5.11.05
I'm beginning an Adunai Crusade. We shall reclaim our homeland
and kill the infidels!
weather in newark:
4.27.05
Oops, I did it again............ CLICK LOUIS ARMSTRONG
4.22.05
LICK THIS FROG.. er CLICK
THIS FROG
4.18.05
Do
you trust me?
WELL?
DO YOU?
Martha Stewart: Etiquette Guru or Schizophrenic
Savant?
(Part 1)
Martha Stewart has lived a long public life where she has
turned her touch at making ordinary things beautiful into an empire of
etiquette and home beautification. Coming from humble origins,
she has proven her resolve and strength by overcoming the odds to
become one of the most wealthy and famous women in the world. She
is the living embodiment of the American Dream. However, her
fortune and private obsessions have been hidden from the world, and
with rumors about her quarks and indiscretions floating around the
Internet and print for the last decade, it is hard to begin to
understand who she is as a person. If the rumors have even an
inkling of truth in them, however, they portray a very strange picture
indeed.
Martha Stuart was born Marthusia Bernar Ravunakliski
in 1933 to Roman Catholic parents in Moscow, Russia. Medical
records do not specifically indicate what the crisis was, but as the
obstetrician noted “The birth was not without complication, but with
skilled surgeons on hand we were able to resolve the issue.” (Martha
Stuart: The Inside Story, Bantam Books, 1994) While reports were never
confirmed, it was often believed that Martha herself feels that her
birth is one of her strong motivational factors, as if she is making
amends for the tragedy that ensued. Stranger still are rumors
from undisclosed sources close to her that say she has, on rare
occasion, commented that she was “burdened with sadness that she
survived at the sacrifice of another life” (Life Magazine, November
15th, 2001). While most assume that she is referring to her
mother dying in childbirth, investigation into medical records at the
time reveal two things. One, that her mother survived the
complications. Two, that someone has gone to extensive lengths to
eliminate nearly all evidence of her birth in the Moscow Hospital,
striking all records from the file sans her birth certificate and
release papers for the father, mother, and baby two months after the
birth. While the facts of why she was in the hospital and what
had really happened elude investigators, her ex-husband, Andy Stewart,
has given some information towards this. “Usia, that’s what
Martha liked to be called in private, believed that she was born a
Siamese twin and that the other twin was severed and died. It was
sad really, but I never knew if I believed her or not, so many things
she would say would contradict things she had told me in the
past. But sometimes she would get a sad look in her eye and rub
her side. She does have scars there, or did before all that
plastic surgery, but they hardly looked like anything serious.
When we first met she claimed she fell on a motorcycle when she was a
teenager." (BBC Magazine Weekly, October 10th, 1986) It should be
noted that this interview was during a period of estrangement that
ultimately lead to a divorce, and that he was being paid by the BBC for
the interview.
Her childhood is a hard story to track down.
Records and interviews from family members and her own story seem to be
very contradictory. One thing is for certain, the assertion in
her biography that she lived a normal life in Russia with her father
was an absolute fiction. “I had a happy childhood, my father
raised me and did an amazing job as a single father in a time when that
was especially difficult. Even through my teenage years he remained a
steadfast supporter of my schooling and extracurricular activities.”
(Martha Stewart – Life in Style, Bookwire Press, 1993). This
citation is very revealing of the layers of denial Martha has
accumulated in trying to present a positive face forward. The
unfortunate truth is, Martha lead a disturbing childhood wrought with
inconsistency and abandonment. At the age of six, Martha returned
home to find that her mother and father had hung themselves. She
was found three days later by a neighbor hiding in a small hall
closet. This might offer a keen insight into one of her most
strange eccentricities, her affinity for tightly enclosed places.
One can only imagine the emotional trauma the deaths would cause a
child, and the ramifications of the event, and worse, her stumbling on
it, were extensive. She was adopted by her grandmother and moved
to America shortly later. After her grandmother’s death of an
apparent heart attack, she attempted suicide by hanging (mimicing her
parents) at the age of nine years old. A psychologist, William
Tainer, was a residing therapist in Pearl Bay Institution where she
stayed after her parents death noted, “Martha is a very smart girl, a
very smart girl, but there is a lot of sadness and repression there, to
the untrained eye it would seem she is cold and careless.
However, working with her for the last eight years has shown me
she is much much more than that. She is alive and vivid and
passionate, her imagination is incredible. It is unfortunate, in
my mind, that she has turned that imagination into creating a very
realistic and believable fiction about her life, which she believes
absolutely.” (Psychology Today, April, 1971) He went on a few years
later to examine the alternate reality: “Her assertion that her mother
died at childbirth, that her father and sister visits her daily is the
quickest indication of her psychosis. She was an only child with
no surviving family.” He stated also, “at night, even at the age
of sixteen, she would scream and wail for hours on end, sometimes to
the point we would have to quarantine and sedate her. It was
terrible. When I would ask her about it later, she would deny the
entire episode. I would like to note though, that during these
episodes she would claw the scars on left side until they were
bloody. She presented a danger to herself that she refused to
accept or even believe existed.” (Modern Psychology, November,
1979)
Martha was released from the institution at the age
of 18 on March 23rd, 1951. She was given 50 dollars and a new set
of clothes and ejected unto the streets of Pearl Bay,
Massachusetts. Most of the history of the next 10 years of her
life is completely rumor and hearsay. Her own accounts of what
happened can and must be discounted due to her mental condition.
What can be taken as valid is police reports about her dated shortly
after her release.
(to be continued)
11.23.04
Gaijin Senshi: i got semi-hustled today
Atrix W0lf: how so?
Gaijin Senshi: i was doing a delivery in downtown columbus
Gaijin Senshi: one i had to walk cause theres no parking
Gaijin Senshi: its only like half a mile
Gaijin Senshi: but it sucks carrying a dozen roses in a vase
Gaijin Senshi: :-P
Atrix W0lf: hehe
Gaijin Senshi: anyways, this fucked up looking guy came up and asked if
he could trade me 4 quarters for a dollar
Gaijin Senshi: i was like, ehh sure
Gaijin Senshi: and he opened his hand and there was like 87 cents in
random coins
Atrix W0lf: lol
Gaijin Senshi: he took the dollar and put it in his pocket
Gaijin Senshi: and put the change in his pocket
Gaijin Senshi: and slinked off
Gaijin Senshi: heh
Atrix W0lf: lol wtf
Atrix W0lf: hahaha
Gaijin Senshi: it wasn't worth it to me to pursue it
Gaijin Senshi: hehe
Gaijin Senshi: at least, not when i had a 90 dollar bouquet of roses in
my hand
Atrix W0lf: hehe :P
Gaijin Senshi: hey and check this
Atrix W0lf: thats really wierd
Gaijin Senshi: i made that delivery on the the 25th floor
Gaijin Senshi: (on a side note, he probably makes good money, figuring
people wouldn't bother cause hes fucked up and crackhead looking)
Gaijin Senshi: and it was to a guy
Atrix W0lf: terrible
Atrix W0lf: delivering roses to a gay man
Gaijin Senshi: yeah
Gaijin Senshi: haha
Gaijin Senshi: anyways, 3 hours later
Gaijin Senshi: im doing some other delivery
Gaijin Senshi: and i get a call from the flower shop owner (dallas)
that the woman i delivered roses to complained about them
Atrix W0lf: whats was wrong w/ em?
Gaijin Senshi: i was like "dallas, that was a guy..." and he told me
"no it wasn't i just talked to her, she has a guys name but its a girl"
i replied "no, i handed the roses to him, i assure you its a guy"
Gaijin Senshi: they were OPEN TOO MUCH
Atrix W0lf: wow wtf
Gaijin Senshi: he likes them when they are more closed.
Gaijin Senshi: so i had to walk my ass half a mile back to the court
house
Gaijin Senshi: go through security and get frisked AGAIN by cops
Gaijin Senshi: go up to the 25th floor, get the flowers, walk BACK to
the shop, dallas fixes em, then i get to walk BACK to the courthouse,
get frisked, then deliver the "more closed" flowers back to the gay
dude..
9.25.04
From: Isentaur | Posted: 9/17/2004 9:56:59 AM | Message Detail
feh.. the british...
hey, how many more wars do we need to defeat you in or save you from
before you recognize the natural superiority of the united states?
as a tribute to the united states complete dominance over the british
in every aspect, the english will now be required to spell "colour" the
american way: color.
---
From: Bird killer489 | Posted: 9/17/2004 10:01:32 AM | Message Detail
Isentaur, a post like that can spark a needless and flameful debate,
you should close it.
---
From: Kryon | Posted: 9/17/2004 10:13:56 AM | Message Detail
Isentaur, you should be shot.
---
From: bobdillon (gs) | Posted: 9/17/2004 10:58:23 AM | Message Detail
What no earth are you talking about! Is this what happens when you eat
too much Mcdonald's?!*
---
From: Isentaur | Posted: 9/17/2004 11:17:10 AM | Message Detail
if you love england so much, why are you on an american message board
talking about an american game on a computer that americans invented?
what have the british done of any value in the last 2000 years? i'll
give you the stones and the beatles, but other than that, what? you get
a slut to be your princess and then you cry when she dies, you get the
crap kicked out of you by germans, you build a tunnel to france.. what
is the british contribution to the world??? tea??
everyone of any value left england and came to america.
and you bring up mcdonalds? what the hell does that even mean? is that
really all you've got?
---
From: GrayHalo (gs) | Posted: 9/17/2004 12:04:53 PM | Message Detail
Isentaur makes me ashamed to be an American, if no one esle will I'll
apologize for him being ignorant and the embodiment of what makes
America aweful,
---
From: Oblong Schlong | Posted: 9/17/2004 12:50:49 PM | Message Detail
Small pox Vaccine? The Vacuum Bottle? Penicillin? A Hovercraft? The
hypodermic needle?
