Ich bin trauriges nicole! ich nehme Sie zum Mall tomarrow.:), wenn Sie wünschen.

ni·hil·ism (n-lzm, n -)     n.
5.Psychiatry. Ein delusion, erfahren in etwas Geistesstörungen, die die Welt oder irgendjemandes
Verstand, Körper oder Selbst existierent nicht.

meine Fische sind mysteriously disapeering.. wie ungerade.

überprüfen Sie aus diesem Link:   klicken Sie hier,   wenn Sie wünschen

Pfosten auf dem Meldung Brett!

                              1994 -- Jose Chavez, 24, auf wie er
                              ermittelt, daß ein Skull, den er in a gefunden hatte
                              Abfalldose in Lennox, Calif., im Mai, war menschlich: " I biß sie an
                              der Ansatz zum Überprüfen es war real. Das ist, wie Sie prüfen Sachen. ",

  GaijinSenshi: hoi
PeZ GrRrLy: O.K.
GaijinSenshi: ich möchte Süßigkeit aus Ihrem eingehängten Kopf heraus essen
PeZ GrRrLy: was die Hölle?
GaijinSenshi: ich möchte Ihren Kopf hochdrücken und die köstliche Süßigkeit essen, die herauskommt
PeZ GrRrLy: das uhh gehen weg
GaijinSenshi: ' pez " erhalten es.
GaijinSenshi: Christ.

hehe, habe ich Schuletomarrow.

Schauen Sie, ich schrieb eine Geschichte:   Zeit, sie   ist zu sterben ganz über spockrache

                              1995 --   Im Februar
                              William Williams, 34 und Robert Williams, 32,
                              wurden in DES Moines, Iowa festgehalten und aufgeladen mit dem Brechen
                              in eine Änderung Maschine und eine reinigende Maschine an ein a
                              Laundromat. Ein Augenzeuge zum Verbrechen unterstützte Polizei, sogar
                              obwohl die Männer angeblich gedacht hatten, konnten sie sie kaufen
                              Silence durch das Geben ihr einiger kleiner Pakete des Reinigungsmittels von
                              die Maschine.

" jemand, das einen Mann treten würde, wenn er unten ist, muß das niedrigste Stück von s sein --- das kroch überhaupt heraus von unterhalb eines Felsens zur plaugemenschheit mit ihm ist loathesome egsistance. ", - James

" alle $überschneidung kann zurück zu einfachem miscommunication verfolgt werden. ",

james, lassen Sachen nicht so   unten gehen.
ich bedeute, gehe an

Christ.
  Schauer heraus.
O.K., traurig
es ist okay
Dank
 

so hey Nagel ohne Kopf, fuck weg, Sie nicht sogar wissen

  So war was geschehen?
er hatte ließ den Zorn das beste von ihm erhalten, und er drehte weg alle, die sich näherten.   Sein Blatt hielt er in Richtung zu allem WARNING sie zum weg Bleiben an.   Unterdessen war'ed er mit über der Weise, sein Durcheinander anzufassen.
Aber das Tier, als gesagtes i, hat es soll Tagesordnung besitzen.   Es drehte was einmal eine schöne Sache der Kreation in ein leistungsfähiges Hilfsmittel der Selbstzerstörung war, das beckenoned das paladin, um zu rasen, trieb ihn zur Geisteskrankheit an, aber bildete sobald großes Warriorbeben mit frusteration.   Für ihr war keine Freigabe der Schmerz, die er in seinem Inneren sich fühlte, keine Freigabe für die Raserei er sich nach innen fühlte, und sie hielt ihn zurück.
und nach unten gehalten ihm.
Mit nichts, innen zu glauben, seine Familie, die, sein Vertrauen im Pfad der Wahrheit gegangen, seine Freunde weg gehen gegangen wurde, hatte er n *** TRANSLATION ENDS HERE ***o choice but to turn inward.

