"Quit that" Daisy said, glaring at the Bumbler.
The Bumbler stood straight up. He had been slumped and scratching his armpits like a
monkey, to the amusement of the children on the side of the road and the bereavement of
the guards. The two rogues were locked in a cage.
"Aw.. why are you so grumpy?" the Mad Bumbler replied.
"Man, you got us captured AGAIN, what do you mean, why am I grumpy?"
"Me? I don't see how you can blame this on me.."
"Let me quote you 'don't worry Daisy, we'll be fine, just let me handle it..' then you
crashed right into that vase and we had every guard in the palace on us!" Daisy spoke
sternly.
"Aw come on, we'll be fine, this is nothing, you should know that," Bumbler replied
wearily.
"One day we're not gonna be 'fine' and I'm gonna strangle you"
"You always say that, I’m not gonna talk to you until you get over this" The Bumbler said,
sitting down and leaning against the side of the cage.
"Yeah yeah.." Daisy whispered.
"Quit talking!" a guard came and rattled his sword against the bars.
"We were done anyways." The Bumbler hissed to him.

When they arrived at the Lothgar prison, two guards came and dragged them to a cell.
In the center of the room was a giant hole that was apparently a combination toilet,
trashcan, rat cage. It made the place stink like hell. Daisy was pissed off cause he needed
to smoke and the Bumbler was yelling at the guards because he wanted food. After about
20 minutes of his incessant yelling they came by and through a bowl of slop at him. He
sniffed it and threw it back.
"I SAID FOOD" he yelled at them.
Daisy meanwhile was fiddling with some string he pulled out of his prison issue shirt and
some straw, after a few minutes he had a big grin on his face.
"Check this Bumbler" he said, finally in a good mood.
"What’s that?" Bumbler replied inquisitively.
Daisy folded his arms across his broad chest. "Rat trap," he said grinning.
He lowered his trap into the hole and after a few minutes he jerked his hand up. His
persistent grin got even wider as he pulled the string up, a rat dangling from the noose.
"Dinner" he said.
After a few minutes, he had the bugger skinned and was roasting it over a fire Bumbler
made with the flint and steel the guards forgot to confiscate. Both of them were licking
their lips, and the noise of other prisoners howling at the smell of cooking flesh rang
through the hallways of the jail.
“Mmm, good stuff” Bumbler said slurping down a boiled mouse.
“You said it brother” Daisy grinned.
“Maybe we can use these rat skins to make a new cloak or something.” Bumbler offered.
“That’s the most idiotic idea I’ve ever heard you say Bumbler, you think I’m gonna wear a
pile of lice ridden rat skins? Gimme a break”
“Aw, I’m just bored.”
“Want another?”
“Nah, they’re a bit greasy for me, lets say we break outa here and find some beef, eh?”
“Good idea, so what’s the plan?”
“its your turn”
“Eh? Yeah, but I don’t think your last plan should count Bumbler, considering it nearly got
us killed and landed us here in the first place”
“You never hear me complain when YOUR plans fail, do you?”
“Yeah, and how often is that?”
“Shut up.”
“That’s what I thought” Daisy nodded contentedly.
“Yeah, but look at the things we have to do with your plans, last time you had us dressed
like women.” Bumbler muttered.
“Okay.. so fine, we’ll make a plan together this time”
“Aight..”
“So what are you thinking?” Daisy peered at Bumbler.
“I’ll make a bunch of racket and get the guards over here, when they open the cage to beat
me senseless, you can just beat em up, we’ll take their gear and book it out of this place.”
“Straight forward approach eh? Well these ones didn’t look so tough, so why not?”