You look extremely stupid at this point, I hasten to add.
Your bigotry against Britain- the country yours is an offshoot from,
the language you use everyday is from, whose inventions make your
standards of living and health so much greater- makes you seem like an
ignorant fool who knows nothing of the world.
I can assert with confidence that this, in fact, is the case.
---
From: pKillerMax (gs) | Posted: 9/17/2004 5:52:12 PM | Message Detail
what is it with us?? Now I can see why we are the most hated country.
because some punk a** racists think stupid. Jesus ppl, stop it. Power
and superiority is not everything about this country. peace....
---
From: Isentaur | Posted: 9/17/2004 6:35:23 PM | Message Detail
you cowardly brits try to attack me with facts... im sorry, you're
right, i complety forgot the invention of the HOVERCRAFT when factoring
in america's complete transcendance over its mother country.
now for some facts of my own:
revolutionary war-american soldiers defeat the british despite being
outnumbered and out gunned, thereby winning their independance from the
tyranny of england.
war of 1812- America again proves the british are pansies by beating
the snot out of them a second time in under 50 years.
ww1-america bails england out
ww2-america saves england again by holding the germans at bay and
keeping them from landing on british soil.
ww3-america invents a laser cannon saving the world (including england)
from the alien invaders..
oops, ignore that one, im not supposed to reveal secrets from teh
future.
anyways, time and again america has proven itself the economical,
political, ideological AND military better of the english. why argue?
hovercrafts aside, america is the driving force of innovation on this
planet, instead of hating america, you should feel proud that you can
garner the left over scraps of the greatest nation this world has ever
seen. america should annex england and make IT a colony. (hint: we do,
in a ironic and humorous twist of fate in 2042)
and for your feeble squabling, i'm also going to have to ask the
english to stop spelling "humor" humour. its a small price to pay for
the education you were just given.
---
From: Isentaur | Posted: 9/17/2004 6:44:37 PM | Message Detail
my forefathers were not like me, they didn't do things this way. They
chopped everyone who angered them up into tiny pieces while high on
mushrooms. you are lucky that george washington isn't here, your
insolence would have angered him to no end. he chopped down a cherry
tree for your sins and you show no respect..
i am going easy on you...
---
From: Elibo | Posted: 9/18/2004 1:40:00 PM | Message Detail
One thing I don't get is all the Americans that turn against the
country. Support it don't bad mouth it with everyone else. If you don't
like it here move.
The entire reason the (smarter) Americans badmouth their own country is
because the good majority of America are probably biased in some way,
Fundamentalists, just stupid, are like Isentaur, are lazy good-for
nothing fat-asses who complain, are spoiled rotten, etc. etc. etc.
I have a missionary friend. The year he came back after he went over to
another third world country, he saw that he was DISGUSTED by the amount
most Americans are spoiled, how they complain about the dumbest things,
how much they waste, etc. Seeing this, I'm pretty embarrassed to be a
part of America.
---
From: Isentaur | Posted: 9/18/2004 2:12:38 PM | Message Detail
*sigh*
you'd think my talk of being from the future, the forefather's cutting
people up while high on mushrooms, and my persistance in bringing up
hovercrafts would be a completly obvious signal as to my true
intentions.
but if you want to continue thinking im an uneducated ignorant
american, then you will die like the other other infidels
---
From: Isentaur | Posted: 9/18/2004 2:29:29 PM | Message Detail
"The entire reason the (smarter) Americans badmouth their own country
is because the good majority of America are probably biased in some
way, Fundamentalists, just stupid, are like Isentaur, are lazy good-for
nothing fat-asses who complain, are spoiled rotten, etc. etc. etc."
hehe... yeah you sure nailed me there, how can i compete with the
intelligence of these brilliant gamefaq posters? i mean really it was
an act of futility from the start. i mean, you obviously have seen me
and know my life to know that im lazy, good for nothing, fat and
spoiled rotten.. so because of this i officially surrender in this
thread. I, as a representive of the "fundamentalists" as well as the
united states government have been authorized to express the following
promises:
1) the annexation of the united states to its parent country, england,
is effective immediatly
2) the full loyalty to the Queen by the american people, punishable by
death
3) President Bush has stepped down from presidency into an honorary
position of Arch-Duke of the United Colony of England (formly the US)
4) the full admitance that it was in fact england that was completly
responsible for inventing the internet
5) the united states never won the revolutionary war
i apologize for fighting before, england > united states
---
From: Isentaur | Posted: 9/18/2004 2:31:08 PM | Message Detail
PS: official vehicle of the US is now the hovercraft
---
From: cgwinn | Posted: 9/23/2004 10:51:08 PM | Message Detail
i just unfortunately spent the last 5 mins reading through these posts
and i have to say, i want that 5 mins back, isentaur, you are
embarassing yourself and your country. to our british cousins here, the
majority of americans know that you are and have been for a long time
our greatest friends and allies. there is more support and appreciation
here for you than you realize, together our great countries have been
through hell and back, two great civilizations that have taken a
beating and are still standing
---
From: Isentaur | Posted: 9/23/2004 11:15:09 PM | Message Detail
okay benedict arnold
---
From: cgwinn | Posted: 9/24/2004 12:16:11 AM | Message Detail
benedict arnold was a traitor to the colonies, i am proud, patriotic
american. if you would take the time to get your head out of your ass
you would know that great britain has long since been an important ally
of the US. the last time we were enemies was the war of 1812. if you
want to place ignorant animosity towards another country, at least do
so to one that does has not been one of nation's best friends for the
last century...
---
From: Isentaur | Posted: 9/24/2004 3:58:52 PM | Message Detail
thats what you would say, tory. your hatred of your own country makes
me want to cut down a cherry tree or something..
someone get me my axe, im gonna cut down a whole cherry orchard, just
like my boy george washington does when he is mad at the english.
---
From: cgwinn | Posted: 9/24/2004 10:28:55 PM | Message Detail
where in any of my posts do i display any hatred of my own country? i
have merely pointed out that the british have been our nation's allies
since the beginning of the 20th century at least. it's not like i am
praising north korea, i am apologizing to our british friends for your
rude behavior and attitude towards them. normally i would not engage in
a battle of wits with an unarmed man but by the pointless dribble and
unfounded insults you spill out only proves your own ignorance.
---
From: stoopdapoop | Posted: 9/24/2004 11:33:22 PM | Message Detail
haha, cgwinn is owning!
---
From: DragoNZ DZ | Posted: 9/25/2004 1:36:48 AM | Message Detail
Sometimes I wonder why people are so stupid as to respond to the
instigating remarks of the "idiot" (who, in this case, is obviously
more intelligent that most of the people responding). Already knowing
the answer, however, I shouldn't do that.
---
From: Isentaur | Posted: 9/25/2004 8:48:09 PM | Message Detail
shhh dragoNZ...
it is epically clear that i have been utterly defeated on all fronts up
to this point. I am now backed up against a wall with seemingly no
hope.. but fear not, i haven't begun to fight yet...
seriously cgwinn, what state do you live in? canada? quit pretending to
be a patriot. you're an insult to this great country, maybe you should
go to history class occasionally before you try to argue with me.
England has a QUEEN. they are a monarchy. how can we be allies with a
country that has no elected officials, that decides its rulers based on
something as arbitrary as birth? the queen is obviously a mad tyrant
with none of the common decency of the american people. Remember when
england put John Lennon to death for coming to america and smoking
marijuana? or when they forcefully took over scotland and re-enacted
the rights of prima nocta? these are horrific crimes that cannot be
ignored. when we are done with iraq, i say we bring democracy to
england, those poor people have been subjected to fifedom for far too
long..
don't worry my english brothers, your liberation is coming soon.
---
From: cgwinn | Posted: 9/25/2004 10:34:12 PM | Message Detail
i was going to just walk away and ignore this topic, but the last
statement u just said was too good to pass up. england is not ruled by
the monarchy, they are just a figure head. parliment and the prime
minister are both elected officials who truly run the country. the
queen does not truly have much if any executive power. how am i an
insult to my country? tell me this. to answer your question I live in
South Carolina. I come from a family that has long history of military
service both on my mom and my dad's side. i personally am working
towards being in law enforcement, my heart leads me to believe i can do
more good protecting my community here at home more than i could in the
military. pretending to be a patriot? u make this remark solely based
on the fact that i apologized to the english by your rudeness to them.
if i had jumped on here praising saddam ruled iraq, iran, north korea,
soviet union when it existed, etc. i would deserve the flames. i merely
stated my appreciation for one of our few true allies who have been
there in our nation's time of need and vice versa. england has
committed its share of crimes in the past, as has any nation. my
comments were not condoning or criticizing the politics of its
government, my comments were directed towards the people of england,
the public. just as the average american does not want to be judged,
hated, or criticized for every move the american gov't makes, be it
right or wrong. now this may be all fun and games, i had no real
animosity towards you at first, it was mostly for amusement, but this
is the third time ihave been called a traitor by you, not that it
matters honestly what you think but my own sense of patriotism and love
of country burns too deep inside to let a remark like that towards me
go unchallenged. anyone that knows me knows i am 100% american. to
answer the question before its asked, why i haven't joined the military
as much of my family has? i was going to, around 9-11 but i made a
promise to 3 important people in my life that i would notand despite
how much i wanted to i would not break that promise, the compromise
being that i would pursue law enforcement instead. i've said my peace,
make of it what you will
---
Of all the things I've lost I miss my mind the most...