Slowly he accepted it, he accepted that in life, one must temper his rage, or drive all away from him.
He also learned that loyalty, and honor were not true things.   they were of man, they were dreams.
He had tried to fight the good fight, but when all the things he had faith in
love
trust
wisdom
friendship
had failed him, what exactle was the good fight?
how can you remain true to yourself if you have no self to remain true to.
how can you expect to find solace in life?

the paladin sheathed his sword, he felt dishonored, and unworthy of the blade.
he was no longer a pillar of truth, because he had learned, that even truth would let you down
all he had believed in, all he had hope in, were gone.
Yet, he remained.
He tried to keep the beast at bay, and rebuild that which he had destroyed, but to no avail.   His path of sorrow, anger and destruction was too long, and too dark to be mended,   or even understood.   All those he had, had forgotten what he once was, long ago, and knew only the monster that had manifested itself in his time of need.   He stood no chance of redemption.
no chance of reconcilation with those he had once called comrades.   (or so he thinks?)

now a lone swordsman stands on the cliff, overlooking a land he once fought for.   leaving behind all he had loved.   He keeps his sword sheathed, and locked, knowing too well the deadliness and hatred he is capable of wielding, he must now walk the path in a new light.
all was not lost.
not yet anyways.

JAMES: click here

leave a man to lick his wounds.

SQQQQQQQQQQUAACKKKkkkk...

meow.

sometimes things spin out of control and you can't contain them
sometimes this is a good thing, sometimes it's a bad thing
but it happens
it's happening now.

kup......o

avoid sharp objects.

<yawn>
it's my brother's birthday

i don't think you guys are being bastards.
i don't think   it wasn't my fault for pushing you away
I don't even pretend to talk to you all, so where is the problem?

i have 166 new e-mails because i don't check it anymore
i'm not going to check those either
sorry

cept yours luna, of course

I wish i had a giant sledge hammer that could smash whatever needed smashing
72% on the battery

er.. 71%

don't read this webpage, it's not for you
it's not for anyone, it doesn't exist.

all the updates i do that i don't really feel like doing come out like this
i'm just going on for no reason but something to do while i'm waiting to go to dinner

titan ae is a good movie in that it has good special effects and it presents itself well. nothing in it is new, but it's still good.

"mind if i cut in?"
"more the merrier"

is something wrong here?
nein.

why not?
why would there be?

the baby was born and it wasn't right
it was deformed and mutated
it had three heads
one arm
and 17 toes
when it was one, it would drag itself around with its arm, and it's toes would move along like catapiller feet
it's cry was truly beautiful because it was a chorus
when it grew up, it joined a freak show at the circus but was soon fired because no one wanted to see it
so it bought a harmonica and a piano, and learned to play with it's toes
it was a one freak band
and i'm going on and on about something stupid
for no reason
and if you're still reading,
i'm sorry

i'm sorry
i didn't meen it i swear.
I SWEAR
hehe
 

<yawn>
nothing, i really don't have much to say i guess.
maybe later.

"I like a good cigar, but not when it explodes"

hey, should i quit my job?
lala..

i have updates to do, but i want pictures and i need to scan them

i'm on my laptop

chanel, babeeeeeee
i'm sorry
you know i am.
call me!!!!
or not.

uhm..

SHAFT@@
"too black to for the cops, too blue for the brothers"
SHAFT

my baby turtle is getting bigger, soon it will be old enough to fly and eat cities.
SHAFT

messiah deluxe has it's first REAL REAL mp3, IM me to get it.

I have a new screen name: JaevinBlackpawn.
I don't like it, but everyone refuses to give me a new name so i guess it'll suffice to i have an epiphony of my true self.
or something like him.

don't blame me,
i'm a nihilist.

love you
special loves to the following:
K, H, C, M, M, and God.
because god gave me a chicken burrito, and i ate it.

...
So,whats up?
nothing
...
Long time no see.
yep.
...
Hows life?
same as ever
...

VRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooom...
accelerate to 65, because thats the speed limit, and i dont break the law.

i should fill you all in on something:
I have nothing

oh well, fuck it.   I guess.
not much i can do.

I guess i'm a monster
just like life in general.

-
i'm listening to a white rapper,
heheh..

Management of this webpage is changing soon, headquarters think i have good material, but no editing skills, no discipline, and no consistancy.

did you miss me when i've been gone on my month hiatus?   I didn't think so, I bet i don't even have any readers left, i probably never had them in the first place.   I just liked to think i wasn't just writing all this stuff to my self.   It was a nice fantasy.

I guess i don't care.
I guess.
 

FRUSTERATION
tied up, unarmed, no one at my back, no one on my side, no self-trust, no self confidence, alone and drifting

through   space

as if thats anything new

hello?
hell
.
.
.
.
..o

how are you?
who?
you.
I'm ok.
just ok?
yup
k.

just keep doubting me
you've already made me doubt myself

it's like trying to force my desire to provide for me.
so much
desire.

