And now for a heart warming
tale I call:
Rorac's Stupid Axe
One day the imfamous Anti-hero, Rorac, decided to call it quits.
He had had enough.
Like all great adventurers, he
gave away his wordly possessions to his
friends. He
was going into retirement,
maybe he would marry Miss Oni and settle
down, maybe
he'd become a farmer.
But one thing was clear to him: He's never
need his axe again.
For this story to
make any sense at all, you'd have to
know a little history of this axe.
This was no ordinary
axe. It was handed down from the God's hands
to Rorac himself.
Wars had been fought over this
axe, hundreds, nay, thousands had been
cut down by
it. This axe and Rorac
were bonded. It was a part of him,
he could not just give it
away. If someone else
had it, they would have a part of his soul.
He could not just
give it away..
There was only
one solution. In a small port town,
there was a well. This well, if
legends were correct, was
bottomless.
So Rorac decided
to throw his axe down the well. It
was his axe, and he'd be damned
if anyone else wielded
it. By throwing it down the well, it would
never be found again.
Of course, his
comrade and sword brother, Isen, told him
not to. He said "come on,
you know you'll get bored of
retirement, don't be dumb, you'll regret
throwing it in."
Rorac shook his
head and replied "No, I am done for
good. I'm positive I won't
regret this."
Isen signed and
said, "fine, i'll go with you."
So the two traveled to
the small town and found the small well
of legend. Im not sure if
it can be called a well
because wells have water and this thing had
nothing but the blackness
of the VOID and OBLIVION.
They arrived at the
well and looked down.
"Rorac?" Asked Isen.
"Isen?" Replied Rorac.
"You're sure about
this?" Asked Isen.
"Positive" Replied
Rorac.
He stood there a moment
staring at the axe in his hand, his
trusted weapon that had gotten
him through a thousand
fights. He sighed with resignation and
said "Good bye friend".
He tossed the axe into
the well and it disapeered into the
darkness.
"Rorac?" Isen asked.
"Isen?" Rorac
replied.
"No regrets?" Isen
asked.
"None." Replied
Rorac.
The two warriors stood
at the well a moment looking down,
waiting for a splash, or some
sound from the axe.
There was nothing but silence, as both peered
down into the well
contemplating the situation.
"Isen?" Asked
Rorac.
"Rorac." Replied
Isen
"I have regrets."
Replied Rorac.
Isen sighed. "Too
late now.."
"Maybe it snagged or
something?" Rorac asked.
"Come on now Rorac.."
Isen shook his head.
"Im serious, think
about it." Rorac said
"No." Isen said.
A moment or two passed
as the two stood there, watching the
darkness of the well, lost in
deep thought. Finally,
Isen glanced up at Rorac.
"Rorac?" Isen said.
"Isen?"
"You might be right,
Nothing is bottomless."
"Hm?"
"Your axe, it is
probably down at the bottom, we both know
better than to believe this is a
bottomless well. Its
probably just a sound trick or something."
"So what are you
thinking?"
"I'm thinking we get
some candles, some loot sacks and some
rope, and climb down the well.
You can't be the ONLY person
to have thrown valuable stuff down there
so it'd never be found
again. We'll climb to
the bottom, get your axe and whatever other
treasure is down there"
"Isen."
"Rorac?"
"That is brilliant."
So....
The two went to the general
store, bought 30 candles, plenty of food supplies, and hired one of
the lackeys there to hold the rope for them. They returned to the
well with their help.
"Listen" said Rorac to the lackey, "keep lowering rope
down. We might be down there for days,
weeks, monthes, even years, but Do Not stop lowering rope. If you
stop, when I get back I will
cut off your leg. Do you hear me?"
The lackey just nodded, petrified with fear.
The next morning, the two friends began their descent down into
the well. After a days climb, they
had still not reached the bottom.
"Light a candle and toss it down." Rorac told Isen.
"Okay" Isen said, getting a candle from his pack, lighting it and
tossing it down. They both watched it
fall, down,
down,
down,
down,
until it faded into the
darkness. No end in sight.
