  not like the normal kind of love for people that don't exist, real love)
Braveheart (it's the scottish in me)
Videodrome (you should go see it, james woods kills himself with a gun he pulls out of a vagina in his stomach that grew there from watching too much tv.  Well, not really, but its a good movie)
Blade runner (they redo this movie with wicked music, and we'd have the best movie ever.)

I promise there will be more stuff later, it's early and i decided to spam my own webpage with worthless crap.  Uh, post messages on the message board!!!!!!!!!!!!

well the world is still alive, so it seems aparent that I succeeded.  if i didn't, welcome to the post apocolyptic version of my webpage!! woo.

i'm in immense pain as i broke my right hand.  It was pretty bad, i had to pop my tendons back in place, and it was bleeding pretty badly.  Its hard to type with my cast/splint thingy, so i'll keep it kinda short: I hate doctors.  Bleeding and in immense pain, i had to wait for clearance from insurance before i could get it fixed.  Then i sat there waiting while they decided what to do.  I told them the cuts weren't a big deal, but my broken hand and trunked tendons were.  Very patronizingly she asked "how do you know its broken" i replied that i felt the bone go up over the other bone, and that the punched that did it knocked a hole in cement.  Anyways after the x-ray, they bandaged it up, and sent me on my way.  B efore i left, the gay male nurse asked if i did it for pity.  Yes, i shoved my hand at 5billion miles an hour into cement for pity.  I love hospitals.
More later..

Well, i tried to shave my goatee in a robinhood stye and failed.  I messed it up.  So inestead of cutting my losses and leaving my poor helpless beard alone, I shaved it all the way off.  Now i look like a retard.  This has got me thinking.  Maybe i do have downsyndrome.  It would kind of make sense, although i am very embarrased to admit it.  Anyways, since the entire point of this page is to make me look really really stupid, and I am succeeding.

I got Tiberian Sun.  It kicks ass.

The next song by Messiah Delux, entitled Pinko.Com is at the messiah delux page  Click Here

Of and i forgot to tell you, today may very well be the end of the world.  An angel came and told me that if i didn't save the world, then God and Satan would destroy the universe.  Fortunatly it was me she came to and not the mexicans accross the street because they can't speak english.  Anyways, this may very well be the last post on my webpage if I fail.  I am going unarmed, ungoatee'ed, and looking like a retarded foreign exchange student.  Oh well.

I've been thinking about growing a robin hood style beard:

I made a pic for Strimbello here:  it's a more acurate buddha statue: (click on it for a link to his page)

I made a few more pics for my retarded picture page, but they are so grotesque I'm kinda afraid to put them up, people must already think i'm some sort of deformed freak.  Oh well, I guess i will anyways, click on the pic below to see them (sigh)

I have something great for everyone, it's a new picture page!!!! click on the retarded animation of me to see it
(the reason this is so small is because it is so incredibly retarded looking, i don't want people to see it, of course, you could just right click and view picture to see it at full size...I don't know why the animation is so erratic, it's not even at any pattern whatsoever, which is actually impossible. ?<sigh>)

Yes, thats right, i am bored.
Everyone e-mail me your vote for stupidest looking pics!!!
I'm adding stuff to the page, i've updated the art section, and the stories section so check them out.
also there is some new stuff on my personal favorite page, the conversation page.

 Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures.
Remember, when someone annoys you, it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown,
but it takes only 4 muscles to extend your arm and smack the asshole  upside the head.

well uh, i'm kinda have been in a fucked up mood lately, and i dont' think any of you want to hear about it.  here's a summary:
"blah blah, depression, blah blah, women, blah blah, life...."

here's some art i did today in between short lived arguements in philosophy.  They go something like this, the teacher says something stupid, i make a valid point, he twists the point around and stops talking.  Anyways, school = videodrome.

I promise this page will get better someday.

I petitioned for my two extra classes, philosophy and speech.  I got into both of them, and have already begun my attack on my philosophy class.  I have here a graphical representation of what it looks like when i fight anything.   click here to view

I don't really have much to say right now.  I will probably be back later to add more.  I started writing a story but netscape crashed and i lost the whole damn thing.

I went to my first day of college, and it looks like more of the same thing i've put myself through in the last.. 15 years of my life <sigh sadly>  I don't really have much to say today.
what is this fairy doing here? I don't know.

I'll be writing a whole bunch of stories and stuff tonight, so look forward to all new installments in the Daisy and the Mad Bumbler Saga.  Also, if you didn't notice, the Glossary is updated.

They made me take Human Flesh off of ebay because they felt it was something inappropriate, exspecially because it was under misc. food items.  Bah...

Warning: Due to extreme lack of sleep, this update is.. twacked.
I've decided in the idea of good will, that I will share with you all who I really am, therefore i have built a self indulgent page about me.  Why? Because this is my website, and I'd like to share with everyone who I am.
read this.  You'll like it

 Click here if you know whats good for you  you heard the man.

I feel a rant coming on.  The reason philosophers think nihilists are contradictory and self delusional is because nihilists just weave such a web of deception and chaos around every theory that was ever made ever and then crashes it down and laughs.  Nihilists are really funny. They can't contradict themselves because everything they say has no meaning and has infinite truth and infinite lies in it.  See, anyway you look at it, telling the truth is lying in a way that manipulates people, and lies, well, we always know they are bad.  The point is, if you have any mainstream religion don't talk to nihilists, because they will call you a monkey and then when you get offended they will say they are a monkey too... ohhh boy.

I kinda feel that being circumcised at birth was almost a rape of sorts.  I know it's a tradition and all that and it's probably healthier and cleaner, but i don't know, i feel somehow a part of me is gone and I can never get it back.

Thats right kids, there's no getting off this train we're on.  Case in point: everyone gets on my back to get a job.  I get a job at walmart doing the worst work in the entire universe (changing oil) for 7 dollars an hour.  I work for 2 weeks, get 500 bucks and quit.  Why do I need to work more? I have money.  My mom tells me "you need a job" and i tell her me getting a job is no big deal and I hardly even have to try to get one and people hire me.  I said this before also before i had ever had a job, and meg, my dad, my mom and society itself said "you won't be able to get a job that easy"  well to them I have to say that I applied for 3 jobs and all three called me back. Back on track though, my mom tells me "you need a job."  So today i'm sitting in my living room, and I decide, yeah, a job would be a good idea.  I have Alan call cost plus, and Wham! Bam! I have a job.  It took aproximently 3 minutes.  Why do people worry and stress so much? oh. thats right. they aren't me. <strokes his own ego>

Ohhhhh boy.  Adunai week is over and this page is back in action.  I'm crazy.  No wonder no one reads this page.  How can you kids let me get away with such blatant affronts.  Wheres the revolutionaries?  Fight the man.  <laughs>

Adunai week is still adunai week.  I was in a bad mood earlier, you must forgive me.

I'm thinking about changing the title of this page to "what the hell is wrong with me?"

Adunai Week will forever be now known as "Mexican Desparados with Aqualungs Week" in light of the current events.