From: Isentaur | Posted: 9/26/2004 4:49:53 PM | Message Detail
you support the english even though they have maintained a
well-documented and controversial history of experimentation with
psycho-tropic drugs on their imperial knights in order to further
facilitate the blood thirsty genocidal rage necessary to carry out
their horrific crimes against the eskimo peoples native to north
america. i for one will not idly stand by and nod my head and pretend
that is okay. england must be stopped at all costs, and if you
disagree, then im sorry, but for a 4th time i will have to call you a
traitor. it is clear to me and everyone else that england's mad queen
has gone too far for too long. we as a country sat silent when england
destroyed atlantis, we turned a blind eye to their massacre of the
dinosaurs, when will it stop? The line must be drawn somewhere, and i
draw it here.
---
http://boards.gamefaqs.com/gfaqs/genmessage.php?board=2000165&topic=16361450&page=7
8.30.04
hmm
please....
7.18.04
it has become clear to me that i have expanded well beyond my means and
that a time of contraction is now nessessary. Its funny because
its almost like i can see everything thats going to happen in advance
and yet i am caught like I'm playing out a part in a play and have no
direct control over my own self. Im not saying that i believe in
destiny, but its a strange sensation to actively walk into what
you know will be a horrible situation. I know i am speaking in
generalities, but in a way, the specifics don't matter.. The
lessons and nature of the situations that are at hand are what matters..
it was less than a month ago that i thought i was cruising.. it really
truly felt like everything in my life was falling together and that i
was clearly in control. sometimes i look at myself and my life
and wonder how things got to where they are, like i have no relation to
my own existance, this body i inhabit is almost foreign and alien, like
Eric's memories were transplanted into my mind and now i have to pick
up things where he left off. I feel like a complete
outsider, like some wild animal that was given self-awareness and a
human body, and suddenly i don't know how to act, my instincts are all
off and nothing comes natural. Even my voice doesn't sound like my
own. I feel really bad who depend on me and trust me on a
personal level because i really have no idea what im doing or
why. i have no plan, no goal, all teh days just melt into one
long day and im tired and ready for a nap.
i feel like i have no relation to the person a month ago who was happy
and content with the way life was going, this person who had confidence
and could handle this chaos he was getting himself into. what the
hell happened??
Seriously i drive around and i see CORN stalks almost 6 feet tall and
im like wtf???
this is strange because:
a) I drive past the cornfield twice a day everyday. I literally
witnessed this corn grow on a daily basis and now its here and it was
more like one day nothing, the next day CORN.
b) why is there corn? where the hell am i and why do i live in the
middle of no where?
theres this old folk legend about a kid who is given a magic top.
when he spins the top time progresses and he is not consciously aware
of it. For example he would meet a girl and set up a date, he
could spin the top and all of a sudden the date would come with no
conscious serious of events leading to it. Of course the kid used
it, he wanted to grow up, so his childhood went by in a second, he
wanted to be rich and he spun the top and the next thing he knew he was
a rich businessman, but he didn't LIVE his life, it just spun by and he
missed all the magic little moments that make life worth living and
soon he was an old man and he was like "where did my life go?"
well that is how i feel, and i guess i've felt that way a long
time. Where did my life go? how did it get to where i am?
why do i feel like such a stranger?
i am clearly insane, but i doubt theres much i can do about it.
this entire post is frankly pointless.
that is all.
6.24.04
Once upon a time, i was walking through the halls of the temple to
oblivion in the 27th dimension when i had the sensation of being
followed. I stopped and tried to play it cool, but the tension in
the air was palpable, whatever it was, it gave off a tangible
aura of ominous dread. I glanced around nervously, when out of
the shadows behind me, something seeped into existance. It slowly
trickled from the shadows and took shape and form and before i had a
chance to run or gather my wits, it had completed its
manifestation. The Every Thing had arrived. I thought the
Thing was just myth, a legend, a complete fiction, but there it
stood before me as real and true as anything (which isn't very real or
true, but its real and true enough). It's skin was the dull flat
black of infinity, giving the impression of shifting while
staying the same. Its eyes glimmered with a fiery light that i
did not recognize, like liquid fire, but not quite. I was
petrified with a curiousity bordering on fear, but i stood my
ground. Running from a beast like the Every Thing was inviting it
to attack.
It spoke:
"I am the hunter, the all, the revolution, and the spoke of the wheel
of existance. I am the Every Thing, it is your time and i have come for
you." its voice seemed not to come from it but from everything else BUT
it. the walls, the floor, even my body (and soul?) spoke these
words while the Every Thing stood silent.
"who are you and why have you come for me?" i asked it. It paced
back and forth like a lion, staring at me with a piercing gaze as if
trying to find the proper angle to attack.
"I am the Every Thing, and you must re-enter the cycle, you must be
CONSUMED so you can be reborn." the Every Things spoke while contuining
its pace in a dance like rythm, its talons clacking against the ivory
white floor of the tower.
"So CONSUME me then," i said, raising my arms into the air. A
creature like this was too righteous to be reasoned with, i realized.
It paused a moment, just a half second of hesitation before it leaped
into the air and was upon me. I moved to slip its strike but it
seemed to envelop me like a blanket or net, what was once a beast of
limited size had seemed to become limitless. all around me was
the Every Thing, and I fell down against the ground. Its flesh
was cold on my skin as it pressed into me and the blackness leaked like
liquid underneith and soon there was no white floor at all.
All around me was the infinite black. time seemed to no longer
apply
to me. I could feel myself being melted away, being
consumed. My awareness of time and being faded, and my existance
seemed to have consisted of being
devoured and digested for eternity and it was all i had and
knew.
Then, i felt myself slipping away and I felt like i was nothing at
all. I was no longer
aware of ever being anything.
9 monthes later i was born.
and here i am.
6.21.04
its already been well established that im a coward (see 1.16.03 update)
but apparently, im also a hypocrite. for instance, i claim to
believe in a kind of universal love for everything, an inherent belief
that if you got to know everything and everyone, if you got to
understand the nature of all things in the world, you would come to
love it and cherish it, or at least understand and pity it. In
the heaven & hell scenario of existance i really don't believe
anyone deserves to go to hell. i think if god condemns someone to
hell for eternity, then it is God who is wrong, and that no hell could
exist if God is truly all knowing and all loving. Forgiveness is
a virtue!
Here is where the hypocracy comes in, i claim to at least try to follow
this as a guiding principle, meanwhile i seem to hate things and
superficially judge things w/ out giving it a chance. for
instance, i don't eat pork, i hate the idea of eating pork, it disgusts
me, and i rail against eating it, citing as reasons to not eat it: the
Koran, the Torah and the movie Pulp fiction. meanwhile, i've
never even eaten it! EVER! Also i claim to want to eat human
flesh. i know that is horrible and really it is more of a joke
than real because i think its funny to push the buttons of anyone with
any kind of respect/belief at all, but then lo and behold, most people
experienced in canabilism say it TASTES LIKE PORK. so therefore,
i now have decided human flesh would probably not taste good and i
don't really know how to acquire it anyways, and besides, what kind of
ghastly monster would eat a human in the first place? that is
disgusting!!! whoever thought it'd be a good idea is INSANE.
thats my official opinion. then there is the movie, the
matrix. i bad mouth that movie and its sequils but i've never
watched any of them! i tried once but i couldn't stand it and so i've
decided to rail against it. in a way, i am acting out of
ignorance and blind hatred! that is wrong, therefore, my official
opinion on "the matrix" is that i don't have an opinion and the movie
review i put on my site is inaccurate.
However, i stand 100% behind my review of the horse whisperer.
and shakespeare in love.
but to be serious, i am really a hypocrite in a bad way. I claim
to dislike ignorance and racism, meanwhile i don't disaprove of
racist jokes or language. I guess i justify it in my head by
saying "i don't HATE anything, the reason i think its okay is because I
know how WRONG it is, i think im ABOVE it so its not offensive" but
really i should be more careful because just because i am not offended
doesn't mean other people won't either. it is the same way with
vegetarianism, i think its wrong to torture animals to get us food, but
i still eat meat. that is hypocracy at its finestbut for
some reason it doesn't motivate me enough to take action. It
really makes me sad and i think someday i will get my act together but
today is not that day. my weakness disgusts me!
now aparently there are people in this world who think i am a racist
because someone (not me) put a message with the "n" word on the
messageboard. first of all, i didn't write the message on the
messageboard, and second of all, i have no control whatsoever over the
messageboard so even if i wanted to delete it i couldn't! my powers of
this website are limited! but having said that, i will say
however that i am not offended by anyone using that word. i think
it is ignorant and hurtful to some people and so i don't use it in my
vocabulary, as i RESPECT other peoples feelings. but it
doesn't offend me. i think all it does is reveal the person who
said its weakness as a person, and their extreme ignorance. Don't
say the "N" word unless you want to look like the ignorant redneck you
are! Race is a sensitive subject. everyone wants to tip toe
around all these race issues because it certainly seems that even
talking about race will put you in a boat with the most hated groups on
the planet (kkk/nazis/etc) however, i've decided to express a mini
diatribe on my views of race, despite the fact that it will probably
cause more harm than good:.
I don't believe in souls, but i do believe in the power of the mind and
that our existance is mostly in our own heads. in the grand
scheme of things, i almost view my body and my apperance as something
entirely sepperate from my "self" i mean that my body is a tool of the
mind and that is all, my body is not me although it is a part of
me. if i lost my body i would still be me. in that sense i
would say that all living things are just extensions of existance, and
that if "I" as in the absolute me was put into the body of a cat, i
wouldn't have the thoughts and feelings and passions that i have now, i
would be a CAT. i would live and exist as a cat. What does
any of this have to do with race? Human beings and all living
things, in my opinion, are just exactly what we are and nothing
else. nothing is better or worse than anything else and we all
have to get along and exist and thrive together, so any animosity or
petty squabling we have amongst ourselves are ultimately futile and
really rather a shame.
wow, the above is very nonsensical and incoherent, so allow me to add
1+1 and get 3...
bottom line:
I think its wrong to hate anything. To hate something means
that you can't understand or accept it for what it is. What
is the point in that? And to hate someone for something as
completly arbitrary and out of their control as race/gender/sexual
preference is just idiotic. Given the time, i think i could love
everyone if i had the chance. I sincerely hope there is a
time in the future where we can look back as human beings and laugh at
how ignorant, disgusting and cruel we as a race used to be.
meanwhile, im just a fool so i will continue to be an insensitive
nihilist and attempt to push all boundaries and taboos until they
tumble over and we can all be happily at the bottom together.
undoubtedly my actions and comments are going to be open for
interpretation, but i just hope someone somewhere will get the gist of
who i am and the reasoning behind what im doing.
but then again, im a coward and a hypocrite, so who am i to say
anything..