I am selfish because i can't be happy without providing a little hope to all the poor saps that are just like me w/ nothing but the incessant, powerfully driven need to force an infinite amount of abstract beauty and purity for others to see, and the frusteration that this, is probably the best i can do.

A bunch of senseless gibberish that is me trying to tell you all that life and everything is beautiful
i'm guessing the majority of passion i have for this is lost in the translation.

what can i do/
nothing.

I'm lost
alone
afraid
and hurt

AND INVINCIBLE

5.2.00
Things will now come your way - a fortune cookie I recieved.
little did i know what it meant.

(i'll write a more official story of this later..)
Well, I was in jail.
(i'm sick of retelling, so this is gonna be concise)
What happened? I was sitting in my car listening to music, and a cop rolled up.
He wanted me to get in his car, i asked why, they didn't say anything, i told them no, resisted when they tried to force me..
*Pow* slug to the face, pepper spray, three guys on me.. *whack* *whack* still i struggled, big fat cop comes from behind me
puts me in a sleeper hold, i know i'm out.. i stop struggling, good night sweet prince.
Face smashed into the concrete..
they kicked me while i was down. (face, ribs)
in and out of consciencness..
blood and pepper spray, and tears and sweat dripping unto the cement..
i try to stand, they kick me down.

i don't remember the ambulance, i don't remember the fire engine.

I was put in the back of the car, driven around, first to jail (they rejected me cause my pulse was too high) then to the hospital (nurse gave me soda and water, i was hand cuffed to the gerny) brought back to jail.

cops are being stupid and trying to make fun of me by calling me a ninja (i had a katana in my back seat)
dazed, i told them "you're lucky i'm not a real ninja"

the hand cuffs were tight.   I asked them to loosen them, they made them tighter..

I was put into a holding cell and left for 2 hours.
Soon, other people were brought in w/ me and we went around cell to cell getting booked, i finally saw a mirror, my face was pretty black and purple.
We got to a room w/ a payphone and so i called my grandparents.   They refused the call.   I got depressed, felt pretty alone.
The other guys urged me to try again.
i did.
got refused again..

Now i was in jail, charged w/ a felony (possession of a deadly weapon) and i figured my family had decided to leave me in jail.
Logically, suicide made sense.   Jail guard picked up on it.. they sent me to the suicide ward.

Where they took off my jail jumpsuit and gave me a 3 x 2 foot tarp vest, and nothing else, and put me in a little room.
It was very cold in there, and i had nothing but a little foam mattress, and the tarp.
the air condition was blowing 24 hours a day..
i sat there hundled up with my tarp thing wrapped around me for about 36 hours.. nothing to do, and i couldn't sleep.
SPACE MADNESS>
for sure.
I blocked up the AC vent w/ wet toilet paper..
After awhile a psychologist came by and asked me questions, i answered, i was taken off suicide watch but left in my little cell, but i got my orange jump suit back, and socks and shoes (no shoe laces, wouldn't want me to HANG myself..)
I slept good that night

Anyways, third day in the morning, i went on the jail bus w/ 30 other guys (felons, convicts, drug dealers, ect) i was hand cuffed to one, we never talked to each other, i don't remember what he looked like at all, not race, hair color..
In the bus we listened to the radio, nothing good was on though.

I sat in the court jail w/ a bunch of guys.   Jail is funny, because the bad guys are pretty nice, and most of the time we were trying to block up the air conditioning w/ magazine pages or talking about playstation or talking about how much trouble we were in.
Never saw a judge, never saw a public defender, never saw anyone while i was there (still hadn't even spoken to my family)
A deputy came and had me sign a paper so my mom could get my car out of the impound lot.
I sat for another few hours, everyone had their turn 'cept me..
finally the same deputy (a girl w/ glasses) told me my mom said "call me when you get out tonight and i'll pick you up"

I went back to my little cell (got a quick shot of bad mojo when that door slammed me in again) and ate my dinner (two oranges, one i had saved from lunch) and then sat and waited for them to tell me what was going on..

So i was released.. no charges were filed, no one ever talked to me, i didn;t know anything.   I got my stuff back, my clothes back

My manager maureen was there to pick me up, i was suprised, but i guess she had figured everything out.. She rocks.

I was happy to be free.

I rested for a day, then my dad flew out from ohio to visit me.

Went back to work friday, worked all weekend.
Worked all week.
<Yawn>
now i'm here writing this.