Ouch.. sorry for the big delay in updates lately, i've been caught up in adunai week, and man has it been a blast.  I forget the millions of things i had to put on the page in the last 6 days so i'll just stick with asking you all a quick survey question:
What is Parrot Ice?
1) a clever misspelling of Paradise
2) ice that was made by taking a parrot, putting it in a blender, then pouring it into an ice cube tray.
3) a drink from Circle K minimart
4) all of the above.

I registered for college wednsday, I'm in philosophy with 2 other adunai, so this should be very interesting.

Let me explain the difference between a Nihilist (NILE-IST) and a nihilist (nee-ill-ist) both are spelled the same way and mean the same thing: someone who believes that nothing has any meaning.  However, the different pronounciation makes all the difference.  Nihilist (Nile-ist) means someone who believes in nothing and is depressed that nothing has any meaning whatsoever.  Nihilist (nee-ill-ist) means someone who believes nothing has any meaning, and that it's really funny.  Of course I made up the whole difference thing.

i bought a videocamera and a groovy graphics card so soon i will be putting up some video's to download.  My friend Sean filmed a light saber fight between Alan and I, and it going to add special effects and music, so it'll be cool.

POST MESSAGES ON THE MESSAGE BOARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! please.

Friday the 13th.. ohh, scary.  Anyways, I completed List B here. I will explain later and organize the whole thing later.  this is just the raw list.

well i spent way too long on something stupid tonight, and well, here it is, my temporary, arbitrary list of contradictions and that kind of stuff that is on Team A.  I will fix it later, so far this is just a diamond in the rough.  Side A

I will make side "B" later, maybe tomarrow.  if you think it should be changed at all or if i forgot or added something wrong, just put it up on the message board, or e-mail me.

Well.  The browns won.

I have to go to college registration today, so that might suck.  I lost all the important papers i needed (typical of me) and so I have to figure out a way to improvise on this situation

For all of you who didnt know, the message board is alive and kicking and i encourage you to leave your mark on it, so we can experience lots of really messed up stuff.

I wrote two short adunai stories that you all need to read, and laugh at. (write responses in the message board, if ya want)
 Nihilism, infinite sadness, and the last laugh
 Twang - the story of the final battle

Uhm... thats all for now

Well, I don't know.  Most of you probably would never even consider this a possibility. It's intriguing.  However, I must say..
yeah, the browns are back into football, and well, what can I say except that they are the same exact team.

Why is this picture here? I don't know.  I think she is cute.

Anyways, unto the actual update.
I want a T-shirt that says "I hate everyone except you." with a caption that says "I'm not a nihilist" on the back.

Everyone should read the conversation section of the page, it's supremely entertaining.

we've decided that the begginning of Adunai Week is next saturday when kate arrives here from whereever the hell she is from.  that begins a 6 day party of chaos. on the seventh day (sunday) we shall rest.

What is the meaning of all this? I don't know.

Wow time flies when you're... yeah.  I just got back from seeing the blair witch project.  Before I go into it, I would just like to say that I am utterly completly fearless.  Nothing whatsoever can scare me in that deep eternal soul stiring way.  I wish it could happen, but it won't.  Just like assimilation.  It's just not going to happen.  For me the Blair Witch Project presented me with a hope.  A hope that somethign somewhere was worth my attention.  The movie, if you're the kind that gets that deep eternal horror is fucking scary.  For me, it was a big let down that the whole thing wasn't real.  I had already planned out that I would go and film the sequil to the movie, and I would find out what the whole thing was about.  But no, it's too good to be true, and I am let down once again.  If you can think of anything that would scare me, please, indulge yourself, because, like the fool that I am, I am completly utterly fearless.  The only reason I would ever kill myself is because I'm really curious as to what happens next, maybe nothing, I would like to know.  My only fear is to be afraid of something or to die before I actually got to see something worth being scared about.  I know I contradicted myself, but this is my page, and I can do whatever I want.  Anyways, go see the movie.  Witches and Ghosts aren't real.  And if they are, if these demons and ghosts and such do exist. Bring them on.  I'd like to see them, i'd like to see something that messed up.  I'm curious.

I'm sorry for the recent lack of updates, it isn't because I lacked material (a lot of stuff has happened) but I just really haven't felt like it, and still dont.  So i'll keep today's short.

Subject:         realy
   Date:         Sun, 01 Aug 1999 23:04:19 PDT
   From:        "Tobias Herrmann" <toby74@excite.com>
     To:        "Gary Coleman" <GColeman@adunai.iwarp.com>
On Sat, 31 Jul 1999 16:00:57 -0700, Gary Coleman wrote:
> this is gary coleman, fuck you
Hi Gary,
nice to hear from who ever you are. You language is not fine but for
somebody like you appropriate. I belive you on of this fucking Americans
with a to short dick. Have fun during masturbation with two fingers.
Stay in touch

Also I plan on writing a book entitled "Why marriage doesn't work" with a subtitle that says "Unconditional love my ass"

Definition of the THANOS shield:  in 7th grade I got in a fight with a kid named thanos.  Basically, I was trying to get my dollar into a soda machine, and he offered to trade me dollars.  I got my soda, and he demanded the quarter change.  I wouldn't give it to him, so he grabbed my soda and proceeded to shake it up.  Of course, the drink wasn't even carbonated, so I laughed, took my drink back and gave him the quarter.  He was angry.  So he threw his quarter at me.  It was all too funny, then the kid charged me, and I did a super kick(kick that happens only when it's funny, it entails a kick to the calf that sends a person sprawling on the floor.) and he was really mad, so he came at me again, and we grappled a bit, I had the upper hand, and the kid started bear hugging me.  Of course, Alan had to yell "Don't hug him you faggat" and I started laughing so hard, it didn't even matter this kid was punching me, I couldn't feel it.  I was laughing so hard, the punches didn't affect me whatsoever.  He eventually gave up and me and alan walked home.  Now you know what the thanos shield is.  (for you dull people, it's when I'm laughing so hard nothing can even hit me because it's really funny)

A girl with orange hair and a dress came and applied for a job at james' coffee shop.   After the girl with the orange hair left, a different girl went to james.
  "We have to hire her, she's a pixie." the girl said
  "Like a fairy? Pixies wear boots." replied James
  "what?" the girl said.
  "Nothing, I guess you don't listen to black sabbath. Whats a pixie?" replied James
  "There are two gangs in Dana Point, the Pixies and the Lords.  Take a guess" and the girl walked away disgusted.
THE PIXIES AND THE LORDS.... ohh god.  Please.  Protect me from these evil gang members.  I hope the entire gang of pixies attacks me, seriously, my thanos shield would be so strong from me laughing, their bullets will bounce off of me.  Jesus christ.. The Pixies and the Lords.. does it get any better? I didn't think so.

Hmm.. I go to work tomarrow.

I haven't been to work since friday, which I guess is job abandonment.  however, i think it's my duty to go in.  Not tomarrow, probably wednsday.

I was thinking about getting a tattoo that spirals on my back and each time I fall in love with someone I will add it to my back and each time i will think it's the last.  When i'm dead i will have my entire back filled up probably and it will be hanuting beautiful.