Rorac Senshi: Your wonderful question in your profile
asks how many
nihilists it takes to change a light bulb.
Auto response from Gaijinsenshi:
over THERE in bed
Rorac Senshi: Your answer was "zero".
Rorac Senshi: The reasoning you have behind your answer has nothing to
do with the question. If you said, "zero, because they'd make someone
else do it" then it would make sense.
Rorac Senshi: Or "zero because a non-nihilist would eventually go into
the room and replace the lightbulb"
Rorac Senshi: then it would make more sense.
Rorac Senshi: But to say "zero" because they're sitting around jerking
off and would rather not see each other doesn't have anything to do
with how many it actually takes to change the lightbulb (assuming that
a nihilist even knows how to change a lightbulb)
Rorac Senshi: Another factor would be, what kind of lightbulb?
Rorac Senshi: And what kind of nihilist?
Rorac Senshi: Is it a nihilist with no arms and legs? No eyes? No motor
skills?
Rorac Senshi: Is it a streetlamp?
Rorac Senshi: If it's a streetlamp that needs to be changed, and the
only available nihilists around are retarded and or missing limbs, then
it could take as many as a few hundred thousand nihilists to change it.
Rorac Senshi: With a bit of luck.
Rorac Senshi: However, if it's a standard lightbulb in a desk lamp with
a fairly intelligent human entity that chooses nihilist as a label to
describe it, then it may only take that one single nihilist.
Rorac Senshi: Well, that is all.
Rorac Senshi: I'd like to thank you for having that in your profile.
4.20.04
so... george w is a complete idiot, kerry is a shriveled muppet
and jesse ventura isn't running, therefore...
my national plan for reform:
end the "war on drugs" by having government made, regulated and taxed
marijuana cigarettes available for adults.
make 18 the legal age for drinking, gambling, etc. If you can
vote and die in a war, you should be allowed to lose your money betting
AGAINST the lakers
pull all soldiers from foreign soil, apologize to the millions of
innocents we've hurt and killed by acting irresponsibility
50% income tax for every dollar over 1 million a person earns a year
(what do they need all that bling for??)
eliminate income tax for those who earn less than 1 million, replace
income tax with a 20% national sales tax
examine and elliminate all unneeded government jobs (IRS) and make what
is left more efficient and streamlined.
up speed limits on freeways and highways to 90 miles per hour
disband corporation laws in favor of independantly owned businesses
with emphasis on morality and fairness to workers over the bottomline
heavy import taxes for companies who continue to use foreign slave
labor for goods (punks)
rehabilitation, counciling, community service instead of prison as
punishment for none violent offenders
legalization and implentation of civil and marriage rights for all citizens
disband the FCC, end all forms of government imposed censorship in
favor of self-imposed responsibility
change the "united states of america" to Adunailand
change the flag into something more fractally symetrical, possibly
involving a turtle
declare myself emperor of Adunailand
end the eric dynasty by stepping down from my position
that is all.
oh wait, theres this:
click here
3.17.04
St Patrick's day is
equivelent to Adunai Christmas, we believe a lepracaun was born on this
day to drink a lot and get in bar fights for our sins. We even
have our own St Patrick's
day carols.
Here's an example:
Lo-ud Night, drinking night
all are drunk, all will fight
round old lepracaun, crazy and wired
breaks a chair on the head of a child
drink a guiness ple-aaase
drink a guiness please
That is All.
Im serious this time.
3.5.04
From American Gods by
Neil Gaiman
Still, there was a tale he had
once read, long ago, as a
small boy: the story of a traveler who had
slipped down a
cliff, with man-eating tigers above him and a
lethal fall
below him, who managed to stop his fall
halfway down
the side of the cliff, holding on for
dear life. There was a
clumb of strawberries beside him, and
certain death above
him and below. What should he do? went the
question.
And the reply was, Eat the strawberries.
3.4.04
So you may or may not be aware of "Ninja Scroll" the series available
in three volumes on DVD. Many of you will see that and immediatly
decide that sight unseen to put down 60+ dollars for the whole
set. This would be a mistake. Learn from me, my brothers..
Ninja Scroll: the series is 12 episodes of new original Ninja Scroll
storyline created by the original designer of Ninja Scroll the
movie. You would naturally assume that it would totally kick ass
and be full of super wicked ninja action. This assumption would
be wrong.
Ninja Scroll the series is about as much "Ninja Scroll" as Ninja
Ressurection was. The animation is a major downgrade from the
movie(obviously) but even the characters look different. Jubei is
not nearly as well drawn as he used to be, giving a distictly assholish
appearance, and even in a non-superficial way, he has turned into an
egotistical pretty boy who TOTALLY bought into his own hype.
Jubei basically turned into Squal. The new characters in the
movie are monster things that someone on crack made up. Wtf? A
pedal hellocopter umbrella with a sword on the end of it? A fat
chick with long sentient hair that works like tentacles? the list goes
on and on.. its really stupid. blah blah blah..
theres no point in writing this, you guys are gonna give it a chance
anyways no matter how bad i say it is here. This is like teaching
absitinance in schools, totally futile. So go to it and
enjoy? Just be smart and only buy one DVD not all three until
you've had a chance to experience it for yourself.
2.21.04
in even further breaking news, my great grandmother's birthday is
today.. and in a remarkable yet fitting coincidence, so is Dr. Dre's.
hrm..
3 monthes since the last update and i think thats all i got.
damn. hm.
fine fine, here's a little life update:
i work at a coffee shop and a bookstore, if you somehow find yourself
lost in the middle of no where, look for the signs pointing towards
lancaster and come visit. I will make you free coffee if you
mention the word "adunai".
Address:
paramount coffee
river valley mall
lancaster, Ohio
um, hmm.. yeah.
that is all.
in breaking news..
"Animals have been embossed along its length in brilliant colors.
White butterflies, scarlet tanagers, blue tanagers, silver
swallowtails, and the occassional flailing scorpion all grace this
rather gaudy implement in minute detail."
mehakoi: only you would take the ugliest thing ever
mehakoi: and turn it into a theme
Gaijinsenshi: haha
Gaijinsenshi: you know
Gaijinsenshi: im almost ready to take this strap to the next level
Gaijinsenshi: and making it my theme in real life
mehakoi: you need to sleep
Gaijinsenshi: just think
Gaijinsenshi: its like
Gaijinsenshi: a beautiful tropical scene
Gaijinsenshi: with butterflies
Gaijinsenshi: and colorful tropical birds
Gaijinsenshi: and like
Gaijinsenshi: occasionally, theres a sinister looking flailing scorpion
Gaijinsenshi: ready to ruin the fun
mehakoi: haha
Gaijinsenshi: wtf
mehakoi: haha
Gaijinsenshi: who could come up with something like this
Gaijinsenshi: like
Gaijinsenshi: what kind of deranged lunatic creates this
Gaijinsenshi: it is beautiful
mehakoi: i think
mehakoi: there is a fine line where stupidity, madness, and genius
intersect. And that strap is walking it, and its possable to think
about it accurately from all those angles.
mehakoi: not to overanylize it
mehakoi: but
mehakoi: all grace this rather gaudy implement in minute detail.
mehakoi: is what makes it
this is one of those things that will seem a lot less interesting when
i wake up tomorrow..
this will still be interesting though:
A horned frog is knocked over by the wind!
A horned frog grabs hold of the ground to keep from being sucked into
the void!
12.31.03
Hm, monthly updates huh?
Anyways. Last day of the new year.. how exciting?
So to end this year with a bang, i've decided to leave you with a quote
that pretty much sums up the entire adunai year:
"wait wait, is this a metaphor
or are you actually insinuating we kill one of them to send a message?"
- my co-worker steve responding to something i said about
management.
that is all.
12.10.03
If they were going to have a midgit be the Last
Samurai, they should have made it Gary Coleman
instead of Tom
Cruise
Also, congradulations on your dissertation being accepted Aunt
Jody. I'm VERY proud of you!
PS. i beat small children:
faith005.jpg
faith007.jpg
Just kidding: faith002.jpg
12.2.03
There is NOTHING like cold speghettio's..
they are cold and they have the texture of worms.
they also taste like worms.
there is a sniper in ohio killing people on a 5 mile stretch of the 270
freeway. A dozen people have been shot while driving.
but don't worry, thus far i have not been killed.
this won't make any sense...
Cassie asked me if talking about her period bothered me and i told her
no. She asked me if I would buy her tampons, and i told her
if it was an emergency or something i would, but not if she wanted to
just arbitrarily torture me. She thought it was sweet i would do
it at all. Now she is explaining what an "aplicator" is, so
instead of paying attention I'm writing this update.
Lalalalala... if i just say "uh huh" i will never have to hear or
understand this. What i really need is an audio recording of me
saying "uh huh" I could have like 4 phone lines and all the people who
call me to tell me about their lives could call whenever they wanted
and they would never know i wasn't actually there listening to
them. If this paragraph doesn't make any sense its because i've
shut off my brain in an act of self preservation.
quick update: i just asked her if a deformed alien baby had ever come
out of her, but she said no.
okay, im back...
