And now for a heart warming tale I call:

Rorac's Stupid Axe

   One day the imfamous Anti-hero, Rorac, decided to call it quits.  He had had enough.
Like all great adventurers, he gave away his wordly possessions to his friends.  He
was going into retirement, maybe he would marry Miss Oni and settle down, maybe
he'd become a farmer.  But one thing was clear to him: He's never need his axe again. 

   For this story to make any sense at all, you'd have to know a little history of this axe.
This was no ordinary axe.  It was handed down from the God's hands to Rorac himself.
Wars had been fought over this axe, hundreds, nay, thousands had been cut down by
it.  This axe and Rorac were bonded.  It was a part of him, he could not just give it
away.  If someone else had it, they would have a part of his soul. 

   He could not just give it away..

   There was only one solution.  In a small port town, there was a well.  This well, if
legends were correct, was bottomless.

   So Rorac decided to throw his axe down the well.  It was his axe, and he'd be damned
if anyone else wielded it.  By throwing it down the well, it would never be found again.

   Of course, his comrade and sword brother, Isen, told him not to.  He said "come on,
you know you'll get bored of retirement, don't be dumb, you'll regret throwing it in."

   Rorac shook his head and replied "No, I am done for good.  I'm positive I won't
regret this."

   Isen signed and said,  "fine, i'll go with you."

  So the two traveled to the small town and found the small well of legend.  Im not sure if
it can be called a well because wells have water and this thing had nothing but the blackness
of the VOID and OBLIVION.

  They arrived at the well and looked down.

  "Rorac?" Asked Isen.

  "Isen?" Replied Rorac.

  "You're sure about this?" Asked Isen.

  "Positive" Replied Rorac. 

  He stood there a moment staring at the axe in his hand, his trusted weapon that had gotten
him through a thousand fights.  He sighed with resignation and said "Good bye friend".

  He tossed the axe into the well and it disapeered into the darkness.

  "Rorac?" Isen asked.

  "Isen?"  Rorac replied.

  "No regrets?" Isen asked.

  "None."  Replied Rorac.

  The two warriors stood at the well a moment looking down, waiting for a splash, or some
sound from the axe.  There was nothing but silence, as both peered down into the well
contemplating the situation.

  "Isen?"  Asked Rorac.

  "Rorac."  Replied Isen

  "I have regrets."  Replied Rorac.

  Isen sighed.  "Too late now.."

  "Maybe it snagged or something?"  Rorac asked.

  "Come on now Rorac.." Isen shook his head.
  "Im serious, think about it."  Rorac said

  "No."  Isen said.

  A moment or two passed as the two stood there, watching the darkness of the well, lost in
deep thought.  Finally, Isen glanced up at Rorac.

  "Rorac?" Isen said.


  "You might be right, Nothing is bottomless."


  "Your axe, it is probably down at the bottom, we both know better than to believe this is a
bottomless well.  Its probably just a sound trick or something."

  "So what are you thinking?"

  "I'm thinking we get some candles, some loot sacks and some rope, and climb down the well.
You can't be the ONLY person to have thrown valuable stuff down there so it'd never be found
again.  We'll climb to the bottom, get your axe and whatever other treasure is down there"



  "That is brilliant."


 The two went to the general store, bought 30 candles, plenty of food supplies, and hired one of
the lackeys there to hold the rope for them.  They returned to the well with their help.

  "Listen" said Rorac to the lackey, "keep lowering rope down.  We might be down there for days,
weeks, monthes, even years, but Do Not stop lowering rope.  If you stop, when I get back I will
cut off your leg. Do you hear me?"

  The lackey just nodded, petrified with fear.

  The next morning, the two friends began their descent down into the well.  After a days climb, they
had still not reached the bottom. 

"Light a candle and toss it down."  Rorac told Isen.

"Okay" Isen said, getting a candle from his pack, lighting it and tossing it down.  They both watched it
fall, down,
until it faded into the darkness.  No end in sight.


"You think it really IS bottomless?"



They slept and woke up the next day, and began to descend again.  The light above them got dimmer
and dimmer until they were in complete darkness.  They had gone so far down the well they could no
longer see the daylight coming down the hole. 

That night (or what they assumed was night) they tried another candle.  Again, there was no end in sight.
This pattern repeated itself, day after day, until there were only a few candles left.  Hungry, tired, and
flat out beat, Rorac and Isen decided to take a break.  Isen went through his pack, checking their food
and water supply.



"This is it."


"The point of no return."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, if we climb even a foot further, then we will not have the food, water, or energy to climb back up.
Either we stop here, or we continue down the well until we meet our demise." Isen said.


They both paused for a second, thinking, contemplating the possibilities.  The silence and darkness around
them was incredible.



"Want to keep going?"

Isen paused for a moment, just a moment.  Then, in the darkness, he shrugged.


That night, they slept well and began descending again the moment they woke.  They spoke very little.  An
indeterminable amount of time later, the rope stopped.  Rorac, annoyed, gave a mighty tug and the rope
gave a little bit and then went lax. 



"I'm pretty sure I just broke whatever the rope was attached to."  Rorac said.

"So, what are you saying?"

"I'm saying we're going to be in freefall soon."



"Oh well, we had a good run."  Isen said, grinning.


Not to sound corny, you between these two, nothing else was needed to be
said.  They were sword brothers, true comrades.  They had fought back to
back, saved each other other too many times to count.  It wasn't a shame
they were going to die, the shame would have been if they had died sepperately
in old age, instead of together on some insane random quest.  They both knew
these truths, and they didn't need to say it.