I cannot be assimilated.  It's impossible.  If the borg took over the planet, and I was taken over and fixed up with all the borg gear, I would tap the headphone and say "is this working?" then i would shrug and leave.  If i was part of a fractal, I would appear in random parts of the pattern.  Lets say I am being slaughtered and put into an alien's hamburger.  Some alien would eat a Bigmac with me in it and choke to death.  This really really lightens a major load on my shoulder by taking away my biggest fear.  i love you all.

Nothing major, just added a message board (click here) so feel free to leave your messages and maybe we can start online flame wars or something.  *UPDATE* this damn message board will never work, it's like my friggin counter (*sigh*)
Life is ok, but sometimes you just have to improvise.  I can take a standard chair and fashion it into a katana to kill zombies with.  (I know it's been the fact of the day for awhile, i like it though, so leave me alone ok?)

I wish I had chosen a useful super power like flying or teleportation instead of super strength.  Well I guess I'll remember that next character.

My job is hell, so I've decided to quit.  I figure any job I could get will be beautiful compared to standing under a hot car changing hot oil while working with assholes, and getting no thanks.  Fast food, which I always dreaded, now seems very cushy.  7 dollars is not worth it.

I'm going to take Psychology of Women at school next year.  There are three reasons: 1) Maybe MAYBE it will give me some insight into how women think 2) I get to argue with feminist, which rates number 7 on my favorite things to do list.  3) I get to meet chicks.

Would you like to see the most recent picture of JFK Jr.? Take a steak and drop it into a fishtank.

a man wants to become famous, to become the best at something, he is unhappy with his life, and he feels like he has accomplished nothing and no one ever gives him recognition so he goes to this mountain, it is the largest mountain in the world, and it's side is straight up, impossible to climb, no one ever has made it to the top, though hundreds have died trying and pulls himself up and there, sitting at the top, is a monk.  the man says "you've been up here all this time? I'm not the first?" and the monk says "nor the second, many have been up here." then the monk teaches him the secret to inner peace, and makes him promise not to tell anyone that he climbed the mountain.
The end

I got my first paycheck.  After working at walmart for 2 weeks, I now have in my possession a paycheck for one hundred and four dollars.  I will scan it later, cause my scanner doesn't work on the adunai computer.

I had funny stories, but I'm tired now and I forget them.  One to tide you over is that my boss Bill Wacker was trying to show me how to spray clean a full injector with a spray bottle, and you have to do it with the engine on, and he was spraying it and the plastic neck of the spray bottle got sucked into the engine and he had to take the whole thing apart to get it out and fix the car.  I think those bastards tried to figure out a way to blame it on me.

Now that I'm single I'm taking applications for my next girlfriend.  Send resumes via e-mail to iwanttodateagreasemonkey@adunai.iwarp.com
be sure to include previous experience and schooling as well as a list of references.  While most things don't matter, I have a brief list of rules that I will follow in selecting my next mate:
1) No men
2) Must like fishing

I contacted an agency to help me get the Strimbello (hamster propelled helicopter) patented and out on the market, I'll keep you posted.

And if you're depressed take 8 Complete pills and call me in the morning.

If you ever need anything to do with your car, like an oil change or a tire repair, and if you're thinking i might be able to help you, well, feel free to get lost.

Love You All,


Adunai interaction with normal people is often miscommunicated and faulty.  An example:
I'm waiting at a bus stop with Alan and James (why we took the bus, i have no clue) and a kid about 16 years old with a pokemon backpack and cargo pants with a word in japanese on a patch.  So I decide to start a conversation.
"Hey, whats that patch mean?" I say
"I don't know.  It means 'I like to steal stuff'" the kid says
"Oh" I say, "so you think it's funny to be a nihilist?"
"what?" he replies, cunningly.
"nothing" I finish.
What does this all mean? Well basically I wanted to get in a mutually entertaining situation, and it ended up him thinking I was an asshole and that I was picking on him.  I suck at PC (player character) NPC (Non-Player Character) interaction.  I wish he had just left it at "I don't know" so I could have said something witty like "it means fuck you foreign devil" but oh well.

I was sitting around today and I thought to myself "you use nihilism as a front to hide all the pain you feel inside" and I agreed with myself, then I laughed for a little while.

When you are young your parents tell you you have to be good because Santa Claus sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake and all that.  Later in life, when you're big and know there is no such thing as Santa Claus, they tell you the same thing about God.

Me, Alan and James were getting food at a local chinese food place, I got chicken and chow mein, James got Rice and Chicken, and Alan bought a fortune cookie.  I asked him why he didn't buy any food, he said he was saving it because he had worked an hour for the money he would spend on food.  So I asked him if he was saving it for a Magic 8 ball, he said "no" opened his fortune cookie, it was empty and replied "I'm saving it for fortune cookies without fortunes."  As with all my stories, you really had to have been there.

(UPDATE!!!) Yes, we are still broken up, however I have found something that will help me out, and hopefully you guys too, check here  Adunai style break up handling || Real Man's Guide To Breaking Up

My girlfriend broke up with me.  I'm really sad.  It's ok though, i guess.

there were so many things
so much
that made our relationship so beautiful.
It swells up inside me
killing the pain
dulling the senses of the wounds underneith
and the scars that will come
some say
that scars are a sign of character
and I feel like I have so many
so many people
so many things
and sometimes someone comes along that makes you forget about those things
and they let you feel like life is worth it
that everything is worth it.
but there is a time for all things to end
and you must know when enough is enough
sometimes things just cannot go on
and it hurts
it burns
and it will scar
and thats ok.

but it's better to have loved and lost
then never loved at all
and sure there are more fish in the sea
but none make you more sad then the ones that got away.

"but as long as I can swivel on my cane to oogle pretty girls..you know i'll be back" -Robert Heinlein

a rose cannot stay beautiful forever
it wilts..
and dies..
until next spring.

and I will finish the way I start everything:
"it may seem bleak, but it's not over, not yet."

Don't e-mail me and call me a sap, I already know.

"Shut your fucking face uncle fucker, you're a cock sucking asslicking bastard uncles fucker, you're an uncle fucker yes its true, nobody fucks uncles quite like you."  terrance and philip

Well you all missed the last update because, well my server was down when I wrote it and i never bothered uploading it.  Anyways the fact of the day was "life is good" and i believed this was true until I started my freaking job ato f*cking walmart changing oil and doing minor repair work for 7 dollars an hour.  My job can be summed up quite simply in this quote. "What the hell was i thinking?" and the answer is, i wasn't.  I didn't really pick the job I wanted, I picked a job that i had the opurtunity for to get people off my back.  And if after reading how much I hate getting cut up and having hot oil spilling down my arm into my new cuts for peanuts, you're prolly wondering if it was worth it to me? Frankly, yes.  Which leads me to believe I would die for my freedom.  If you don't see the connection don't worry, I didn't bother putting it in an easy to understand protocol because I'm having trouble having the will to write this.  Anyways, I have 2 days off now, and I don't get to spend any time with my girlfriend then she goes off for college orientation, and then she'll be moving on.  I know I'm not supposed to look to the future, I'm supposed to enjoy the present, but uh, there's not much to enjoy.  I'm too tired to even do anything when i do have time off.  Blarg.  Ok, enough bitching.  Sorry about that folks.  At least I'll have 400 bucks next week to buy a gun to shoot myself.
Videodrome level in brain before work: 35%
Videodrome level in brain now: 70%
I'll be a zombie soon.  It was fun.  ::Waves::

heh.  I still am adunai enough to see the irony in all of this.