I wrote a heart warming story in time for christmas. Its a
shakespeare tragedy, a story of a man and his undying love for an axe
he used to kill people
you can read it here: Rorac's
Stupid Axe
11.9.03
Dear Management,
I am sorry i was late to work today, i didn't have car trouble or
oversleep. i got up on time but when i went upstairs to the
kitchen i decided to have eggs instead of cereal. I made this
decision knowing it would make me 10 minutes late for work, but i could
not sacrifice my happiness for your timeclock.
sincerely,
eric
10.18.03
the "battle of the sexes" isn't going well for us, men.
who the hell allowed this "sweetest day" thing to
happen? another
consumer driven holliday women use to get attention and gifts?
for those of you who haven't heard of sweetest day, its basically
Valentines Day October. I don't know if its in other parts of the
country, but it is a holliday here.
if we continue to sit idle, women and greedy CEO's of card
companies will eventually declare every single day a holliday in which
we have to buy flowers/cards/jewelry for chicks, then take them to see
a horrifying movie (i.e. SHAKESPEARE IN LOVE)
I have seen the future, and it is pink and fluffy.
therefore, it is time we launch a counter offensive:
i declare the october 21st to be "bitch leave me alone day"
10.15.03
so the curse of the cubs goes
on.. I knew they wouldn't make it to the world series, when you
got a 95 year losing streak going, you can't just snap out of it like
that, theres too much inertia and momentum going the other way.
at least they've slowed the descent downward into the sports bottomless
pit...
what else?
i dunno..
maybe a small diatribe on death
and suicide
When i die, i want to go one of two ways (well
3) this is the order:
1)Cryogenic freeze. Im a nihilist, i want to live forever,
cryogenic freezing in the hopes of reviving me later (as a cyborg???)
gives me the best chance of that..
2)Jumping into a volcano. If i die, i don't want to leave a
corpse, i don't want anyone to look at my dead lifeless body.
That to me is wrong. I don't want a body to rot in the ground,
eventually eaten by worms and bacteria. No thank you. Plus
you have to factor in being burried alive, or coming back as a
zombie. Right here and now i swear i will never be a
zombie! its just not gonna happen. Cremation is an OKAY
alternative, but no thanks to that either. That means a family
member or stranger has found my corpse, my bodies been put into a bag,
then i've been thrown into an oven. I AM NOT A PIZZA. i
don't want those things to happen, any of them. I don't want a
pile of ashes that are me
. I want nothingggg..... Therefore, the solution is simple:
Jump into a volcano. No one will ever find my dead corpse, i will
leave no remains, and most importantly, i will exit this world by my
own volition.
This is important to me. Dying of natural causes is like letting
nature, disease, or God beat you. If i die, i want to kill
myself, in my mind its the only way to go. I want to die by my
own choice, not from some natural occurance, not from an accident, or
anyone's will but my own.
baring those two things, i only have one option:
3) Blended into oblivion. I once read that there is an art museum
in europe with a blender and a goldfish that lives inside the
blender. The blender has a coin slot, and for a quarter (or
probably some euro coin) you can turn on the blender, liquidating the
goldfish. If there is really such a thing as art, this is
definetly it. On a tangent i might wonder how many goldfish they
go through a day, but i will not go on that tangent. Instead, i
will say that if i die, this is another way i would like to go. I
personally don't have whatever it takes to put a quarter in that
machine to turn on the blender. However, i wanted to see the
effects, and my gold fish died of natural causes (or by its own
choice!) so i put it in there. There was nothing left of him,
except some beautiful sparkling silver in the water. Some people
may think im desturbed for trying it, but it was already dead, and is
flushing it down the toilet any worse? any disrespectful? a toilet is
for waste, my goldfish was my friend and comrade, so i sent him out the
way i would like to be sent out if my corpse is ever found. it'd
take a big blender, but hopefully by the time i die, i will be worth
putting the time and effort into fulfilling my wishes.
in the likely event all of those things aren't feasable,
and my corpse is found in the conventional sense, and you all feel
obligated to have a normal funeral for me, here is what i would like in
my coffin:
- a katana.
- a gameboy advance.
- my shaq shoes (in case there is basketball in the afterlife)
- Poncho.
hmmm, that sounds about right..
I just thought i'd make my wishes known, life is uncertain, and
sometimes it can be fragile. i guess its better safe than sorry.
that is all.
9.24.03
Life is
....good.
all my heroes are dead,
they
were just mortal men afterall..
i'll be dead too, someday, but not yet.
I feel good. I worked from 9am to 10pm today, but i still feel
good. Im on the upswing and gaining momentum.
some minor points:
I was driving home today, and i realized why i don't like
driving.
Well, the truth is, i DO like driving, i just like driving fast.
Speed limits ruin driving completly for me. If i could go
90-100mph
on these roads i would love it. I had having to be careful not to
speed too fast, and always having to pay attention for cops. I am
a good driver, i don't get in car accidents, i don't make a lot of
mistakes.
I wouldn't drive too fast that i couldn't control my car. I know
what speed im capable of driving safetly. It is not 55-65 on
these
damn country roads. It is 80-90. but here i am, going 65,
feelin
like a chump slow poke. It is NOT FUN. so, i enjoy driving,
but only when i can drive fast (which is never)
I found out pancho villa had a deal with a movie director to film the
war, which is basically the first reality tv show, kinda crazy.
anyways,
i went to investigate this further and found some interesting things:
A number of years ago, a Mexican village had a
controversy about
which skull belonged to Pancho Villa. There were
two skulls, one
much larger than the other. After a vote, the
town elders solemnly
decreed that both skulls belonged to Villa. One
skull was Villa as a
teenager, and the other was Villa as an adult.
I also read this:
"You ask me eef I know Pancho Villa? I had
lunch
weeth heem thees afternoon."
I should write more, i know. Im sorry. I will try harder
to finish my story ideas and get my act together.
By next Wensday, i give my word that i will have part 4 of a more
perfect machine up, and one other story i've been meaning to write.
9.12.03
Johnny Cash died.
the last song, on his last album:
We'll meet again
We'll meet again, don't know where, don't know when,
But I know we'll meet again, some sunny day.
Keep smiling through, just like you always do,
'Til the blue skies drive the dark clouds far away.
So will you please say hello to the folks that I know,
Tell them I won't be long.
They'll be happy to know that as you saw me go,
I was singing this song.
We'll meet again, don't know where, don't know when,
But I know we'll meet again, some sunny day.
So will you please say hello to the folks that I know,
Tell them I won't be long.
They'll be happy to know that as you saw me go,
I was singing this song.
Keep smiling through, just like you always do,
'Til the blue skies drive the dark clouds far away.
Johnny Cash was the first member of both the rock and roll and
country
music hall of fame.
While Johnny may have wiggled his way free of this mortal coil, he
shall
live on forever in our hearts.
I dedicate him as the first Adunai Immortal.
that is all.
8.27.03
"I believe no gentleman would repine to give ten shillings for the
carcass of a good fat child, which, as I have said, will make four
dishes
of excellent nutritive meat, when he hath only some particular friend
or
his own family to dine with him...
...Those who are more thrifty (as I must confess the times require)
may flay the carcass; the skin of which artificially dressed will make
admirable gloves for ladies, and summer boots for fine gentlemen."
from Jonathon Swift's A Modest Proposal
also
Monkey Man Jim! a
must read for all my
friends. if you'd like to make a donation, email me at isen@adunai.net
8.12.03
do i have style?
you're god damn right i have style.
it may not be easily seen or identified but it doesn't mean its not
there. Just because i don't fit into a genre of pre-clasified
styles
doesn't mean i don't have a style all my own. I have an
indistiguishable
style for the purpose of preventing anyone else from copying me.
I'm one of a kind.
What is this style? its hard to see, but my nature is shown in my
eyes,
and my movements. My actions. They way i handle
myself.
It is masterfully wielded but unrefined, bluntly honest but remarkably
subtle. It comes on like a drug, and it unravels slowly. My
style is there, brothers, just because you cannot pidgeonhole it into a
neat little box does not mean it doesn't exist. It is even in my
appearance, revealed to the perceptive eye but closed off to
those
unwilling or uninterested. I can be modest or arogant, but im
always
self assured. I seek to blend in while setting myself
apart. My style is a contradiction, my style is who i am as a
person.
Everything i do is an attempt to stay in tune with myself, an attempt
to
further refine who i am, and the style and self i present to the
world.
If you think i don't have style, maybe you're not paying attention...
It is elusive, without appearing so.
and it will never be duplicated.
7.21.03
cause not livin' in a box hasn't worked out so far, here is my
ambitious
plan for the future
7.17.03
Im like a ninja master with the lightning fast moves..
ninjistics is all in the mind.
anyways, back to BASKETBALL
8179. Lebron's no-look passes...
by Zekesbrother, 7/17/03 18:35 ET
will improve his teammates' attention span. He bounced two off of
Carlos
Boozer's head during the Celtics game. The second one came right back
to
him for an easy lay-up.
8179.1. dude thats sweet
by Isen, 7/17/03 21:51 ET
Re: Lebron's no-look passes... by Zekesbrother, 7/17/03
dude thats sweet!! did carlos get an assist?!?
7.15.03
its like all is lost, all is lost, all is lost, all is lost, all is
lost, all is lost, all is lost, all is lost, all is lost, all is lost,
all is lost, all is lost, all is lost, all is lost, all is lost, all is
lost, all is lost, all is lost, all is lost, all is lost, all is lost,
all is lost, all is lost, all is lost, all is lost, all is lost, all is
lost, all is lost, all is lost, all is lost, all is lost, all is lost,
all is lost, all is lost, all is lost, all is lost, all is lost, all is
lost, all is lost, all is lost, all is lost, all is lost, all is lost,
all is lost, all is lost, all is lost, all is lost, all is lost, all is
lost, all is lost, all is lost, all is lost, all is lost, all is lost,
all is lost, all is lost, all is lost, all is lost, all is lost, all is
lost, all is lost, all is lost, all is lost, all is lost, all is lost,
all is lost, all is lost...
and in steps.......