JAIL LESSONS:
Listen to everything they say.
Don't tell them you want to commit suicide
Don't have an attitude, most of the inmates are nice guys, and you'll get along well.
Jail sucks.

maybe i will anyways, despite my decision not to.
woke up, (slept in clothes and shoes yesterday)
called work, told them my car was out of gas and since when i work is arbitrary and i had made the decision to work today as opposed to tomarrow yesterday, i figured it'd be no big deal.   However my manager didn't feel that way, because she was dragged out of bed early after closing the night before, because another manager forgot to wake up to open the store this morning.   So i begged my mom for money, got gas, went to work.
work was lame, i didn't finish everything i was supposed to ( i had gotten in 130 boxes yesterday, and 30 today) and i didn't have time to cart all the books, and there was no room anyways on the carts.   It was a stupeed bloody mess.
On the bright side, when i went to get the ladder at Dietrichs Coffee next door, i asked the chick there if she wanted me to hit anybody w/ it and she said yes, all the customers.
40 minutes passed 6 (when i was off) i left the store.

Got to my car, my remote wouldn;t work, the key to get in the car was in the car, i was screwed.
Asked the guy at electronic's boutique if i could borrow a battery, he gave it to me, i tried again.   No go.
So, after going back and forth between EB and my car, trying variations of battery's ect., i sat beside my car, in the cold, and rain clouds looming and decided to wait there until i died or something good happened.   I wish i had my harmonica, because that'd be a good time to play it, unfortunately, it was LOCKED IN MY CAR.

My manager kevin saw me there, and offered to call AAA, so he did, the truck arrived, they tried to get in, and after numerous attempts succeeded in doing so.   .... key in the ignition, nothing.   We tried to jump it, nothing.   Evidently, the alarm killed the battery and now nothing would work.   So the car is still in the parking lot.   I'm at home.   The end.

e-mail me, i miss you guys

the wall was too high he could not break free

I went to disneyland today, and well, it kinda made me feel destructive? why? because a company uses mass marketed propaganda ridden, lifeless media to suck money from people? no.
I wanted to kill everyone because sitting there, with thousands of people around me doing the same thing, human being started to blend.   I was overwhelmed by them, they all blured together and began looking like mutants and such.   I also realized i was one of them, and it just seemed so... blarg.
Anyways, disneyland is a good place if you like videodrome and/or dull space madness.

Fade away
fading away
and gone.

SPACE MADNESS RIDE:
you get in it, and you sit there. it's a little white pod.   it has a smooth white cieling and smooth white walls.   You can walk a little bit and maybe jump around a bit, but thats it.   It's you, and the walls, and a little terminal.
The terminal has a keypad.   When you put in the password, you get to get out.
otherwise you stay there forever.

SHOOT FROM THE HIP.

Tzar is a cool game, you get to make cloaking ninjas who can kill everyone.

physical manifestation of the uncarved block right now.   I hate being a medium.

GOD PAINTED THE WORLD WITH EVOLUTION

Iwishihadahandfoldedrazorsharpkatana

there were four of us, we got on tram #35.

Here's the turtle song:
you follow me but you don't see where i'm going
you say you love me but you don't show it
you feed yourself to the gaping maw
you get eaten up and spit out raw
you're a cat
it's a turtle
and the turtle will eat the cat
yeah baby
the turtle will eat the cat.

I put that here now becuase i'm pretty sure that i can relate most human experiences to it.

go buy timothy mcsweeney's
and mdfmk
and "war all the time" by bukowski

seeya all later

From:          Frank LaRosa <FLAROSA@SBCCVM>
 
 