I had more ideas to write but they ellude me now, I'll add more later.

James Cook arrived in Australia, and saw a strange
jumping with a large pouch.
He went to an Aborigany and asked,
"what is this strange creature?"
and the aborigany shrugged and said

Go see the south park movie, I can so no more, I'm sworn to secrecy

I'm building a flying hamster wheel.  As the hamster runs, it will spin a propellor that will cause the entire contraption to levitate.  Prototypes and journal will soon follow.  It is called the strimbello.

Subject:         Teenager game
     Date:         13 Jul 99 04:20:00 MDT
    From:         John Hanson <john_hanson@usa.net>
        To:         jaevin@adunai.iwarp.com

Hi !
Sorry to appear a bit rude but...
Do you think it's funny to spoil the TAK forum with
your stupid game of 14-year old teenager ? It's stupid and dumb.

Subject:             Re: Teenager game
     Date:            Tue, 13 Jul 1999 16:07:26 -0700
    From:             "jaevin Blackpawn" <grateful@ix.netcom.comn>
        To:             John Hanson <john_hanson@usa.net>

Yes, yes I do think it's funny

People are so incredibly stupid.

I had some beautifully brilliant ideas about 20 minutes ago, and typically, they now elude me.

I must reiterate that Ninja Scroll is a serious must watch for all of you.

I want to put some sort of message bored on this page, if anyone knows hot to do that, it would be much appreciated if you could e-mail me and help me out.  I'm kinda too lazy to look it up.  Amazingly I did however have the time play everquest for 4 hours straight today.  It's a really cool game.

after you slash with your katana, don't swing through, stop.  it keeps it from getting caught in walls during important fights, can't you imagine your embarrassment in a post apocalyptic bar when you cut some guys head off and then the sword gets caught.

yeah, this update sucks *yawn*

Call it insanity, call it 6th sense, call it ninja intuition, but I always know as soon as I see something if it's going to be a major situation in my life.  I got this feeling today while watching a news report about a Midgit Convention.  I see my destiny coming clear.  although my dreams of someday becoming a dwarf will never be fullfilled, a door has opened to me into this world.  I will attend the next midgit convention.  I talked with Meg about it, and she said she's never take me back if I had a fling with a cute young 2.5 foot tall woman

Well.  I must find a different job.  I will most assuredly be a zombie by the end of next week if I stay here, and if that does happen, or if I turn this into a "I love walmart" page, it is your job, nay, your duty to blow me away with a shotgun.  I mean, look at my credentials:
Shaolin ninja master (trained by the imfamous Sensei Bill)
Knight of Aacenburg (ordained in 1997 by the arch duke of aacenburg, Grant Shefl)
Ordained minister (Ordained by the Universal Life church in 1999)
Obtainer of rare antiquities (Donated multiple rare pieces to museums that I discovered meself)
Adunai (discoverer of multi-dimensions, brother of christ, seer of the 4th dimension, all around master of balance)
Porn-star certified stud (see pic here,  yes it is a real porn star)
Webmaster extraordinaire (self evident in this page)
Graphic arts master (well, maybe not today, but someday)
did I mention I'm also an honorary: canadian and woman.  how many american guys can say that?
Yet, I cannot find a job that does not use any of my multiple talents.  I cannot find anything that doesn't require me to lobotimize myself.  I mean you'd think just one of those and I would be set for life.  I guess it's like the old saying "jack of all trades master of none." If you think todays update is pretty self serving, well, it is, I'm pretty low so I'm boosting my own ego :) anyways..  Mark my words, i will not be working for walmart next week.

I stole this picture from Seanbaby's page.  I believe it speaks for itself.  Yes, that is a midgit.

Excuse me, not job orientation, job training.  What that entails is 8 FREAKING HOURS OF CORPORATE PROPAGANDA, involving things like evil unions, dishonest competitors, and brainwashing us about how wonderful walmart is.  This is videodrome.  For those of you that don't know what videodrome is, it's a brain tumor inducing signal that can be used to control and manipulate people.  At birth, we start with a clean slate, but slowly, implemented through school, tv, ect, that level of tumor that inhabits our brain slowly grows.  When I realized what was happening, my brain was 35% videodrome.  This may sound like a lot, but most people by my age (18) are 100% infested, and are zombies. This may have happened to you, if so, I'm sorry.  Anyways, job orientation at walmart increased my tumor to 42% and only through the means of the adunai was I able to resist complete assimilation.  On the bright side i was paid 7 dollars an hour for sitting there ;)

Should I get Bulder's Gate or Everquest?  E-mail me (address above) and tell me what you think

I have a job orientation tomarrow at 9.  Great.  I can't wait to spend my summer under the hood of a car fixing parts for rich people who aren't smart, aren't attractive, aren't useful.  How did these people get rich in the first place?  I mean come on.

Fixed the Stories link.  Geocities sucks! and now that they've merged with yahoo, who also sucks, they are twice as bad.  Another example of the above situation.  Why do companies that suck and make retarded useless products do really well?  I mean, microsoft, AOL, Geocities, Yahoo, all turn out products that are so horrible as to be ignored by anyone who knows anything (cept microsoft, they have that whole monopoly thing going for them).  It's like the hacker's in highschool who use AOL on Macs, and everything things they're leet, or whatever the correct term is.  Yes that was a shot at someone I know.

Check out the adunai samarai page  click here

Sorry about the long delay of updates.  I got a new computer with grad money, as my pent 120 was fast becoming obsolete.
I've named this fearsome machine of quickness "Jubei the adunai computer"
My new specs:
amdk6:2 475
128 megs of RAM
10 Gig hard drive
8 meg videocard
40x CD-Rom
17 inch moniter

I've been playing Total Anhilation:Kingdoms, it's groovy.

Conesville, a sinful little souther iowa town, had just been "cleaned up" by an evangelist.  Made reckless by success, the evagelist processed to tackle the nearby hamlet of Oakland. But here he caught a tartar.  The Oaklandites absolutely refused to warm to his pleadings.  In desperation he launched a blow at their civic pride.
"Shame on you old sinners," he cried, to let your sister village to get ahead of you!  Why we've got the devil driven clean out of Conesville!"
There was a momentary silence. Then an old sinner on the front seat drawled out as he stroked his beard: "Don't you worry, he'll be back."