"Isen?"
"Rorac?"
"You think it really IS
bottomless?"
"Nah"
"Okay"
They slept and woke up the
next day, and began to descend again.
The light above them got dimmer
and dimmer until they were in
complete darkness. They had gone so
far down the well they could no
longer see the daylight coming
down the hole.
That night (or what they
assumed was night) they tried another
candle. Again, there was no end in sight.
This pattern repeated itself,
day after day, until there were only a
few candles left. Hungry, tired, and
flat out beat, Rorac and Isen
decided to take a break. Isen went
through his pack, checking their food
and water supply.
"Rorac."
"Isen?"
"This is it."
"Hm?"
"The point of no return."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, if we climb even a
foot further, then we will not have the
food, water, or energy to climb back up.
Either we stop here, or we
continue down the well until we meet our
demise." Isen said.
"Hrm."
They both paused for a second,
thinking, contemplating the
possibilities. The silence and darkness around
them was incredible.
"Isen?"
"Rorac?"
"Want to keep going?"
Isen paused for a moment, just
a moment. Then, in the darkness,
he shrugged.
"Sure"
That night, they slept well
and began descending again the moment they
woke. They spoke very little. An
indeterminable amount of time
later, the rope stopped. Rorac,
annoyed, gave a mighty tug and the rope
gave a little bit and then
went lax.
"Isen?"
"Rorac?"
"I'm pretty sure I just broke
whatever the rope was attached to."
Rorac said.
"So, what are you saying?"
"I'm saying we're going to be
in freefall soon."
"Oh."
"Yes."
"Oh well, we had a good
run." Isen said, grinning.
"Yeah"
Not to sound corny, you
between these two, nothing else was needed to be
said. They were sword
brothers, true comrades. They had
fought back to
back, saved each other other
too many times to count. It wasn't a
shame
they were going to die, the
shame would have been if they had died
sepperately
in old age, instead of
together on some insane random quest. They
both knew
these truths, and they didn't
need to say it.
The two warriors let go of the
rope and began descending on the
cobblestone
that made up the side of the
well. It was harder work but they
managed.
A day later, a tree flew past
them with a long rope attached.
"Rorac?"
"Isen?"
"When you pulled the rope, you
pulled a tree out of the ground."
Isen said.
"Your point?" Rorac
asked.
"You're strong." Isen
said
"I know" Replied Rorac.
They sat there for a
minute. The two were completely worn out
from what may
have been monthes from
climbing. They were completely sore and
neither had
any energy left.
"Isen?"
"Rorac?"
"Got any candles left?"
Asked Rorac.
"Just one, I've been saving
it" Isen said.
Holding on to the side of the
well, they both weezed, trying to breathe
in a stronger,
more potent breath. Both
hoping for a second wind, something to
rejuevinate them,
but that time was LONG past.
"Rorac?"
"Isen?"
"I have an idea." Isen
said.
"Yes?" Rorac asked.
"Lets take the last candle and
drop it. If there is STILL no
bottom in sight, well.." Isen
mused.
"Go on?" peered Rorac.
"I say we drop. That tree you
pulled dropped past us, freefall would be
much faster that
climbing down
cobblestones. Besides..." Isen said.
"Besides?" asked Rorac.
"I can't climb much longer,
I'm done."
They both thought about
it. By now the madness of the whole thing
had taken them both
They had been quite mad from
the beggining, why else would they climb
into a BOTTOMLESS
WELL? Why else would
they keep going after the rations grew thin?
After they had run out of
rope? Perhaps FATE had
called them, perhaps this was their
DESTINED END. Who were
they to object to the divine
wisdom of Fate and Doom?
"Isen?"
"Rorac?"
"Drop the candle." Rorac
said.
With the unspoken resignation,
Isen lit the last candle. Holding
his breathe, he dropped it.
The candle flickered as it
fell into the depths. As it descended,
the two friends spoke.