.....
. ......
.... ... .. .
...............
....?
if the second swordsman is comin, he better hurry
7.11.03
whats up now bitch, huh?
you act all tough when you got your thugs and im alone, but poncho
rolls
in and you're like "im out" whats up wit dat? you're just a punk ass
busta.
word.
7.9.03
I HAVE A HANGNAIL AND I SQUEEZED IT AND LIKE 3 PINTS OF PUSS
CAME OUT AND I WAS LIKE EEEWWWW WTF SO I TOOK A PIN, AND SHOVED IT IN
THE
HOLE THE PUSS CAME FROM, AND LIKE, I WAS TRYING TO FEEL THE PIN OR PUSH
THE PIN AGAINST FLESH, BUT THE PIN KEPT GOING UNTIL IT WAS ALL THE WAY
IN MY FINGER, AND IT DIDN'T HURT AT ALL. I NO LONGER THINK IT WAS
PUSS, AND I NO LONGER THINK THAT WAS A HANGNAIL, I THIKN WHEN I WAS
DIGGING
THE TRENCH AN ANCIENT EVIL WORM CLIMBED INTO MY MIDDLE FINGER AND WAS
MAKING
A COCCOON SO IT COULD HATCH OUT AND BEGIN ITS EVIL REIGN OF TERROR ON
MIDDLE
OHIO. HOWEVER, I HAD THE COURAGE AND FORSIGHT TO FRAG THAT BITCH
BEFORE IT COULD FINISH ITS METAMORPHORSIS. WHAT THANKS DO I GET FOR
SAVING
OHIO? NOTHING! NO ONE WILL EVER EVEN HEAR MY HEROIC TALE, ITS LIKE I
DID
IT FOR NOTHING! NEXT TIME AN ALIEN OR ANCIENT BEAST OR DEMON COMES TO
KILL
A RETARDED MIDWESTERN STATE, IM GOING TO LET IT!
7.5.03
The bottomless pit conundrum
someone should inform me what would happen if there was a bottomless
pit in the earth, and you went down to the middle, technically any way
you'd go would be up from the center of gravity, so would you just
float?
or would momentum carry you down? or what? I MUST KNOW. I have
already
theorized that it would go to the center until it found its center of
equalibrium,
and hten it'd just float. this is also the theory most
intelligent
people say. However, i want more than just theory, i want SOLID
fact,
i mean come on, someone must know the answer and be able to back it up
with mathematics.
P.S. I know the earth is filled with magma that would come
seeping
out with misc other things if you made a hole through it, HOWEVER, i
said
bottomless, and magma clogging up my god damn hole would mean there was
a BOTTOM, so nice try smart guy. If you can't get over it, then
how
about if we went to the moon and had a hole there, it is the same
principle.
Also another FLAW you punks point out is that i would likely die in the
hole because of pressure, or something similar. Again, this is a
meaningless technicality, but if you can't get over that either (ie
you're
too focused on realism) then what if we dropped a bowling ball in?
Rorac and I were discussing it, and being lazy in a really scary
way,
where its not so much as an unwillingness to take action, its more of
an
unwillingness to take an action that seems boring, conventional,
practical,
or time consuming. Rather than learn physics or go somewhere and
ask someone who would know the answer, we thought maybe we could go to
the moon and try it out (since earth is impractical because of the
above
reasons)
However, there were some problems with this idea.. first off, no
countries
fly TO the moon anymore, those bastards would rather kick it in skylab
(a sequel to sealab??) than go to the moon. why? i have no idea,
it makes no sense to build a building in a sky, when there is already a
solid objecting floating in space they could build on instead. What?
you
suckas don't like the moon? ANYWAYS so we'd have to get rich, buy
our way unto a russian shuttle like that n'sync dude, and then JUMP for
the moon. Hopefully momentum and the moons gravity, with a bit of
luck will land us on the lunar surface. Second problem: how do
you
dig a hole THROUGH the moon. Given that those soviet bastards (i
know communism is dead, shut up) won't let us bring some sort of
massive
digging device or explosives, we would have to do it with
shovels.
However, given the lack of food, oxygen, etc on the moon, we likely
wouldn't
have time to dig the hole all the way through before we DIED.
This
problem has a solution though, I figure enough crazy nihilists will try
it, and eventually the hole will be dug. With any luck, they will
toss my corpse in first. That would bring a tear to my long dead,
but not rotten (do to the lack of air/decompositioning elements such as
bacteria in space) eye.
So to summarize:
someone tell me what would happen if i jumped into a bottomless pit,
so that i don't have to spend my hole life saving up money so i can
jump
off a rocket ship, land on the moon, and dig until i die.
A FINAL NOTE:
Poncho arrived at Ninja Princess Nicole's house looking for me.
My heterosexual inanimate lifemate and sidekick is on his way to
Ohio.
He was very sober from being in a box for almost a year so i told her
to
pour some tequila on him. She didn't have any, she only had Capt
Morgan Spice Rum. Its not tequila, but it'll do.
THE END
7.4.03
everyone was on the lake to watch fireworks and then the wind started
picking up to around 50 mph, and the waves were like 2 feet, and
everyone
was going as fast as they could to make it to the docks in time, and it
started raining and lightning was flashing and im sure 3 or 400 people
must have been killed, it was awesome. Best 4th of july ever.
6.26.03
So tonight is the night Lebron will be sacrificed for our sins,
standing
amidst the spotlight and the watchful eyes of millions of people, the
CHOSEN
ONE will stand up as a new man, a new incarnation of might and hope, to
bring salvation to Cleveland and Ohio basketball fans, to lead us
through
the long journey to the promised land. The great Lebron, King James,
has
finally come to forgive us for our mistakes and to make the path clear
to us, so that all past injuries and hardships will be forgotten. But
when
will it end? when all is said and done, and we stand at the Garden of
the
Absolutes, staring into the GREAT river of existance and see
where
we once drifted aimlessly without guidance, without propulsion, just
floundering
like a helpless ship without a sail, will we look back and be able to
say
"WE STOOD UP AND TOOK OUR PLACE AMONGST THE CHAMPIONS!" or will our
place
in valhalla be amongst the trajedies of LIFE and the UNIVERSE,
unfulfilled,
unempowered, our desires and potentials unsatisfied. Only THE GREAT
KING
JAMES knows the answer, for only he has the power to bring fruitation
to
his destiny. But tonight my friends, tonight is the first step
into
an original tommorrow, into untreaded territory. May the Adunai
light
our paths to salvation.
6.22.03 (next day edition)
heres a economics lesson
for you
6.22.03
the best thing that ever happened to me in my entire life was right
now i was very thirsty and my glass was empty, but i found another one
sitting next to my speaker that was half full and i drank it and now i
am a little better
the end
oh yeah, buzzy was dead when i got home, then my sister was a sadist
and crushed the carcass for no reason.
oh yeah, then daphny went to jail for being stupid. many of
you
don't think its a crime, but it is.
oh yeah, and then i AM NEVER GOING FISHING AGAIN, because its
boring.
oh yeah, and sometimes i am so closed up in my own head that i can't
see anything else around and my little eric trapped inside my head
bangs
against my skull and says, let me out let me out! but no one can hear
him
but me, and to me it just sounds like white noise like
bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
oh yeah, and at the sweet corn festival in millersport ohio they
have
good corn for a buck fifty, which seems like a lot and it is, but i
plan
on eating like fifty pieces of it
oh yeah and this oh yeah thing is annoying.
so anyways, how are you guys doing? yeah? thats great.
everyone is very lucky theres something wrong with me holding me
back
from exploding like a firecracker. if im a firecracker (which i
doubt)
i think i might be a dud.
6.6....03, haha you thought i was gonna say 666..
BUZZY:
i wish i had a webcam so i could leave BUZZYCAM up all week while im
away at a beach house in cape hatteras getting eaten by sharks.
who is buzzy?
i was sitting here at my computer and a fly was flying around and
annoying
the hell out of me, so i shot my hand out, and, being a hindu
spiritualist,
gently collected him from the air, doing no harm. WHAT TO DO WITH
A FLY? if i let him go, he'd annoy me, and im too lazy to get up
and let him go outside, and im not gonna squish the little bastard, so
the choice was obvious:
Buzzy was to become my new pet!
i took a glass from off my desk, put buzzy in and flipped it upside
down. I propped it up slightly so there could be air. I put
a piece of bread in there and some water, so he will be well nurished..
but will it be enough?
Will buzzy survive a week with his loving and adoring owner and master?
will he escape his cage?
will he starve?
do flies have short life spans? will he die of old age before i return?
all these questions will be answered and more on the next episode
of.......
ADUNAI.NET!
ps. i hate the matrix, and the
matrix2
even though i haven't watched either of them.
pss luna is buzzys godmother
5.16.03
Everyone who knows me knows i *love* the matrix! it's my favorite
movie!! you can read my review here
!!! its so good and mind bending! it opened my mind in so many ways!!
so i decided to put a LOT of effort (weeks, monthes) into writing my
own unofficial sequel to the BEST MOVIE OF ALL TIME!!! this took
a LOT of time and effort, i really poured my heart and soul into this
project,
so please, take a look! this is really serious!
so without further ado..
here it is..