Well, I made the new banner, as you all can see.  Made a new background for the page, I hope everyone likes it, I think it's spiffy, and it's really really really small byte wise so it loads pretty fast.  Again I feel I should apologize for the lack of updates lately, because even when I have updated, it has really been substantial.  I promise for more fun, action packed stuff later

On recent news, my upcoming 8-bit wonder hit, the Arcade Supreme, has been all but ignored by all videogame publications and videogame news sources.  This comes to little surprise because I have yet to produce anything but the mega-cool logo.
Regardless, three games have been confirmed for this 8-bit powerhouse that should send nintendo and sony realing.  The first one is Poncho Villa: The early years which cronicles the mexican folk-lore hero's first tequila filled baby bottle to his chasing of a whore into a bordello when he was 7 years old.  The second one Circus Apocalypse works on the premise that no one likes clowns, and that should armageddon come, we'll prolly end up feeding these make-up'ed beasts into the gaping jaws of satan.
Last but not least is Pro Dwarf Boxing Delux 3000 which is the sequile to the Willow RPG for the original nintendo.  Although not having anything to do with the story/plot/characters, this new game shows the return of lil Mac (of Punch Out fame) to his home town of midgits, where apparently Godzilla had been attacking recently.  Join an all star cast including Mahow Mahow, Warwick Davis, a small band of samarai Oomp Loompas, and a mercenary Goat go to fight off Godzilla and his army of cute japanese school children.  The videogame commision has voted for an "M" rating (mature audiences only) and have also suggested to the board that I need mental help.

Much like the darwin fish is a knock on the jesus fish, I have devised a couple "clever" bumper stickers.
In case of Rapture, office will be unmanned.. as I will be wrecking out the will of my dark master
ACTUALLY scrap that whole idea.  All the ones I think of are just too bad for the main stream population of my page.

Which brings me to my next issue of context.  I, like most of you, am extremely jaded.  It takes something truly severely fucked up to bring a reaction out of me.  I believe then that for stimulus, we need a page based purely on horrific, utterly wrong shock based media.  This will be the part of my page, that, precluded with numerous disclaimers and warnings, will deliver whatever my brain can create, unfiltered my my own morality, my own beliefs or the society around us.  This will not be a page for most of you.  It will not be a page for the weak of heart.  It will be for those of you who laughed along with me when I saw that video about Budd Dwyer.  It will be for those of you who don't get that chuckle from the irony of life anymore and need something with true gumf.  It will be a slow process.  But I plan to bring this future section of my page straight to the darkest pits of hell.  Starting with me making fun of  common bumper stickers.  Does this sound good to you? well, i'll be damned if I let anyone see this stuff, wouldn't want innocent children running around and accidentally finding things that will destroy them for life.
if you want access to this dark, evil page, a simple e-mail will suffice, and I will give you the URL.
E-mail me:  Iwantintotheshockpage@adunai.iwarp.com

6.26.99 the new title will be announced monday, you better get those votes in.  I honestly don't care what it's called.  To me it's arbitrary
Just to fill you in, the reason I've been not updating very much is because I'm going through a long and treacherous process called "Zombiefication" despite numerous pleas to everyone, no one will euthanize me, as I slowly die of this lethal disease that will inevitably leave me a brain eating zombie.  Fortunately i'm sure James will take a 12 gauge and handle the Eric-Zombie when he comes, in good old fashioned Resident Evil style.  I've had a 104 temp at least 3 days straight, and I'm beginning to lose my will to live.  Just kidding.

I bought Jesse Ventura's book yesterday and have been reading it, it's pretty good.  I believe his way is the way to lead america back into being the one we all know of in our hopes, not this nightmare that has arisen in the practice.  2 Party systems are evil.  Not now, but someday I will put a different quote from his book every other day.

By the way..
Mahow Mahow won the first battle in the Combat section, and Jar Jar Binks won the second one.  Hail to the winners!!! The next combat round will be up as soon as I get around to it.

The guybrush page hasn't grown at all because my monkey island 2 CD is scfratched and unplayeable, once I get a replacement, I will keep going with helpful advice.

<brain quiver's evilly as I head back to my tomb>

I'm sorry I've been such a bum, i know it's been 6 days I just have been uh, I'm not sure.  Anyways, yesterday was graduation, I won a scholarship for "commitments and achievements at Serra Highschool"  I'd just like to say, that I ditched prolly half my classes my senior year, and also retained my "no homework policy".  The scholarship is also a surprise because I NEVER TURNED IN ANY SCHOLARSHIP APPLICATIONS.  Oh well, I will take it.

I'm also going to produce a movie.  The script/plot/story I'm still working out, but if anyone wants to help, i will need technical, monetary, writing, and actors assistance.   It's basically a physchological sci-fi with a little bit of violence.  It'll be good.

CHECK OUT THE   GLOSSARY  it will help clear up anything you don't understand about anything in this page.

Disclaimer: as I'm sure most of you know, I'm insane.  Consider this before you read today's update:

Using technology brought back from the future while on a recent vacation in the 4th dimension, we have extrapolated the formula of good and evil and balance, we ran it through our databanks at the adunai computer in our underground fortress in the middle of a subteranian lake.  If the numbers are correct, (and we're sure they are) the answer came out that the bringer of all evil and the masterminds behind the recent corruption of society is a group of drunken mexican desparados with aqualungs.  As soon as I announced this, the bandolier clad rogues leaped out of the water and laughed.
"ah ha you have found us out!It was us all the time! muhaha! Arriba!" they said, as they ran into the darkness shooting their pistols into the air.
All this can lead to only one thing! The emminent battle of good and evil:
 the adunai and cybernetic shaolin popeye (who drinks robotussin instead of spinach) against the drunken mexican desparados with aqualungs and the rest of society in an all out battle to save the easter bunny from the wicked snake haired nanny known as "Jujunator"
We are also sure that  Jubei  is on our side, because if he wasn't we'd already be dead.

Also, apparently the Spell Jammin Ram has iniatiated some sort of war against another site, (www.themushroom.com) whatever, stupid 7th dimensional space demi-god.  We'll keep you posted.

I know it appears like i've been a bum, but I've infact been working on a page that can only be described with this quote:
"Two midgit enters, one midgit leaves"
check out  THE FINAL BOUT  at this link.  http://adunai.iwarp.com/combat.html

by the way, I probably have a job now, I'm a sell out.

(Recent winners of the Darwin Awards from The Official Darwin Awards )

Elect world leader (taken from an e-mail I got)
 It is time to elect a world leader, and your vote counts.
 Here's the scoop on the three leading candidates.
Candidate A- associates with ward heelers and consults with a astrologists.
He's had two mistresses.  He chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a
Candidate B - was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used =
opium in college and drinks a quart of brandy every evening.
Candidate C - is a decorated war hero.  He's a vegetarian, doesn't smoke,
drinks an occasional beer and hasn't had any illicit affairs.
Which of these candidates is your choice??

 Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt
 Candidate B is Winston Churchill
 Candidate C is Adolph Hitler

Today is a day of enlightenment, so therefore, todays page will be dedicated to the lessons I've learned, instead of tactless humor.

Problems are easily solved.  We are hanging from a rope with infinity on all sides of us, and we are holding tight, we are holding unto everything in our past, but to move forward, we have to let go, and fall into the unknown.

Outside looks depend entirely on how one presents themselves and thinks of themselves.  I didn't believe this until I met a man that I believed was very sad, very unsure of himself, and presented himself accordingly.  About half way through the conversation, I realized the guy looked just like Mel Gibson, who although I have no opinion on the subject, women adore.  Which means if this guy would clean up and be assured of himself, and present himself as such, women would be all over him.  I don't know, remember this is the ramblings of a mad man.