"Well, this is for the best
anyways" said Rorac.
"Huh?" Isen asked.
"Our muscles will have given
up soon enough. At least now we'll
be throwing ourselves
into the darkness, by our own
volition." Rorac said.
"True, we'll die as we lived,
by our own choice." Isen nodded.
"Fitting, huh?" Rorac
grinned.
"Yeah" Said Isen. "Ready?"
"Wait till we can no longer
see the candles glow, then on the count of
three, we'll jump" Rorac
said.
"Good plan" Isen nodded.
The candle fell..
down..
down..
down..
"Isen."
"Rorac?"
"It hit the bottom" Rorac said
gruffly.
"Yeah." Isen
replied. "Told you theres no such thing as a
bottomless pit."
Rorac chuckled.
The two climbed the rest of
the way down.
"Look at all this
treasure." Rorac said.
"Yeah." Replied Isen.
"A thousand years of loot,
gold, magic swords, rings, weapons, armor,
cloaks, crowns,
axes, lances, gems, and all
sorts of things, ours for the
taking." Rorac said.
"If we can get this stuff out
of here, we'll be the richest men in the
world." Isen said,
glancing around.
"Yeah, but find my axe."
Rorac said.
"It's over there" Isen
pointed.
"Well grab it, then lets get
this loot and find a way out of
here.
"Good plan."
Isen went to the axe and
tugged. Nothing. He strained to get it
but it wouldn't budge. It
was stuck..
"Come and help me with this
thing, its stuck" Isen said
"K" Rorac replied.
Rorac went to his axe and
strained, his muscles bulged but his axe
didn't budge. Rorac was
undoubtly the strongest man on
earth, but his efforts were to no avail.
"Isen?"
"Yes Rorac?"
"Its stuck."
"Hm," Isen said, "maybe if we
both try?"
"Good idea" Rorac said nodding.
Isen grabbed hold of the axe
next to Rorac, preparing to yank it out
with their combined
considerable might. "On
the count of three"
"One." Isen said.
"Two."
"Thr.."
"WAIT" Rorac yelled.
"Huh?" Isen asked.
"I have a supposition."
Rorac stated.
"Go on." Isen nodded.
"Suppose, this well IS
bottomless, that this isn't the bottom at all,
but a CLOG. Then suppose
my axe has wedged itself in
such a way that it is a lynch pin for the
entire thing. Suppose, for
just an instant, that if we
pull this axe out, all this loot, all this
treasure, everything here, including
us, will drain like water into
the dark unknown." Rorac said.
Isen thought about it a
minute, and then, in the dwindling light of the
candle, he shook his head.
"No way, this is the
bottom."
"What if you're wrong?" asked
Rorac.
"So?" Isen replied.
"Good point" Rorac grinned.
"Ready?"
"Yep." Rorac nodded.
"One."
"Two"
"Three"
They tugged, and tugged and
tugged. With a *pop* the axe flew out
and up into the air, right
into Rorac's waiting hands.
Smooth.
The two warriors looked at
each other and grinned. A couple
seconds passed before either
said anything.
"Hey Rorac?"
"Yes Isen?"
"Do you feel anything?"
"Yeah, Isen, the floor is
moving"
"Rorac."
"Yeah?"
"You were right"
"I know."
Rorac nodding was the last
thing Isen saw as the candle was knocked
over and flickered out.
In the darkness, Rorac secured
his axe and sat down. Isen sat
down across from him, and
started to snicker.
Before too long, both were laughing a rich
strong healthy laugh. When the
world is crumbling beneath
your feet, all you can do is laugh. It
was such a loud and powerful
laugh, that it echoed up the
well and into the town, people heard it
for days echoeing from the
darkness.
Eventually though, it faded,
and the villagers were no longer able to
hear the laughter.
A couple years later, the two
showed up in town again. They cut
off the leg of the General Store
lackey, and then bought him a
new house, and a shop of his own.
How did they get out, you ask?
Well..
thats another story.