THE
MATRIX:
REQUIEM <-click there
5.4.03
i watched a nature show about african crocadiles. They inhabit
certain beaches along the rivers, and the larger ones live only on the
yearly migration of wildebeasts. A lot of animals bury their eggs
on the crocadile beaches because the presense of the crocs mean that a
lot of egg eating predators won't use their eggs for food. This
includes
birds, lizards, and also turtles. They showed a sequence when the
turtle eggs hatched, and the tiny, helpless, innocent turtles
were
running towards the safety of water, trying to avoid the many dangerous
predators. One of the babies scuddled right in front of a crocadile...
The crocadile turned its head, opened its mouth and scooped the baby
turtle into its mouth. Its massive jaws closed around the tiny
hatchling...
the crocadile then worked its way to the water and opened her mouth,
gently helping the turtle reach the safetly of the river.
4.30.03
Charles Bukowski has a book called 'war all the time' and i think i
understand what he means.
its like everywhere you look there is battle, and our side is
losing.
We have all these horrible things goin on, war in iraq, injustice,
lying
politicians, lying media, everyone has their own agendas, everyone is
trying
their best to get away with something, to get a little more blood from
us. I can't make an opinion about this Iraqi war because i don't
think theres a cut and dry case to be made either way. When i saw
iraqi's cheering and burning pictures of saddam as american tanks drove
through the town, i figured, well, regardless of our motivations for
the
war, at least this is good. At least these people would
be
more free to live better lives. But now its like, they are
talking
of restoring islamic law in Iraq, which is very strict and limiting to
women. You just can't win. And now what? Americans are
firing
at iraqi protestors? whats that about? I mean, the whole thing was just
like jumping into the gaping mouth of a rabid wild animal, in an
attempt
to save it. We'll be lucky if any good comes from this.
But i don't just mean war in the literal fashion. War is
everywhere,
people dealing with poverty, businesses ripping people off, everyone
trying
to get more and more when they have enough as it is. I spent an
hour
of my life this week trying to get 40 dollars back that was charged on
my credit card without my permission. I know this is some
insignifigant,
but it was annoying. No one would help me, they were like "too
bad",
until i got angry and had to call the place. I mean, im a
reasonable
person, why were these guys so upset that i wanted money back for
something
that they made a mistake on? How can they just not care?
Money
is more important then humans apparently.
So much more badness. I just want to escape, i just want a boat and
a fishing pole and i never want to see civilization again.
Live the raw pure life.
The government is so screwed up, but its not surprising. How
can
300 million people find a way to get along and live together happily
when
you can't even get alone with your family and friends. I mean,
these
people are supposed to love you, but theres so many problems, so much
corruption
and bullshit in our relationships with our loved ones. I heard
from
my aunt that one of their friends murdered his best friend. I
mean
these guys were probably like brothers, they spent a lot of time
together on the road buying and selling railroad stuff, but some dumb
argument
turned to MURDER. I don't understand how you can look at someone
you know and care about, and choose to kill them. I can't even
kill
a bird, and i hate birds.
Its like my ex-girlfriend daphny. We tried to work it out, but
man, it just didn't happen. There can be plenty of blame either
way,
but the part about it that destroys me is this sense of betrayal i get
from her. Shes been calling me and talking to me a lot lately (we
broke up over a year ago) and i was very tenative about the whole
thing,
i mean i gave up everything for this girl and she turned her back on
me.
But like an idiot, i got caught back into it. She said how she
loved
me and wanted to work things out and be with me, and it kinda sounded
like
a good idea. I was happy with her, even if the circumstances and
things sucked. She lied to me a lot, but people change, people
can
mature. Well yesterday she told me how i was the only one for
her,
and how i should *trust her* and that she'd show me that she loved
me.
Meanwhile I find out from my cousin that shes not into me, and she is
into
some other guy. I should have guessed, in fact, i did, but its
like,
i wanted to believe her. and now that this stuff has
happened, how did i react? calm and mature? Like a thoughtful
intelligent
person? nope. I got pissed off and left her a mean note calling
her
bad names. Im human, im just as bad as everyone else. Now im not
angry, i just feel heartbroken and betrayed because i thought with my
heart
instead of my head. I lost that war.
Its like you just scream for something to show you that there is
hope,
that maybe theres a chance the world will work out after all. A
small
victory, somewhere, to show that we're not all doomed. That we
might
be able to come out of this life leaving a better world then we came
into
it. It just seems for every step forward its two steps
backwards.
Everyone is angry, everyone is unsatisfied. Professional athletes
are making millions while there are people starving in the streets.
Politicians
lie to get power they have no reason to hold or use. Its all just
the same old lines, its all just rhetorical bullshit to trick people
into
thinking they are on our side. Then we got the so-called
"revolution"
indy media, protestors, etc who are just as bad as the people they
hate.
Fighting for causes that just don't make sense or are impossible
(restitution
for slavery) and using propaganda to rally people to their side.
The side of truth is a lonely side, because no one pays attention to it
or believes it anyways.. too busy pushing their own agenda. and
even
when they get what the want, are they really happy? is anyone
satisfied?
Even if you have everything you want, how can you be happy seeing so
much
unhappiness everywhere else?
And what side am i on? slowly feeling like i have no choice but to
take
care of myself. too bad.. im another lost one.
So whats the solution? Escape like a rat on a sinking
ship?
Or fight futilly against a system that is invincible? Some people
say things are better now than they were 100 years ago, and i hope
they're
right, but im not so sure.
Too much of everything wrong, and not enough rays of goodness
shining
through. The only people that seem to be happy and doing alright
are the ones with blinders on who do everything they can to meet their
own needs regardless of the concequences. people who are willing
to exploit everyone and just lie through their their teeth for their
own
benefit. people who just don't care that the world around them is
collapsing, as long as they have theirs.
I can't even put to words my true thoughts, it all comes out jumbled
and impotent like this, probably unreadable. No impact.
Nothing..
just a hopeless arrow shot at the void.
4.20.03
AND FOR THE AWARD OF WHO LOOKS THE MOST LIKE AN EVIL MUPPET, THE
WINNER
IS>>>>
DELLA REESE
I thought it was maya angelou (which would have been funnier) but
its
not, its DELLA REESE, from the great tv show "touched by an angel"
I CAN'T TELL
booby prize goes to maya angelou, who im sure has been an
inspiration
to you all:
temporay fish log:
4/16 6 fish, 3 blue gill, 3 croppies
4/17 skunked
4/18 i got the hattrick, a large mouth bass, a croppie and a blue gil
4/19 caught a blue gil which broke my line and ate my lucky lure
4/20 skunked again, do'h!
4/23 caught 6 crappies, 2 large mouth bass, and a... goldfish.
It was swimmin around and so i caught it with a net. I put it in
my fish tank where it met its demise as turtle food.
4/24 caught a crappie and a blue gil 8.75 inches long (.25 away from
being a fish ohio fish.. aw)
4/27 skunked
4/28 skunked
4/30 caught a tiny crappie while i was doing all the cement work for
my grandpas dock. A HUGE bass broke my line, had to be 20 inches
easy, so i lost another of the magic lures. I put a new one on
and
the first cast i tossed go snagged on some rocks. Not wanting to
lose two in a row, i jumped in the lake and rescued it. Nothin
was
really biting other than that.
5/1 2 crappies
5/3 2 crappies and a perch to mix it up
5/4 2 crappies.. argh
5/5 no beer or tequila, just 10 crappies
5/6 they were't biting, skunked
5/7 i didn't go fishin
i forgot to update, but since then i caught 4 large mouth bass and
2 crappies last sunday with a pole i madeout of a stick
4.16.03
This website has been many things. Humorous, stupid,
anti-government,
pro-government, anti-gravity, a game show, corporate propaganda,
nonsensical,
and at one time it was even converted to a website all about amateur
rocketeering
at one time. (my attempts to reach orbit failed.)
But now, we're moving on to the next level.
FISHING!
In ohio, there is a program called "Fish Ohio" where if you catch a
fish of at least a minimum required length, you get a 'Fish Ohio'
pin.
If you catch 4 different fish that meet that criteria, you win what is
called the "Master Angler's Pin".
I've always been a big fan of fishing *theoretically* what could be
better then kickin it in some nice weather near a lake with some good
people
just taking it easy, and not caring if you caught anything, just
enjoying the company and the time to think and contemplate the meaning
of the universe and of nature. However, a dilemna was
reached.
As much as that SOUNDS like it could be nice, not catching anything
slowly
grates away the relaxing mood of the trip. Apparently I am not
much
of a fisherman, with a streak of not catching a single fish reaching
back
about two years. Last week my dad even tried to GIVE me his pole
when he already had a fish on it. I had reached the bottom, some
changes had to be done.
So i went to the man, my grandfather. He lives ON the lake,
and
has probably fished everyday for the past 10 years. He showed me
his 'trick'.. using a GREEN PLASTIC LURE INSTEAD OF LIVE BAIT! and just
moving it like it was alive. I was skeptical at first. I
have
been fishing 5 times in the last two weeks and not caught anything, why
would fish bite a hunk of plastic? Doesn't make any sense to me.
but it worked.
In what I swear couldn't have been more then 5 minutes, i had caught
and released 5 fish of varying sizes and species. Ah,
suddenly
the Master Angler pin seemed not quite so far out of my range of
abilities.
2.02.03
completly random incoherent nonsense:
I hate people who say there's no gravity in space
there is gravity in space.
I hate gravity, but i hate those people more.
in fact, i hate all the forces.
i hate them because they cannot be destroyed,
it is IMPOSSIBLE TO DESTROY THE FORCES!
I only like things that can die.
1.28.03
*yawns*
added shakespear in love and the matrix to the movie
review page
that is all.