Sheep/Shepard/Wolf scenario:
Jesus christ was the shepard leading the sheep away from the wolves.  Slowly, there were wolves in sheeps clothing pretending to be sheep following the herd and killing as they went.  Slowly more and more wolves came so his entire flock was filled with wolves.  He saw this, and left the snarling beasts pretending to be sheep to eat each other.  However, there are sheep left, and they are amidst the chaos of wolves eating wolves, (Dog eats Dog) and it is the job of the shepards to save them and make a new flock.  I believe I am a new shepard.  I believe the so-called christians are generally wolves in sheeps clothing.  I believe Jesus Christ is my brother.  Church is evil.  It is corrupted.  Long live the new flesh.

The best way to fight is not be where the enemy can attack.  The best defense is to defend where it cannot be attacked, and the best offense is to attack where it cannot be defended.  If you can't beat them join them.  That statement is so profound I cannot express the true meaning in mere words I just hope you can find it yourself.  The best way to fight a circle is with a straight line.  The best way to fight a straight line is with a circle.

May the adunai lead us to salvation.

Mark this as the day, I, Eric Neil Drewes, an insatiable rogue and hardly responisible at best, have triumphed over tyranny and graduated high school, against all odds.  Despite all the people who had no faith in me, I'd like to thank those of you who knew that despite my (fatal?) flaws, I could indeed pass something as easy and trivial as highschool.  For those of you wishing to send graduation gifts, send money, checks, or severed heads of my hated enemies to:
Eric Drewes
25601 Via Inez Rd
San Juan Capistrano 92675, CA

if any of you wonder if I'm afraid to put my address up on the internet, I'm not.

I have added a bunch of stories to my story page.  2 by james and 3 by me, including one I wrote this morning.
please read them and tell me what you think.  Also, get your friends to vote for the title of my page, I will end the voting next week and then choose the title.
I've built a webpage to show off the new action figures based on me and my derelect group of wickedly cool friends.  If you're not up there, then you should message me you name, code name, and 3-7 catch phrases
 Action Figure Homepage

I made a webpage to share the wisdom I learned from a great guru
it's called  Everything I learned about anything I learned from guybrush threepwood

I've added a politics page, it's short, but it has a poll!
Help name my stupid webpage!
What'd be a good title for this page

Current Results

I read an article (ok, the first paragraph of one) today about how the cloned sheep "Dolly" is genetically catching up age wise to ths sheep it was cloned from.  Which means genetically, it knew how old it was it, and that it had adjusted itself.  I find this interesting, because to me that means that scientists were wrong all along when they said that things like experience and memories weren't in DNA.  If it could remember it's age, why couldn't it remember conditioned responses?  I could be wrong, remember, I'm extrapolating this from a paragraph off some newspaper I was reading, but this could mean that memories could be passed on genetically.  It certainly makes sense in some aspects of life and it would definitly give the idea of 'racial memory' some credence.  I don't know.

I've put together a page'o'fun click here

Prom was friday, I had a good time, and racked up 20 points with my girlfriend.  I think I have the point scale figured out with girls.  When a girl says you get points, it means 3 or 4.  When a girl says you get major points, it's 7 or 8.  Whenever you do something wrong, it's automatically 10 points down.  For taking my girlfriend to dinner, buying her flowers and dancing with her at prom, I racked up a healthy 20 points.  I got 15 points the subsequent day for not being my usual screw up self, giving me 35 points for the weekend.

One thing I learned while I was at prom was that I actually an ok dancer.  I figured out my problem.  See, most peoples heart beats go "thump, thump, thump" in a pretty organized, binary pattern.  However, mine beats to the little spanish flea theme, whichs causes my internal rythm to be all off.  So now instead of dancing to the beat, I dance to my own, and I actually end up not being to bad.

I have finally finalized the name of my shaolin ninja nihilist dynamic paladin zealot monks.  We are called the adunai, the people of the new flesh.  All will fear us.    You have to be adunai to become adunai.

"A mind is a terrible thing to taste," Daryl Kingsmen, a recent patient at Bob Parker's Center for zombie rehabilition was quoted as saying.  The center picked him up when his neighbor, Jon Arbuckle, reported his ghastly devouring of his family.  "I just did what any good, church going citizen would have done.  I couldn't hear the TV over all that screaming"  He's reported saying.  Jon was wearing a "I hate zombies" t-shirt at the time of the interview.

My girlfriend Meg and I called 411 and asked them the secret of life.  In response, we got an evil sounding woman, who said this:  "This is directory assistance sir, we look up numbers, I don't have time to play games."
heh... I guess you would have had to been there.

So you notice no new title.  Delayed by quality control man "Buzz" the new release date will be shown when we know it's ready.

5.18.99 (the new title has been delayed until next monday)
I saw the new star wars movie: The Phantom Menace, today, and it was pretty damn good.  After the movie, I was iniated as a jedi knight by means of self-ordanation.  That means I am a nihilistic ninja paladin jedi knight who is part of the new flesh.

If I were to hold a beauty contest, it is obvious Meg Thiel would come easily in first.  But a not as close as one would expect second is star wars star Natalie Portman, who played Amadala in the new movie.  See her pic  Here .

Fat People in funny hats, what could be better? The answer is a samarai midgit named Mahow Mahow.  Trained in Shaolin Chuan Fa, master Mahow Mahow successfully extrapolated the lost 5 death arts from pinan one and and the south side of 2 man fist set.  (if you don't get that, it's ok, euthanasia isn't here yet, BUT it's coming).
When asked in an interview, Mahow replied, "voy a matarte, liberate tute me." He later went on to mak the sign of the beast , slowly chanting "Long live the new flesh"  Whether or not her will -as- expected become the next Kefka is yet to be seen.  Those kooky midgits, what will they think of next.? In my humble opinion, the light of judgement.

My band, Messiah Delux has released it's hit single based on this event .  What kind of music does our band play? ninja music.
You can download the mp3 - hear - Messiah Delux - Budd for President

Our next releases will be titled: Give me my giant zipper back, hairboy.
                                               Jesus was a nihilist
                                               Get out of my way cushion boy
                                               You should all be wearing velcro shoes
                                               Don't throw nickels at me when I'm riding my bike from your car
                                               Symphony of the Ninja


Tomarrow, the page title will be unrevealed.  ::Drum roll please::

The first game for the Arcade Supreme will be 'Life' it will start with just a black screen, and people will think that it is broken, but slowly as they get frusterated and hit the keys randomly in succession, it will slowly fade into existance, where you are a being, suspended in an infinite void, and you move around, and learn how to control yourself, and gradually you find out how to move through the world and it gets bigger, but then you learn that is just small.  There is no way to win, and the only point of the game is to play.  8 Bit games rule!