“Your mothers are lice ridden apes! Was this the best job you could get? Baby sitting
filthy prisoners, you fat oafs! Your parents must be damn proud of you idiots! When me
and Dais get outa here we’re gonna visit your wives! They love us! Especially me! I’m
gonna make the....oh hi” Bumbler said.
“’Lo, fool.  Quit this racket or I’ll tie you to the rack and make you grow another foot” A
burly guard armed with an axe said, brandishing his weapon.
“He’s pretty short, that’s a good idea” Daisy said nodding.
“Im not short” Bumbler grumbled to Daisy “and why ye actin so tough?” he said glaring at
the guard. “Its easy to act like a big man when you’re out there and I’m in here”
“Heh, nice try.  I’m quite confident in who I am, and I’m not too insulted by someone who
is gonna die in their cell in a few weeks.”  The guard grinned broadly.
“Check it Dais, a self-actualized guard.” Bumbler said.
“Yeah sure Bumbler..” Daisy rolled his eyes.
“So how about this, just let us out..Ye seem like a reasonable fellow, we’ don’ wanna
hurtcha.”
The Guard nods “Hm, I would except..no.”
“Bah!” Bumbler said, then scratched his beard. “Your mom says hi!”
“Heard that one before too..” The guard rolled his eyes.
“Oh yeah?  She gets around a lot then I guess”  Bumbler retorted
“Sure buddy..” The guard chuckled.
“You know, your shift is gonna be over soon and some idiot’ll come over here and get all
hurt by these things he’s saying, and we’ll be able to escape.”   Daisy said tapping his foot.
“True, that..” the guard said nodding. “Well, only one solution then..”
The guard proceeded to take a blowgun out of his hip pouch, he then loaded it with a dart,
aimed it at the Bumbler and blew.  He then took another one out and fired it at Daisy.
This guard was pretty smart so he shot them both a second time for good measure.

 Hours later, Bumbler woke up in a steel box with one door and no windows.
“Bah... DAISY!” he yelled.
No response.
“DAISY? WHERE ARE YOU?” he hollered.
“Ugh, this sucks.” He said laying down against his wall.

Meanwhile Daisy was left in the other cell.  He hummed old northman songs to himself
waiting for a guard or someone to come.  He began fishing for more rats and actually
contemplated making a ratskin cloak for the Bumbler, before remember how stupid the
idea was.  Finally a guard came to give him his Morning gruel, but Daisy said “no thanks,
I’ve eaten.”
“What?” The guard (not the one from earlier) said.
“I’ve eaten, I’ve been eating shishkabobs all morning?”
“Is that so?  You’re hallucinating.” the guard replied.
“Uh huh, sure, then what’s this?”  Daisy held up a ratburger and took a big bite.
“Hey!” The guard unlocked the cell and drew his sword.  An armed and armored guard
wielding a longsword against Daisy, who was only armed with half a ratburger? Would
this be the end of the giant?
 
 
 

A few minutes later a large man wearing armor that was obviously too small for him was
wandering the hallways of the prison.  He was headed towards the maximum security
dungeon in the basement when he overheard a voice coming from an office at the entrance.
He crept closer and looked in, a large tattoo’ed fellow and a well dressed warden were
discussing an inmate.
“Haha, finally an execution, we’ve been three days without one” the tattoo’ed man said.
“You get too much pleasure out of those” the warden replied.
“Yes, maybe, but this one has been a thorn in the side of this empire for so long.” the
tattoo’ed man grinned.  “After we knock him off we’ll be able to bend his larger comrade
to our side.”
“You think? I’m not so sure, I think both of their swordsman talents are going to go to
waste.  The Large One has more to him then you think”
“Bah..” the Tattoo’ed man shook his head “we’ll soon see.”
They both stood up and headed for the doorway, Daisy quickly hid behind the corner of
the hallway, the prison warden and the tattoo’ed man left the room and headed down the
steps.  As quietly as he could, Daisy walked behind them, far enough away so not to draw
attention.  When they reached the bottom of the stairs they turned left down another long
hall way that opened up at the end to a large room with no windows.  Daisy kept as much
distance as he could but from what he could see, the situation wasn’t good.  A large glass
case stood in the center of the room, and a man covered with a large green sheet sat in the
middle of the case.  A group of guards stood around the case talking and laughing,
occasionally tossing food over the top of the case at the prisoner.  The prisoner struggled
like he was tied up and Daisy could hear grunts from him.  After a few minutes the
warden stood up on the table with the Case.
“Well my friends, you are all fortunate to be here today.  For today you will see the death
of the infamous Mad Bumbler”
Daisy slapped his forehead.  Before he had suspected this was the case, but now that he
knew some fear crept into his mind.  How was he gonna bail his comrade out of this one.
Trying to rescue him could only result in his capture and execution, but what other choice
did he have?  The two comrades had saved each others lives too many times to count, and
more then too many times to just abandon him.  Daisy thought about his strategy.