HEMMINGWAY TAKES A CRACK AT STAR TREK

    I was the captain. I was heading for the bridge. The captain
belonged on the bridge. He was the captain. I walked onto the
bridge.
    Uhura was the communications officer. She was sitting at the
communications console. Dammit, Uhura was ugly. Probably everyone on
the bridge thought so. Checkov thought so. If only these damn script
writers would put it in the damn script. Then maybe one of us could
say it. Damn.
    I turned to Uhura. "Put Kahn on the screen", I said.
    "Kahn?"
    "Yes, Kahn."
    "On the screen?"
    "Yes, the screen."
    "You want me to put Kahn on the screen?"
    Dammit, Uhura was stupid too. Just then Kahn came on the screen.
I said, "God dammit Kahn, what do you want?"
    "I want all the information on the Genesis project."
    "The information?"
    "Yes."
    "On the Genesis project?"
    "Yes."
    "All of it?"
    "Yes."
    It seemed as though Kahn wanted all the information on the
Genesis project. Dammit, Kahn was ugly. But I knew this Kahn. He was
out to destroy me. I couldn't give him the information. I had to
destroy him. If I gave him the information then he would destroy me
and I knew I had to destroy him.
    I told Checkov to load the torpedo tubes. The torpedo tubes held
the photon torpedos. The photon torpedos would destroy Kahn. Checkov
loaded the torpedo tubes. Kahn was on the screen again. "I want all
the information on the Genesis project".
    I told Checkov to fire the photon torpedoes.
    "Here it comes," I said.

Messages sorted by: [ date ][ thread ][ subject ][ author ]
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> French are just like French poodle: a kind of
> gorgeous
but with very funny haircuts
> but not so useful like German shepherd.
But they alkso bite people.
>
> --
> jpzr.
>
Give me my non ethnic, but very fast (when she wants to be) greyhound.
Joe A. and Leia, the _very_ retired greyhound
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MDFMK

Happy spring equinox.

A recap of yesterday's events:
wake up to my mom and step-dad fighting.   She's kicking him out, he's leaving.   If he's gone, my step-sister chelsea goes with him.
 I'm in here, listening to Moby:
"ohh lordy, troubles so hard,
ohh lordy, troubles so hard,
don't nobody knows my troubles with God
don't nobody knows my troubles with God"

My mother is crying.   i forget her harshness, i forget it all.   I go to comfort her.
She's upset because she wanted to live a life of dreams and hope with brian, but we were all trying hard enough to just survive.
She asks me what she should do, she says "you're the logical one, what should i do?"   I ask her what she wants.
She says she doesn't know..
The problem with logic is that you have to have know the steps to decifer the best sollution.   She is standing there, and i think of how she no longer looks my mother.. just another lost sad girl..
He is off finding a new place.
So, i go and talk to him.
Brian is a cool guy.   He is unusually calm and reserved in most situations i've been in with him,   this one is no exception.
We talk.   The problem is, he is afraid of her, and she wants him to stand up to her.
Which i know is like sticking your head in the lion's mouth...
I talk some courage and hope into him, and he goes to resolve the issues.   He wants me to go with him to moderate.   I do...
she's crying.   Apparently my brother has decided to move to my uncle's house.   He's getting packed up.   Shes standing in the pathroom doorway, tugging on her dress with sadness.   It's like all of a sudden her life is slipping away from her, without struggle, like an exhale of breath.
We try to talk to her, but she doesn't want to talk about her relationship now..
Brian and I go outside.   He lights a cigerette, i'd like one, but I play the innocent in my household, iIt keeps the questions away.
I don't smoke anyways, except on special occasions.
My mom comes out..
No longer sad, she has regained her poise, and her pines are bristling.
I listen to them argue, while pouring my glass of water unto the cement, it trickles down the driveway.
The look at me..
"You're the wise one, settle this."
I offer my advice.. I tell them that they need to comunicate better and on an even ground, instead of hurling insults at each other and pulling rank.   I tell them family coucelling would keep things fair instead of one sided.. I guess they agree.
They only respect my opinion when they are in trouble.
They decide to work things out.
Meanwhile, my brother is packing his stuff to move away..
He'll be back though.   I'm not worried.

I get my clothes on and head off to work.   I'm listening to Tom Petty's "Full moon fever"
I stop at a red light behind a truck.   A mountain dew bottle rolls under my foot.   (who drinks mountain dew??)   I reach down to grab it, foot goes off the break, I roll into the truck ahead of me.   I follow him to a side street.   He has a brand new truck, I have a sorta-new camaro.   Fortunately the damage is minimal, he was a cool guy.   He said "well.. don't worry about it, get out of here."   I decide to give him my number in case of problems.   We drive off.   I get to work a bit early, and read a bit of my new Bukowski book.   Here's my favorite excerpt from then:

As i stood   at the urinal
gagging and pissing
a crapper door opened and a
midget walked out.
he took an orange tennis ball
out of his pocket.
he cocked his arm and threw a
line drive at the mirror.
the mirror didn't break.
and as the ball zipped back
he leaped in the air and caught
it in his mouth.
then, while holding the ball in
his mouth
he did a little tap dance like
Fred Astaire and
was gone.