Life a big train, and people get on, and they get off when they have reached their destination, and you wave good bye to them as you pass them.  It is sad to see friends go, and sometimes, when they get off that train, you don't even meet them up later.  It is important to remember the good times, and keep going.  You're fortunate if you find a person to stay with you the whole trip.  I think my train falls off a cliff.  Muhaha.  Anyways, for everyone that have lost their way and aren't on the train with me, good luck with your lives, and I wish you happiness.  I'm a sap.

here is my feelings about Jesus Christ: (the last time I ever say anything religious on this page)
he is the pillar of truth, he has the courage we lack to remain true to his ideals, and never compromise and never sell out.  He is the kind of person who forgives people no matter what they do.  He is the ultimate nihilist, he is the model for everyone to take themselves after, to resist tempation and never sell out.  Whether he exists or not is arbitrary to me, it's his image that is whats important, and it's his image that I think the christians and catholics of today have lost.  he takes the blame for everything, he is the guy who looks at the shit that happens, and says 'this all isn't entirely my fault, but I will bite the bullet and take the blame.  He forgives us because he is the one that takes the blame, he takes other's blame.  Whether he existed or not is irrellevent, it's the idea of who he is, the perfect man, that is whats important.

2 days until the page title is revealed.

Nihilistic or Circus Freak
Do you think it's funny to be a nihilist?

Current Results

I need a few billion dollars to make the ULTIMATE videogame system.  It will be eight bit, and have a two button controller.
The design will cost a couple bucks to a free lance engineer, and a couple thousand for a factory in mexico to mass produce it.  The reason I need the billions and billions of dollars is this: I have to destroy every other videogame system.  If it takes corporate espionage, billions spent in advertising, free samples, bribes, I will have the top system of the year 2000, and it will be 8 bit.

In 5 days, I will unviel the official title of this page.  You will all be excited.  The NPC's Will dance.

I have now become a remort avatar in real life, giving me infinite rule over all npc's in this mud we call life. so there!

5.10.99 (early update)
The only way for the governmental system to thrive and provide it's services uncorrupt, it must have some sort of competition.  Basically all a government is, is a business that provides numerous services (roads, police, millitary, welfare) for a charge, taxes.  But it is a monopoly, and basically gets power crazy.  Maybe if we formed a competing organization that would provide those things for a better price, the US system would change to provide better service.  Of course, like Bill Gates, the government would smash our business like the insects we are.

Bah, well yesterday Atrix and I were aprehended by a rent-a-cop outside a dentist office.  Supposedly we were 'suspicious looking'  This incedent has once again proved that I need a fake alias and ID so I don't have to really deal with this kind of crap.
E-mail me to vote on which name I should register my fake ID under.
A) Maxwell Shepard
B) William Fuld
C) James Taggart

Hmmmmmmmm, I had something to say earlier, but oh well, maybe I'll do an update later.

there is a big dance club that is internationally famous for having the worlds greatest dancer and these guys go there, and there is a show with a flashy guy in a sparkly hat, but while he is good, he is clearly not the greatest dancer.  So they go to the manager, and tell them that he isn't as good as they thought and the worlds greatest dancer was a hoax, and the manager tells them that that wasn't the worlds greatest dancer, the worlds greatest dancer was out the door at the end of the hallway.  So they walk down the end of the hall way, and go out, and it an exit to an alleyway, and they are all pissed because they spent all this time to meet the greatest dancer, and they were scammed.  Walking out of the alley way, they meet a bum, who asks them whats wrong, they tell him that they were disapointed because they didn't get to meet the greatest dancer and the bum says "I am the greatest dancer in the world!" and he was.  The bum then starts to bust a move, and the that is how I learned to dance.

Tomarrow is Cinco de Mayo.  This is important for two reasons, first, I finallyt get unbanned from gemstone, and secondly, nostradamus (who predicted everything with fair accurasy) predicts it will be the end of the world.  So dance away my friends.

I figured out why I don't eat pork.  Here is an interview:
Cyandraa: why wouldn't you eat pork?
Jaevin: it is sick
Cyandraa: why?
Cyandraa: are you a vegetarian?
Jaevin: no
Cyandraa: ok...why is it sick?
Jaevin: it's a pig, they roll around in shit and mud all day, there skin is rubbery and pink, they get sunburned, it's like eating a fat, underbathed pink human.  Like a redneck.

Well, it's monday. to fight off the evil that is the school/work week, I have built you all a  SpaceMoose homepage

Join the Order of Nihilists that I have started, apply now and get a free high rank in the secret society!

What I find amazing about Shakespeare is dispite the fact that everyone thinks he is exceptional playwright he in fact, is. Although the school system seems to be doing everything in its power to ruin his writings by forcing me to analyze it to death and by ... Well teaching in the way that they teach everything because they are too lazy to attempt to have us learn anything. And of course it requires much less effort to just have us commit to memory the particulars of his writing rather then take those actions which would have us learn in the way learning is should be. But thatís another topic, in any case my point is that if you look past all of the overanalyzed views,
the brainwashing,  and line by line deceptions and instead just read his plays and other assorted writings in the manner they are meant to be, they are very enjoyable.
Thatís all for now. Though you could probably guess that by the fact you shall soon perceive there will cease to be new words in that order and particular structure which define this statement.

4.28.99 (Final update)

On a serious note (for reals) I've written my final thought on school shootings,   click here

School system's motto: Just because people can't speak the language, doesn't mean they should pass anyways, you pass because you tried hard even though you don't speak english. Who cares if you don't know who the fuck george washington is, this is the only way we can make sure we are pollititcally correct, this is america, everyone is equal, and we should crucify anyone who says different, because they are racist.  Who cares if you instantly can grasp every concept we give you, you must do 12 years of homework so that you can memorize them, not just understand the very basis of the concepts given.  And go to church.

I got a letter from an inmate!  Yes, I have joined a list of penpals who write to female inmates.  She sounds like she got a bum wrap, of course.  Anyways, I hope they don't come after me when they get out, that would suck.  She told me to send a picture of myself.

I will be setting up a movie review page, so if you have any good movies that should be reviewed, tell me.

*Update* 4.26.99 (Updated edition)
It's time I talk about things that bother me. Specifically, the government
 What the hell is wrong with it? It started out good enough, based on firm foundations.  Our founding father's even built in procautions like checks and balances in order to keep out corruption.  But as we all know, it failed miserably.  Our government and everything about it is corrupt, just as corrupt as the media, and society in general. I believe one of the causes of this is the idea of equality, and how it is misinterpretted. You see, the idea that we are all equal is completly and utterly wrong.  We are not all equal, we are all different, we all have different strength's and weaknesses.  What I believe it meant was that everyone should be given an equal opertunity to succeed or fail.  But instead, how it is viewed, is that we should all be equal regardless of whether we are intelligent, educated, well suited, disabled, or not.  I'm sorry to say this, but I beleive an employer should be able to hire a man over a woman because he doesn't want to deal with her wanting to get pregnant, and having to pay a bunch of her bills without getting called a sexist.  If a woman is well qualified and commited to doing her job, more power to her! She should obviously be just as respected as any man that is equally qualified.  But I don't want an underqualified woman getting as job over a qualified man just because she is a woman.  Its like firefighters, a woman being less strong then a man could cost lives, but people are up in arms if there are no women.  On the other hand, there are men who are also in jobs they shouldn't be in.  A man shouldn't be hired over a better qualified woman who wants to be a career woman just because he is a man.  I have no point, I just realized.  I guess I just don't believe the government should force employers to make special acceptions for people, because if they want jobs, then they shou;d make sure they are suited for the job they are after.  If I was a one armed man I wouldn't expect to be hired as heavy labor.  If I couldn't speak ittalian, I wouldn't try to get a job as an interpretter.  People aren't equal, and they never will be.  It is our differences that make us human.  Law shouldn't try to enforce the policy that everyone is equal, and schools shouldn't try to make everyone be the same either.