The two warriors let go of the rope and began descending on the cobblestone
that made up the side of the well.  It was harder work but they managed. 

A day later, a tree flew past them with a long rope attached.



"When you pulled the rope, you pulled a tree out of the ground."  Isen said.

"Your point?"  Rorac asked.

"You're strong."  Isen said

"I know" Replied Rorac.

They sat there for a minute.  The two were completely worn out from what may
have been monthes from climbing.  They were completely sore and neither had
any energy left.



"Got any candles left?"  Asked Rorac.

"Just one, I've been saving it"  Isen said.

Holding on to the side of the well, they both weezed, trying to breathe in a stronger,
more potent breath.  Both hoping for a second wind, something to rejuevinate them,
but that time was LONG past.



"I have an idea."  Isen said.

"Yes?" Rorac asked.

"Lets take the last candle and drop it.  If there is STILL no bottom in sight, well.."  Isen

"Go on?" peered Rorac.

"I say we drop. That tree you pulled dropped past us, freefall would be much faster that
climbing down cobblestones.  Besides..."  Isen said.

"Besides?"  asked Rorac.

"I can't climb much longer, I'm done."

They both thought about it.  By now the madness of the whole thing had taken them both
They had been quite mad from the beggining, why else would they climb into a BOTTOMLESS
WELL?  Why else would they keep going after the rations grew thin? After they had run out of
rope?  Perhaps FATE had called them, perhaps this was their DESTINED END.  Who were
they to object to the divine wisdom of Fate and Doom?



"Drop the candle."  Rorac said.

With the unspoken resignation, Isen lit the last candle.  Holding his breathe, he dropped it. 
The candle flickered as it fell into the depths.  As it descended, the two friends spoke.

"Well, this is for the best anyways"  said Rorac.

"Huh?"  Isen asked.

"Our muscles will have given up soon enough.  At least now we'll be throwing ourselves
into the darkness, by our own volition."  Rorac said.

"True, we'll die as we lived, by our own choice."  Isen nodded.

"Fitting, huh?"  Rorac grinned.

"Yeah" Said Isen. "Ready?"

"Wait till we can no longer see the candles glow, then on the count of three, we'll jump"  Rorac

"Good plan" Isen nodded.

The candle fell..



"It hit the bottom" Rorac said gruffly.

"Yeah."  Isen replied.  "Told you theres no such thing as a bottomless pit."

Rorac chuckled.

The two climbed the rest of the way down.

"Look at all this treasure."  Rorac said.

"Yeah."  Replied Isen.

"A thousand years of loot, gold, magic swords, rings, weapons, armor, cloaks, crowns,
axes, lances, gems, and all sorts of things, ours for the taking."  Rorac said.

"If we can get this stuff out of here, we'll be the richest men in the world."  Isen said,
glancing around.

"Yeah, but find my axe."  Rorac said.

"It's over there"  Isen pointed.

"Well grab it, then lets get this loot and find a way out of here. 

"Good plan."

Isen went to the axe and tugged. Nothing.  He strained to get it but it wouldn't budge.  It
was stuck..

"Come and help me with this thing, its stuck" Isen said

"K"  Rorac replied. 

Rorac went to his axe and strained, his muscles bulged but his axe didn't budge.  Rorac was
undoubtly the strongest man on earth, but his efforts were to no avail.


"Yes Rorac?"

"Its stuck."

"Hm," Isen said, "maybe if we both try?"

"Good idea" Rorac said nodding.

Isen grabbed hold of the axe next to Rorac, preparing to yank it out with their combined
considerable might.  "On the count of three"

"One." Isen said.



"WAIT" Rorac yelled.

"Huh?" Isen asked.

"I have a supposition."  Rorac stated.

"Go on."  Isen nodded.

"Suppose, this well IS bottomless, that this isn't the bottom at all, but a CLOG.  Then suppose
my axe has wedged itself in such a way that it is a lynch pin for the entire thing.  Suppose, for
just an instant, that if we pull this axe out, all this loot, all this treasure, everything here, including
us, will drain like water into the dark unknown."  Rorac said.

Isen thought about it a minute, and then, in the dwindling light of the candle, he shook his head.
"No way, this is the bottom." 

"What if you're wrong?" asked Rorac.

"So?" Isen replied.

"Good point" Rorac grinned.


"Yep." Rorac nodded.




They tugged, and tugged and tugged.  With a *pop* the axe flew out and up into the air, right
into Rorac's waiting hands.


The two warriors looked at each other and grinned.  A couple seconds passed before either
said anything.

"Hey Rorac?"

"Yes Isen?"

"Do you feel anything?"

"Yeah, Isen, the floor is moving"



"You were right"

"I know."

Rorac nodding was the last thing Isen saw as the candle was knocked over and flickered out. 
In the darkness, Rorac secured his axe and sat down.  Isen sat down across from him, and
started to snicker.  Before too long, both were laughing a rich strong healthy laugh.  When the
world is crumbling beneath your feet, all you can do is laugh.  It was such a loud and powerful
laugh, that it echoed up the well and into the town, people heard it for days echoeing from the

Eventually though, it faded, and the villagers were no longer able to hear the laughter.

A couple years later, the two showed up in town again.  They cut off the leg of the General Store
lackey, and then bought him a new house, and a shop of his own. 

How did they get out, you ask?


thats another story.