I felt better after that.

I was working at a register, which is ok, but it is slow and boring.   Not much to do, and you can't really do much but sit there because once you start to do something, someone comes up and puts their books on the counter.   I usually draw pictures of the famous writers that are wallpapered up against the side of the building.   Those don't take me very long.
Whenever we needed to open the drawer for change, we'd have to call a manager to the front.   This was always a hassle because they were normally in the back room at the back of the store talking, and it would take a few minutes to get them to come up.   I knew a trick though:   You could ring up a newspaper for one cent, and open the drawer.   So there was a manager standing there, and i did the trick just to be stupid or whatever.. trouble is the only thing other then working hard that makes employment tolerable for me.   She was suprised i could open the drawer, and asked me to do it again.   I realized though, that ringing it up for one cent everytime would make my drawer slightly off, so i decided intsead to try ringing up one for .0 cents.   I didn't mind my drawer being 5 cents off at the end of the night, but i didn't want to make waves witht he manager. Well, this was a major mistake.
The drawer didn't open because no money was put in, and there was no money to take out.   However, since it registered a cash transaction, it thought that it was open.   This is one thing i hate about programmers, they have no forsight to the bumblings of people.   I could have coded it to work, but oh well...
Anyways, it was stuck forever with a little window that said "close drawer please"
but we couldn't because it was closed..
I think this story above might be boring, it's kind of boring me writing it, so i will go to the bottom line:
They had to call the store manager and get some secret key to fix it, and even after that, it was still broken, i thought i was going to get fired, but the store manager actually thought it was funny, and it was no big deal at all.
 

Some item's of interest (to me at the very least) A fat man gave me a business card that described him as a "balloon Animal Artist Extrodinaire" A co-worker said "We're probably going to go to Rosarita because we're too cheap for Cabo" A girl reading books in the sexuality section said "it's gross looking at other people doing it." I wonder if the Torah is catagorized under M for moses or G for God.

3.18.00
It's been a long time since i've been in this position, and well, here i am 19 years old
and grounded.
Yeah yeah...
I didn't go to sleep wednsday night, and at 6 AM laying in bed, pretending to be asleep as my mom walked into wake up Matthew, i pretended to wake up.
He said, "You should take me to school."
And so i said "ok" and put my shoes on.   We got in the car and drove towards his school.   When we passed it, he said "uh?"
and so i told him "You aren't going to school today."
We went and saw a movie and had a phili-cheese steak sandwhich, drove home, and i called him in sick.   I said i was his father.
Which was a problem.
because technically.. he doesn't have a father.   So they called my mom.
and here i am..
19 years old,
and grounded.

here is an excerpt from a poem by Charles Bukowski:
"and we sat there for
several hours
talking
laughing
drinking tea
(for them)
wine for
me
talking and laughing
as if everything was
all right
instead of mutilated
and murdered
forever"
 
 

A friendly reminder: march 20th marks the spring equinox, thus ending the winter of discontent.

3.17.00
Happy Saint Patrick's day

Glossary is updated.   Look for the angel.

I put two lone swordsmen in the cd player in my camaro, making a total of 3 of them.

the higher powers of the universe has deemed it nessessary to create us using the drastic forces of evolution.   Why they did this, i don't know.   But they did in fact do it, because here we are.   Anyways, whatever forces or reasons behind our creation also made it standard for us to have emotional responses to have actions in our lives, things like ambition, sorrow, fear, and these are what drive us to forge forward in this life.   But all in all, i think we can sum up human existance in a simple phrase:
how can a group of hairless monkey's get themselves in so much trouble?

whatever all that means.

I rewired my dreamcast and now i can play japanese games.   The game that i have is called Berserk, and it's my favorite game ever because it so beautiful illustrates a metaphor in our lives.   The main character, in the hopes of helping this girl and destroying evil, embarks on a quest to destroy the source of the rising darkness.   He has to fight hordes of zombies, mutants, and soldiers who seemingly attack him for no good reason.   His weapon? A giant sword, that is so big, it shreds through his enemies.   There are, however two problems:   there seemingly is an infinite amount of enemies, and his sword is so big, he can't always swing it because it clangs against the walls.    When he takes enough damage, he gets really mad and goes into berserk mode, and you can swing the sword faster, and you don't take damage, but usually your sword still hits the wall.   You get infinite continues, but you will never end up using that many.

Make of that what you will.