Censorship is important in such a way that it can stop propaganda, and stop people from seeing things they don't want to.  When is consorship allowed? When the message can be said in such a way that is understood the same without hurting people, there is no reason for censorship.  Commonsense and respect should take the place of censorship. Well, live and learn.

*Links* 4.25.99
I'M SORRY i haven't updated the page.
uh, Prince William (yes, that flamer) has reportadly started smoking to look cool.  Not only is he 16, this kid is a total retard, and when my government comes in to world domination, he will be euthanized.  What did he do to get famous anyways? He was born, and his mom died! Thats it!  talk about worthless... and if any of you british mooks have a problem with it, you have two solutions:
A) Bite Me
B) E-mail me stuff so I can make fun of you

Ah, let us now discuss the situation wedsnday where 2 highschool students in trenchcoats attacked their school to get their revenge on their oppressors.  Lets discuss this.  Kids make their lives a living hell, they can't fit in, they can't make friends, they feel angry when they see other people laughing.  Is this wrong? Who made people this way? What is the solution? Well, it is if they take guns and shoot people to try to make things right, then this world is a pretty sorry place.  I mean, I can see their reasoning, but in all honesty, it gets us no where, and just hurts a lot of people, and ruins a lot of lives. Of course, continuing the policy of survival of the fittest, the two shot themselves.  Combining this and the fact that 90% of their bombs didn't work, these kids weren't that brilliant.  Stupider yet, is all the families of the victims and the media trying to blame video games like FF7.  Yeah.  Whatever guys.  Why don't we just blame everything on video games and that way we can just pretend like nothing is wrong.  Also, the maker's of the movie "The Basketball Diaries" are offering refunds to everyone who sends back that movie.  Why? because Leonardo Dicraprio wore a trenchcoat and killed people at school.  Yeah, that must be the 'Trenchcoat Mafia's' inspiration.  It is the ambition of all teenage outcasts to be just like that teen idol.  Or we could just kill ourselves.

Everyone can rejoice, this friday, I have purchased a new Poncho since the other two I've had are MIA.  Along with Poncho, I have a new party member Remo the Wizard, given to me by Ninja Princess Nicole.  Remo, despite being a wine fan, is not gay.

Bored while being a passenger in a car?  It all started with me waving at people with my girlfriends 'Grover' beanie baby, and having them wave back. This trend has spread with a compulsion to get fellow drivers response to cute characters dancing from inside the car.  So far the oddest response of all was a japanese guy, in a honda, skinny and looking like a f*cked up siamese cat letting go oh the wheel to press his face against the window.  I'm not quite sure how to explain it, but it was about the weirdest thing I've ever seen, and thats saying something.  Maybe he was high...

In my continued attempt to bring down the government, I'm going to start campaining for  Dan Quayle

I'm a porn star certified stud:  Click Here

Because I was lame and missed the last update for 4.17.99, I have found one picture that represents the universe as a whole, and I believe will revolutionize your mind in such a way that you will never be the same.   Click here

Evidently, i've been initiated into the Sisterhood.  No, I'm not a nun.  Go  here hahahhaha

I come up with lots of good stuff to share with you mooks, but I always forget it.

I've just been notified that I've called you mooks two days in a row.  Good.

If you take a cow skull and view only half of it, you can see a profile of elvis' face.  View  here  (taken from a Danzig album)

Ziggy has gone to the pits of comic hell alongside Peanuts.  Click Here and find the Ziggy e-mail address and tell him to stop being so god damn fruity.  E-mail me what you wrote, and you could become a winner! Huzah!

*Update*  4.14.99
I am sick today, which means I have time to do all the updates I've been meaning to do.  Sorry for the delay.

I watched a couple episodes of the Andy Griffith show, and I believe it has some good wisdom in it.  In todays, we learned that authority is bad, and to just defy them and do your own thing if it works.

19 year old christian chicks came to my door today to pass out christian literature, they started out with their normal spleel which I sorta payed attention to, and then they started flirting with me.  I find this kind of odd, becuase what the hell? they come to my house, try to force their religion on me, and then pick up on me.  Sheesh.  Women.
OH! I forgot to mention to them, and you, that yesterday 4/13/99 I was ordained a minister.  Need proof? gohere

We are adding a section on the page in the form of political critism written by my good friend pike.  As the russians learned long ago, the only thing worthwhile is to jeer at everything.  That was before communism of course, which is beside the point.
 Pike's Column

There is a company blacklist page now at the Corporate Espionage list

This page has a new system, each days news will be sepperated out by spacers.  There will be a code for how it will be set up daily. Here is the legend
*Update* - means the page has been changed, new formats, new pages.
*NEW* - means a new page has been added (ie New art, new stories, new Q/A)
*Links* - means there has been a new link added.

Are you ever lonely? Well, call 411, your friend in need! On one occasion, I wasted 3.00$'s in loose change calling them and asking what the secret of life was.  Here are my responses.
First Man said, "the secret of life? to take it easy."
First Woman says, "a million dollars, wait, true love"
I think this illistrates the key difference between men and women.  I'll let you make your own conclusions.

Bored? Goto  www.Bored.com  where there are links to many exciting web pages.  Take the densa tests, and I'll put the results up on a page, just e-mail how many you got right.  In case you're wondering I got 11.  I missed the damn pill question, oh well.

To learn about the threat of an assult upon the earth from miniature creatures read this warning.

Many Scientists and morons think that rock formations on Mars are messages to anyone who happens by, written by the
evidently extict Martians.  These wild speculations came to a head tonight when this picture was sent from the Mars mission

When I saw this, I was shocked, so I went to NASA for information.  They would not reply, so I asked my cousin, and he is
reported to say "The people on mars were obvioly intelgent enough to relize that in genral earthlings would be better off if they all
commited suside and what seems to be a hostle message may in fact have been a final pearl of wisdom before they died out.
That or there is an insane vanilditc bent alien on the loose"

I AM FREE!!!  Liberation day was may 5th.  Long live the simutronics dictatorship!!
My favorite videogame is called "Gemstone" it's online and text based. It is fun, and I've played for years and years, but I never get very high level because I get high enough to kill people, then I do so.  I kill some many people for no reason, they end up banning me, and I have to start all over.  I currently have a level 5 sorcerer, in the cell.  Whats the cell?  It's a place where they don't let you sit down, or talk or anything.  Worse yet, I'm dead.  E-mail  Simutronics  and demand my freedom.  Paste me the what you sent, and I may put you on the winners! page.  Then you'll be cool.
[The Cell]
You are in a specially-created exitless room.  This room was created because of your unacceptable activities in GemStone, which will no longer be tolerated.  Please contact us at lockout@simutronics.com for further information, if you desire.
Obvious exits: none.
[You are currently dead]