1.16.03
03???? what the hell?
oh well.. time for a lil bitty rant..
some people commend me for my courage or think im a brave fearless
soul.
i embrace it, i mean, hell, its a cool reputation to have. but
some
people see through the facade, and since the word will get out
eventually,
i better fess up now before i look like a wimp AND a poser.
i am a coward. if i wasn't a coward, my car would would have
skis
instead of wheels (wheels are gay, you idiots drive around looking like
fruitcakes with your god damn wheels, jesus christ, they are gay,
and not in the homosexual way, i'm PC and sensitive to miniorities, im
talking about gay in the really really really FUCKING GAY WAY) or
better
yet, i wouldn't even have a car, i'd have an airplane with pontoons,
and
i'd just land on water all the time. Also, if i wasn't such a
coward,
i wouldn't go to school, i would wander the countryside gambling,
pillaging,
helping people, saving lives, stealing, killing, being a hero, being a
villian, and never getting caught. That is the life, not sitting
here kissing teacher's ass, reading EMERSON, and writing 900 MILLION
PAGE
ESSAYS ABOUT HIS BULLSHIT. If i wasn't wandering the countryside
(that would get old) i would be at home building a rocket so i could go
to the moon and NEVER COME BACK. because im not smart enough to
devise
a way home, i'd either have to wing it, or kick it there. If i
wasn't
such a coward, man, i could really go places, but instead, here i am,
living
the slow life.
what have you learned from this?
I hate wheels, but like skis and pontoons.
I hate emerson
I don't hate homosexuals but im insensitive to their cause
im in college
im a coward
the moon would be an okay place for me to live
that is all.
11.29.02
a epic story, told multimedia style, just for you: click
here
11.08.02
I have the flu
i wrote two new stories, you can see em on the story page
hmmm
that is all.
11.04.02
Um, I found all 8 seasons of red dwarf on VCD (plays in both computer
cdroms and most dvd players) for about 100 dollars with shipping.
I don't know if any of you are interested, but i was thinking we could
buy them, put the iso's on Josh's HD and ftp, and burn copies for
whoever
else wanted them. I figure the more people chipping in on them
means
less cost for all of us, and i know theres a lot of people that
wouldn't
mind having the entire series. If you're interested, e-mail me or
post on the message board.
11.02.02
well, Alan has brought something to my attention, its called Bayes
theorem. Its explained like this:
In this problem, Monty shows the contestant three doors. Behind one
door is a fabulous prize (a shiny red Italian sportscar), and behind
the
other two doors are
goats. The contestant picks a door. Monty then reveals one of the goats
behind one of the two remaining doors, and gives the contestant a
chance
to switch to the
other (nonchosen) door.
Should the contestant switch, or stick with his original choice?
The contestant should switch. If he sticks with his original choice,
it doesn't matter that Monty has revealed a goat, and the probability
that
he has chosen the car is
1/3.
However, Monty is not picking doors to open at random. Monty only
shows
the contestant where a goat is. If the contestant switches after seeing
the goat, he raises
his chances of winning to 2/3.
Huh? Look at it this way. If you pick a door, the probability that
you
picked the right one is 1/3, and there is a 2/3 probability that the
car
is behind one of the doors
that you didn't pick. Monty shows you the goat behind one of the two
remaining doors. So, if (with 2/3 probability) you didn't choose the
car,
you will get it (with
probability 1) if you switch. Therefore, the probability of winning
if you switch is 2/3, the probability that you didn't pick the car on
your
first choice.
Still confused? Well, suppose there were 100 doors: one car and 99
goats.
The contestant picks one of the 100 doors, and then Monty opens 98 of
the
remaining
doors to show 98 goats. Now, should the contestant stick with his
original
choice or pick the one remaining door that Monty didn't open? He should
switch, of
course! If he switches, he raises his probability of winning to 99/100.
for a test you can check for yourself go to:http://cartalk.cars.com/Tools/monty.pl
anyways, after much deliberation, David
has deciphered it logically. the question is..can you?
THE FIRST EVER ADUNAI CONTEST!
Explain the situation above in clear concise logical steps and
you
will win a FREE ADUNAI T-SHIRT!
thats right.. now you don't have to walk around naked anymore.
(not this one, a new one that isn't mine)
send explanations to isen@adunai.net
and the first winner will get a shirt.
btw..
you bastards with no faith in me should know i got an A on the math
test, im offended you had to ask.
10.08.02
so i got my test back...
quick synopsis of the situation:
an overconfident college student goes to his math class to take a
test.
he hasn't studied, he has hardly payed attention in class, he hasn't
done
even a page of homework. He arrives without the required
scientific
calculator or the recommended graphic calculator. He doesn't even
know what the test is about, but he is so sure of himself he has the
gall
to nurse a cough a
mere
hour before entering the test. why? no reason.. he is an arrogant
fool.
Think of all the myths that teach us against this, think of all the
lessons
we've learned! The only question seemingly is, what will lady
justice
do to him to balance the scales? will the ants show pity on the
grasshopper
and share their feast with him despite his laziness? what kind of
defeat
could the hare expect at the hands of fate? how will GOD punish
him
for being so unjustly arrogant, so sinful with his pride?
find
out by clicking here.
10.03.02
Sleeping forever without dreaming.
until..
i woke up, realizing some how in the middle of the night i must have
subconsciecly sabotaged my alarm clock so i wouldn't wake up in time
for
class. No problem, right? just psych.. he doesn't even take roll
call. I can get the notes from one of the 2 other people in my
class.
Disaster averted.. So i get up at 9:10, and drive to class, arrive
there
at 10:00 (odd, since it normally takes me 35 minutes with heavy
traffic,
and there was none) to find out class was already over, he let everyone
out an hour early. The problem with this is that class usually
lasts
until 11:30, giving me an hour and a half break before math at
1:00.
now it was 10:00 o'clock, 3 hours from Math, and no salvation in
sight.
I could drive home, but its a long drive, gas is expensive, and what
would
i do at my house that i couldn't do in my car? Instead i could choose
to
succumb to addictions of yore and kick it New Lexington style. I
drive to McDonalds, and for the first time in my entire life i get
there
before 11:00 so i get BREAKFAST. I order an egg mcmuffin with no
meat and 2 hash browns, and park under the trees behind the
building.
I eat breakfast. I listen to the radio. I play
Castlevania:Harmony
of Dissonance on my gameboy. I look at the clock, 10:30.
*sigh*
You don't understand New Lexington, or Ohio in general. It is
a wide expanse of nothingness, dotted here and there with towns filled
with things i am not interested in. There are a few stores in
town,
Subway, a gas station, a grocery store, and a large local version of
K-mart.
I walk into the place and look around. Scanning through the
aisles
I felt like a thief, i wasn't there to steal, but it was like i was
trying
to pry excitement from the hands of someone who didn't want to give it
to me. I left.
I was thirsty so i got my in car and looked for change. 50
cents.
In california, this would buy me nothing, however, i am in OHIO. in the
distance I see a row of soda machines for 50 cents a piece. I
walk
over there to check out my options.
I am a Pepsi man. proofproofproofproof
However, there is some bad wiring in my brain that causes my mind to
revolts against everything, even itself. Coke or Pepsi, Coke or
Pepsi,
Coke or Pepsi. those were really the only two options. I
looked
at the machines, then breathed a sigh of relief. On the coke
machine
was a sign "out of order". The Islamics believe the best way to
resist
temptation is to avoid it. Im not going to say anything for sure,
but maybe, just MAYBE, that sign was a figment of my imagination, my
subconscience
pulling rank to ensure i do the right thing. I pay for my soda
and
drink it. I get in my car and drive to class.
The Math Test
I haven't paid attention to class, i haven't done homework. I
am above this class, i am its master. i didn't even bring a
graphic
calculator, i brought a solar one my dad got from the bank. I
didn't
even bring a pencil. er... I needed one, but luckily someone had
lost one once and it made its way into my hands. While waiting
for
the test i wrote a
rant about the tortoise and the hare
The test came, i took it. In retrospect, i should have payed
attention
at least enough to know what the test was going to be about. I
winged
it, and i believe i did alright. but we'll see.
anyways
sorry..i know this update sucks..
heres one more thing for you: HURRY
WE ONLY HAVE 3700 YEARS TO LIVE
10.2.02
I am in OHIO. I have my pc so i can start updating again.
I am going to Hocking college in New Lexington.. i live in
millersport..
"wanting something without loving it is greed. wanting to control
something
is just seeking power.. but what does power get you but the loss of
self.
Only by surrendering
all power, all personal strengths, only when you lay yourself completly
bare and defenseless can you know your true desires. But do you really
want to know them?
When you truly love something, only a few things can happen: you will
destroy it, or it will destroy you." -figarus
7.13.02
hey, how the hell did we get HERE of all places?
i can't be presumptuous enough to say i completely understand the
nature
of adunai, i just know that in everything i do, i seek to understand it
better.
i've always believed it is against power. power is just the
ability
to control others, force them to surrender to you, its the raw form of
corruption, it creates greed, discontent, manipulation. by destroying
power,
it enables raw individualism, without fear of the status quo, without
fear
of opression. but how do you undermine power? its nature is
to defeat all that stands in its way, regardless of concequences.
with the existance of power, true freedom can never be attained.
hello, this is the captain speaking, we're now making our final
approach
to the Mexican International Airport, while you're here, you should
enjoy
the great scuba diving and desperadoing, i hope you enjoyed your trip
and
we will be landing shortly.
*presses the ejection seat button*
I hate how what is true and good can always get overwhelmed and
destroyed.
I wish what is true and right had a weapon that could cut through
corruption.
Mehakoi: "but if you cut a gash in it, it just fills up and is whole
again.. it isn't even phased"
Isen: "then i wish i could make a big adunai chi ball and blow the
whole damn thing away"
truth and lies are of no concequence
neither is right or wrong
there are only two options:
fight forever alone or surrender completly and be saved*
*by saved, i mean assimilated into a happy content
zombie
who does the will of the overmind
7.9.02
woo that was a quick 5 monthes :)
part 3 - a more
perfect
machine