He wasn’t given much opportunity to weigh his options though, because a cheer arose
amongst the crowd of guards.  A large vat of acid was carted in by two behemoth guards,
and was loaded up unto a steel lift next to the glass cage.  The well dressed Warden rose
from the crowd and raised his hand, the group was silenced.
“Well my boy, this is your end, anything to say for yourself?” the warden said, opening
the glass cage and taking the sack off the bumbler’s head.
Bumbler looked around and saw all the grim ugly faces of the Lothgar prison, and
shrugged.  He struggled against the ropes that bound him to no avail for a couple seconds
before giving up, he looked up at the Warden.
“eh..” Bumbler grunted.
“Nothing at all?” the warden replied.
Bumbler scanned the crowd again, beginning to lose hope.  He sighed deeply and
shrugged again.
“So be it.” the man said, closing the glass door.  He stepped down off the platform and
pulled on the tattoo’ed man’s shirt, indicating for him to follow.  The two climbed a ladder
into a loft above the room, there he pulled a large lever, one that apparently controlled the
lift..  A loud clicking sound started.
Slowly the vat of acid raised from the floor on, its hinges swaying and creaking.  Hooked
unto the glass case’s frame was a metal bar that began to tilt the vat over, which began to
pour the acid it contained down a steel pipe which funneled down to the bottom of the
cage.  Slowly the acid built from the bottom, covering the Mad Bumblers feet, eating
away at his boots.

Meanwhile Daisy was cursing himself for not being able to come up with a rescue plan.
Then he remember an ancient northman’s proverb that his clan leader had told him:
“When intelligence fails, use brute force”
He picked up a chair that was propped against the wall and charged the crowd.  Bellowing
loudly as he ran towards them, the entire group turned from the scene with Bumbler and
stared at Daisy.  He hurled the chair at the glass case shattering the clear sides and spilling
the acid down unto the floor.  The guards all drew their weapons and Daisy halted in his
footsteps.  He took a step back prepared to take on the hoard, unfortunately he was
unarmed and horribly outnumbered, and as they advanced, he realized surrender might be
the best course of action.  Three of the brutes surrounded him and held him down, one
holding a knife to his throat.  Daisy could only think to himself “man.. what a freaking bad
idea this was.”
He looked at the Bumbler who was staring down at his feet, which were unburned by the
acid but covered with boiled and burned away leather.  In an uncharacteristic tone of
voice, Daisy’s shorter comrade growled a curse to the Guards.
“Bastards.” He spoke in such an angry, rage-filled, almost demonic tone that the guards
were taken aback.  They turned away from Daisy and stared at him.
“My ENTIRE life” Bumbler hissed to them. “I have spent my entire life searching for one
thing, and ONE thing only.”
His face contorted in an ogrish visage as his whole body quivered with rage.
“One thing, and you idiots, you god damned fools..” he couldn’t even formulate his words
as he began frothing at his mouth.
“I have spent my entire life trying to find a decent pair of boots, you know, well made,
sturdy, yet comfortable and supportive.  I have spent years and years searching, and finally
two days ago, I met an old cobbler.  He was a master at his craft and as a reward for me
saving his daughter, he made for me his MAGNUS OPUS, his masterpiece.  A pair of
boots SO perfect, that the gods themselves only could dream of footwear such as these.
And you idiots burn them off, I only got to wear them for 2 days, and you MELT THEM
OFF WITH ACID.  I understand you trying to kill me and my bestfriend, but to melt off
my BOOTS..  argh.. You guys are dead.”
The Mad Bumbler then snapped the ropes that bound him to the chair and the contingency
took a step back and the three guards holding Daisy got suprised and let him go.
“ohh, he’s a scary bunny when he’s mad” Daisy grinned.
 Daisy took his chance and drew a sword from one of their sheaths and proceeded to
decapitate them in one fell swoop.  He then tossed the blade to the Bumbler’s waiting
hands who charged the group like a mad bull.  Daisy charged in from the other side
knocking out an unready guard and taking his axe.  Swinging it around in wide arcs, the
guards began getting tossed away, like the Berserk was a man amongst children.
Meanwhile the Bumbler was howling with rage, showing his own unique style death
dealing, swinging his blade with both hands faster then anyone could compensate.

In mere moments the battle had finished, and Bumbler and Daisy met in the middle.  The
guards were all either dead or retreating far away into the bowels of the prison.  The two
comrades shook hands and began their egress from the prison.  Working their way up
through the dungeon, very little happened worth mentioning.   When they finally found the
exit, they left the blades their and sprinted as fast as they could into the protection of the
forest.

Meanwhile, the Warden and the Tattoo’ed giant sat in their office, grinning at one another,
their plan had succeeded, and it was only a matter of time before things were going to go
very good for them.

But that’s another story.