In the CD player: Two lone swordsmen (dance/trance)

this update brought to you by the letters D, and M
and the number 16

I had a pretty weird dream last night..
it started out with me being all happy, at some weird camp type place.. Meg was there, we were still going out, evidently..
she left early on.   I can't remember this whole part of the dream, but for some reason, it ended up being a school, and i was playing some game with my friends having a good time, then a teacher got all mad and tried to expell me, but i argued out of it.   it was weird..   right after that meg's all "we're broken up now, sorry.." and thats when the dream lost all grasp on reality:
Ninjistic: i just had a twacked out dream
Strimbello: about?
Ninjistic: like, everything
Ninjistic: basically it was me playing the adunai movie for my dad, it was whack
Strimbello: hehe
Ninjistic: like at the end
Ninjistic: there was a clip from the simpsons
Strimbello: woohoo!!
Ninjistic: that didn't really exist
Ninjistic: it was weird
Strimbello: fuckin-a
Ninjistic: bart and lisa were trying to stop mr burns
Ninjistic: from dumping 4932875042193721093 tons of sewage
Ninjistic: and the thing they had, was a dump truck full of these magic rubber ducks
Strimbello: hmmm
Ninjistic: homer tried to stop them
Ninjistic: they went to dump it
Ninjistic: but the rubber ducks were stuck to the inside of the truck
Ninjistic: and mr burns was laughing manically
Ninjistic: but then one of them tumbled down
Ninjistic: and splashed into the water
Ninjistic: and turned into a real duck, and the trail behind it as it floated down was blue instead of being all polluted
Ninjistic: then all the ducks fell out
Strimbello: holy shit...that is weird
Ninjistic: and like, cleaned up everything
Ninjistic: it was way out there
Ninjistic: then like it turned even weirder
Ninjistic: cause it went into first person
Ninjistic: with me as myself taking barts place, and it was not really a cartoon
Ninjistic: and there was an army marching upon us
Strimbello: that would make a sweet episode
Ninjistic: and poncho was there, and he's like "i'll take care of this" and he charged the entire army, and there was a huge explosion
Ninjistic: and then EVERYONE was there
Ninjistic: yeah, it would
Ninjistic: actually
Ninjistic: anywyas, everyone was there
Ninjistic: and we were all bummed out over poncho's death
Ninjistic: but then, he like popped up in the air with condor man- like hang gliding wings
Ninjistic: and the credit's played
Ninjistic: and he kept flying past the screen
Ninjistic: and i cried

heheheh...

it's a good thing i don't have to explain myself to a psychiatrist or anything..
Maybe it's a metaphor for life..
You think you have everything you could want, that you're life is complete..
but there are always outside forces.   Even the people you love and trust the most can leave you all alone, and it might bring you down.
But then there are always your true friends, and the good times, and even when things get at their worst, you can unload your truck full of rubber ducks, and they will clean up the filth.   Then some unexpected friend who you may have forgotten was on your side will come and save the day.   And even in your despair at their death, they will triumph!!! and fly around with giant batlike wings..   I don't know..
uh..
let me rephraise that paragraph,
you may think you're living a happy beautiful life, and that everything is perfect.
But unfortunately, if it was perfect, it would not be so easily broken.   In the end, doing the right thing will be your only salvation.
and the beauty*   will ALWAYS prevail

*beauty- true beauty, when things feel so perfect

ergh...uhhhh...
moving on :)

I'm so disorganized, i've lost my last 2 paychecks..   How freaking stupid is that? it's like, 350 dollars.. i don;t know where they went.
I can get them replaced, but thats beside the point.   So I've purchased "Idiots guide to Organizing your Life" for 3 bucks.   Heh...

I better cut my losses and quit now for today, more later!!

You think, i open a webpage, in the middle of the net, and i don't know, whats going on?
i f*c*ing represent.

Existance is futile: you will be obliterated.

Who are you to resist?

Oh yeah..
The adunai.

SplJamnRam: i'm being watched by the government
SplJamnRam: right now
Mehakoi: yeah i know
Mehakoi: its ok though
SplJamnRam: mad bumbler vs the feds, round 2
Mehakoi: thats an unfair fight
Mehakoi: the mad bumbler should tie a hand behind his back
SplJamnRam: heh
SplJamnRam: yeah

WHAT MANNER OF NIHILISM IS THIS????
or is it the new irony?
is this even a joke?
what the fu**?

ugh.

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